Book Readress

Flash Burnout by L.K. Madigan

2011-12-23T06:28:00.000-08:00

Flash Burnout by L.K. Madigan

One of those books from a boy's perspective, which I realize I don't read that often unless it's high fantasy.

Why I checked it out- The back cover intrigued me- a reviewer called it hysterical and it won the William C. Morris award in 2010. Not that I'd heard of that award before, but it must be decent, right?

Anyhow, sometimes "witty" characters just aren't as funny as they're meant to be, so I was curious if Blake would feel authentic. And to my surprise, he did. Blake scores himself everyday on how many times he makes people laugh, especially his girlfriend, Shannon. She's perfect. Totally. Not only does she think he's hysterical, but she's hot and not psycho, and she likes to make out with him. But Blake's photography partner, Marissa, needs a friend, and he's there to help as she tries to get her meth-addicted mother into rehab. Marissa is having a really hard time, and Blake really cares about her, and suddenly Marissa is more than "just a friend." That's when Shan hits the fit.

I really enjoyed this book, much more than I expected to even when I was a few chapters in. It took some time to really connect with Blake, in part I think because he's so funny, so it takes a while to see his soft underbelly. But there's a really sweet kid under there, and this story totally hooked me.

Contentwise, there are mentions of drugs (Marissa's mother is on meth, portrayed negatively), alcohol (Marissa gets drunk a few times, portrayed negatively), sex (Blake thinks about physical intimacy a fair amount. I've never been a guy, but it seemed reasonable. Some characters talk about sex and when the right time is, a parent gives a character "the talk" and shows him where the box of condoms is for whenever he needs one. Some characters have sex and there are consequences. None of this was meant to titillate, instead it was more of a look at how confusing these decisions are and how important it is to make good decisions. No discussion of abstinence, it was a given that teens will have sex.)

Anybody else read this? What did you think?

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Last Minute

2011-12-20T06:42:00.000-08:00

Last week, my 4 year old asked me to help him write a note to Santa...for his daddy. He asked how to spell "Daddy's" and "Santa," and then asked me to write "phone, one pair of biking pants and shirt, chocolate candy, new car, and tennis shoes." Which is completely on target. The only thing he missed is the yearly request for Gator fan gear.

I was really impressed because little kids are supposedly only capable of thinking about what they want and assume that other people would want the same things. Their brains aren't wired to understand other people's perspectives yet. So Mommy would want a new DS game, Daddy would want a Lego set, etc.

That's the level I'm still at. I want books for Christmas, so of course that's what everyone else wants, too! This means that Jojo, at 4 years old, is a better gift idea person than me.

This gives me a shopping phobia, which leads me to be a last minute shopper, which in turn makes it even harder to find personal, amazing gifts. It's a vicious cycle, one that it's too late to break this year!

Maybe next year, I'll sit down with Jojo in July and we can start our Christmas gift list. Yep. That's the plan.

Five days til Christmas! Happy shopping, friends!

Crossed by Ally Condie

2011-11-28T12:36:00.000-08:00

Cassia has risked her citizen status and all the benefits- a long life, perfect health, a good job and a match with her best friend, Xander- to find Ky in the Outer Provinces. But when she finally gets there, he's just escaped into the borderlands and she can only follow the clues he's left behind.

I liked Crossed, and I think readers of Dashner's "The Maze" and Westerfeld's Uglies series will find plenty to keep them happy. However, Crossed didn't blow my socks off, and I've been trying to figure out why. The writing is good and the characters are vibrant, the setting is amazing, and everything is in place to transport the reader.

My best guess is that it's because the author flinched. There were a lot of potential conflicts that were avoided- the traders/farmers were gone when he and Cassia and their friends got there, so there was no problem with them rifling through their valuable papers and taking what they wanted. The closest the Society came to hurting them was dropping poison into the river, which killed a bunch of fish, but didn't actually hurt any people. A side character dies, but Ky and Cassia never seem to be in danger, except from dehydration. On paper, the stakes are high, but it always feels distant, even when the bullets are flying around the characters.

I loved Ky's POV. I love Cassia's determination. I liked the secret we learn about Xander, and I wonder how Cassia will feel when she finds out. Love triangles are hard to pull off without seeming cliche, but Xander and Ky are very different people and I can understand how Cassia could have feelings for either of them. I guess we'll find out who she chooses next year! I'll definitely read the conclusion!

Thanks to Around the World ARC tours for the chance to read Crossed!

Dearly, Departed by Lia Habel

2011-11-21T05:33:00.000-08:00

I've read a few steampunk books- The Leviathan series by Scott Westerfeld and Soulless by Gail Carringer- and now one for YA. Very enjoyable book, but as with other reviewers, I found some of the minor characters a bit flat. The number of POV characters didn't bother me so much, but I realized I skimmed over the ones that weren't as important to Nora and her story (there were 5 POVs). The most important parts of the book- the romance and the world building were excellent, though. Lots of fun dialogue as well.

Nora Dearly has been in mourning for her father for the last year, and in New Victoria, that means wearing black and staying out of society. When she returns home from her finishing school after the term, she is attacked by the Greys, a zombie army that the government has been keeping out of the holo-news for years. She fights her way to the roof, where she meets another undead army, led by the not-entirely-dapper Captain Bram Griswold. She is rescued, but can't trust her rescuers, though these zombies retain their senses and their intellect, unlike the undead horde. Bram is as charming undead as he was alive, and Nora comes to trust him and to overcome her fear of his medical condition as they work together to stop the horde from destroying her home city and everyone she loves.

Okay, this was a really fun read. I will admit that the zombie thing is kind of confusing to me- isn't necrophilia gross to anyone else in this world?! But when I was reading it, I understood why Nora fell in love with Bram, and vice versa. It's juat when I stop and think about it that it's a problem.

Content-wise, there is some fighting, legs falling off, hands falling off, eyes being removed so they won't get lost during a fight, and all sorts of gross zombie body problems. There is some drinking and smoking, but in the main, the undead are very concerned about taking care of their bodies. A sweet romance, but, um, zombies can't exactly perform, so there's no chance of anything more. I don't want to read bedroom scenes anyway, but it's hard for me to believe that a young woman would settle for a romance where there wasn't some chance for a physical relationship in the future. If vampires couldn't have sex, I have no doubt that Bella would have wished Edward good luck, but goodbye. :)

Anyhow, fun read, I really liked it. I'll read the next one when it comes out. Thanks to Around the World ARC Tours for the chance to preview this book. This book was released on Oct 18th. Happy Reading!

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We Do Not Mourn As Those Without Hope

2011-11-18T07:01:00.000-08:00

*written earlier this week*

It's been a strange week, full of many highs and lows. My mom was involved in a very serious car accident last Thursday when she was driving to visit me. I'd stayed up waiting for her until midnight, then felt too tired and went to bed. I was wakened to my cell phone about 1:30, and my mom told me she'd run off the road and hit a tree. She was incredibly blessed to have no serious injuries, only some deep bruises from the airbag and the seatbelt.

We talked for a few minutes, then hung up so she could call the police. Nathan and I got in a discussion, in the straight sense of the word, about what to do. I wanted to hop in the car and race to be with her, about an hour and a half away. He felt it was unsafe to be driving so late after receiving such a shocking phone call, and that there was no way he was going to compound the problem by letting me go, especially on so little sleep. I understood, but said there was no way I was going to send her to a hotel and see her in the morning. I needed to be there, asap.

We prayed together, thanking Heavenly Father for his mercy in answering our earlier prayers for my mom's safety. She'd been much on our minds and hearts, and I think that with family prayer, couple prayer and each of our individual prayers, we'd said 8 prayers for her safe travel. I wished that I'd called her at midnight before I'd gone to bed, like I'd intended to. I wished that I'd insisted that she stop at a hotel instead of just suggesting it. Still, she'd been protected and I was, and am, grateful.

There seemed to be no way that Nathan's concern for my safety and my desire to be there for my mom could both be satisfied. We said another prayer, again thanking God for her safety and asking that somehow this would work out.

I called my mom back, and she told me that a woman had stopped (after the police were already on the scene- how often does that happen?) and asked where she was going. Turns out the woman was driving right through Columbia, and offered to give her a ride. The woman said she'd felt "nudged" to pull over. She also offered to drive Mom back to Tampa on Sunday, which she did.

How crazy is that? Such a huge, tangible blessing. The woman stopped at 2 in the morning and stayed with my mom while they waited for a tow truck, arouns an hour an a half. Who does that?

I have felt this renewed sense of Heavenly Father's quiet presence in our lives, his gentle leading us through trials.

Tonight, we got a call from a close family member that their full-term baby had not had a heartbeat during their prenatal appointment today. Tomorrow morning, they will go to the hospital to deliver their little daughter, and bath her and say good bye. We are shocked and so very sad.

I am struck that the same God who heard and answered our prayers for my mom in such a bold and obvious way manner would answer this prayer in a way that we so little care to receive. It's a hard thing.

Comfort comes when I think on the great sacrifice of the Savior, and the resurrection and eternal life that all little children will receive. It is a blessing and a source of peace to know that these beloved children will be in our family for eternity, that they will not suffer or miss out on anything good about this life, though their time here be short. They will have the opportunity to grow up and make the covenant of marriage that will enable them to progress in the next life, and to enjoy the things that my heart most longs for- my husband and children, my parents, and grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins and nieces and nephews. For the friends of my heart and the opportunity to enlarge the circle of those I know and love. How could God be just if these children were denied those things that make heaven heavenly? My heart tells me that He would not deny them these things, and latter-day scripture confirms it.

"The Lord takes many away, even in infancy, that they may escape the envy of man, and the sorrows and evils of this present world; they were considered too pure, too lovely, to live on earth; therefore if it is rightly considered, instead of mourning we have reason to rejoice as they are delivered from evil, and we shall soon have them again....The only difference between the old and the young dying is, one lives longer in heaven and eternal light and glory than the other, and is freed a little sooner from this miserable, wicked world. Notwithstanding all this glory, we for a moment lose sight of it and mourn the loss, but we do not mourn as those without hope." (Joseph Smith, The Teachings of the Presidents of the Church, pgs. 176-177)

We do not mourn as those without hope. Much love to you all.

*Update- My sister-in-law safely delivered, and today is the graveside service.

The Scorpio Races by Maggie Stiefvater

2011-11-15T18:27:00.000-08:00

I'm so proud of myself for finally figuring out how to spell her name!

The Scorpio Races by Maggie Stiefvater

Not my first book by Ms. Steifvater, but my favorite because of the strong characters and a setting both wild and beautiful. One of my top 3 books this year, one of those rare YA books that doesn't feel trope-y.

Sean has raced - and won- the deadly horse races on the Island of Thisby for four years on the back of his sea horse, Corr. Corr is his heart, his future and his only love, but Corr has killed before, and Sean can never forget it. It's an uneasy truce, to say the least, but Sean hopes that if he wins the race this year, he will be able to buy Corr and gain independence from the horse breeder who seems to regard Sean as a possession right along with the horses.

Puck Connolly, sometimes called Kate, is desperate. Her parents are a year dead and she and her brothers struggle to hang on the their house and fill their bellies. When her older brother announces that he's abandoning them for work on the mainland, she enters the Scorpio races as the first girl to enter, on a pony named Dove, to boot. The islanders are sure she'll be dead on the wave-thrashed beach before the race even begins. For the sea horses, the Capaill Uisce, feed on flesh and will pull a rider under the waves if given the smallest opening.

Sean is a quiet young man, serious and strong-willed. I loved his gentle understanding of the horses and the way he and Puck grew to understand, then to love each other.

I loved the island, the water horses, the religious traditions from pagan to Christianity, the beautifully complex characters. Ms. Stiefvater created a story that I cared deeply about and was sorry to finish. It read like a standalone, but I'd be delighted if their were more to this story.

Content-wise, there is a lot of pub-going, some drunkenness. There are several bloody deaths and some fighting. There are a few kisses. I'd think that 13 and up could handle it.

Many thanks to Around the World ARC tours for giving me the chance to read the ARC:)

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The Future of Us, by Jay Asher and Carolyn Mackler

2011-11-07T05:43:00.000-08:00

Good morning everbody! Thanks to everyone who left a question for Dave Farland on Friday. I'm going to email him the questions and post his answers later this week, hopefully. I apologize on Dave's behalf, I'm sure he's simply overwhelmed with all that he's bitten off.

So, moving on, I sign up for these books on Around the World Blog Tours, and some weeks or months later, the book magically appears in my mailbox. This time, I opened the package and was like, "Really? I picked a "Facebook" inspired book?" I chalked it up a rushed moment, a moment of great optimism where everything looked good. But, I said I'd read it, so I did. And I'm glad, because it was actually a good book.

1996 and Josh and Emma are best friends, or they were until Josh misunderstood Emma's signals (or lack thereof) and tried to kiss her. Now they pass each other in the hall and barely manage to nod. It was a small moment, which shouldn't really matter that much in the grand scheme of things, but it changed everything between them.

But when Emma loads AOL (100 hours free!) and a strange program called Facebook pops up, Emma calls Josh to come look. Emma of the future doesn't sound happy, but Josh is delighted to learn he's happily married to the school hottie. They have children together--which means they must have had sex at some point--how awesome is that? Emma is determined to save her future self from whatever mistakes she's headed toward, but Josh is desperate to make sure nothing at all changes, and that's when things get sticky.

It's a new twist on time machines, and I loved all the 90s references--discmans and nobody having cell phones--but it was the characters that made this book worth the read. I really enjoyed watching Josh and Emma struggle with their relationship to each other and their possible futures. I especially enjoyed how Josh felt as his future family gained and lost children because I think it would take a time machine to get most teens- esp boys- to consider that they will one day be parents.

My oldest just turned 11, and for a few weeks now he's kept coming up to me and telling me how weird it is to be old, because I've been letting him go on bike rides and to the school to play football with his friends. (I'll admit here it makes me nervous, but I know the other kids well, and Isaac isn't a good liar, and I've asked him some pretty direct questions about how everybody behaves without supervision. So far, so good.)

Anyway, the point was, I'm 33, and it's still weird. Anybody else surprised at how OLD they are? Read this book and feel really old, then!

Happy Reading!

Interview with Dave Farland and his new release, "Nightingale"

2011-11-04T06:03:00.000-07:00

Today we (finally!) welcome Dave Farland to talk about his new book, Nightingale, about a teenaged alien who was abandoned to be raised by humans.

Kelly: I did a little internet research and found out that many birds, including the brown-headed cowbird, will lay eggs in other birds' nests. Did you ever, even once, consider calling the series "Brown-headed Cowbird?"

Dave: Of course that-was the first name that jumped to mind. There are over a hundred types of birds that practice brood parasitism, but when I thought of the title Nightingale, I just knew that it was special. I thought, “Bird lovers everywhere will flock to buy this book!”

Kelly: Hehe. Flock. Could you tell us a little more about Bron and the world he lives in. Who are the Aels and Draghouls?

Dave: Bron is a boy, age 16, abandoned at birth, and raised in foster care. He doesn’t want much out of life, except maybe to learn to play his guitar well and be left alone. But when he’s thrown out of his latest home, he goes to live in a small town in Southern Utah, where his new foster mother recognizes that he’s not even human. He’s what her people, the Ael, call a “nightingale,” a child left to be raised by humans. The question in her mind is, is he an Ael—one of an ancient race that humans once considered to be minor gods, or is he a Draghoul, a descendent of her enemies. As Bron struggles to understand the mystery of his birth, he’s suddenly thrust into the midst of a strange and secret war that has been waged for thousands of years.

Kelly: The opening pages grabbed me because Bron doesn't even know he's an alien, which is so different from the alien invasion I've been waiting for;) Next question: You’re releasing this book in a variety of formats, from hardcover novel to audiobook, electronic book, and enhanced book. What makes an enhanced book, well, enhanced?

Dave: The enhanced novel is something like a movie. It has its own soundtrack, provided by James Guymon, president of the American Composer’s Guild, and I think that’s a real bonus, since it helps the reader capture the mood of the piece. It also has more than a hundred animations and illustrations, rather than just a single picture on the cover, which helps readers visualize the world. Last of all, if you want, you can access notes in the enhanced version, so that you can learn a bit about the genesis of ideas—which makes it sort of like having the writer in the room. Of course, most enhanced novels come as apps that you have to read on an iPad or something similar, but we have an emulator so that anyone with a computer can access it.

Kelly: That's so cool. Or is the word innovative? I think we all dream of seeing our characters come alive- I know I've done a casting call for mine, because it's fun to think about. I think it's fun for readers. Maybe one day we'll have people saying things like, "The enhanced book was way better than the movie!"

Let's talk about what's next for you. You've ranged across the fantasy genre, writing the NYT Best Selling series, "The Runelords," and for the Star Wars and Mummy series, plus some science fiction, as well. Last year your historical fiction "In the Company of Angels" won the Whitney Award for best novel, and now you're launching a series for young adults.

That's an eclectic list. Do you have some chicklit inside your soul, yearning to see light?

Dave: Alas, I don’t feel qualified to write chicklit. I have been accused of being a “rabid feminist” though. I deny being rabid. Feminist, definitely. I want women to be treated with dignity and respect. Men too. And kids. And people of all races and ages and intellectual abilities. And let’s not forget near-humans like the Ael and even the Draghouls!

Kelly: How many ideas do you have in development right now?

Dave: Seriously, I don’t keep count. Right now I’m developing a large world for a MMORPG, and that will lead to a fantasy series. I have a horror novel I’d love to do—first contact with nasty aliens. Then of course there’s the Nightigale series, and I have a YA fantasy series about a young Merlin, and a few others. But I’m focusing on getting the Runelords series finished up, and working on getting the movie made for it. Once that’s in production, I’d like to move Nightingale into production, too. I have a producer who wants to make the movie already. We just have to wait until the time is right.

Kelly: How long ago did the idea for Nightingale come to you and how did you develop it?

Dave: I’ve been thinking about doing something like Nightingale for about fifteen years. When I was teaching Stephenie Meyer at BYU, we once talked about what she’d need to do to become the bestselling YA writer of our time, and I remember wishing that one could sell a contemporary YA fantasy back in 2001, but there just wasn’t a market for it. The publishers weren’t interested. Stephenie caught the writing bug a couple of years later, and really hit just as publishers began to recognize how huge the YA fantasy market could be. It would have been nice to hit just after she did.

Kelly: How many outlines are you waiting for the time to write?

Dave: I usually don’t outline the novel until I start it. I’d say that there are a dozen novels that I would seriously like to outline right now, but I have several criteria for writing a novel. I have to be driven to write it, but I also have to feel that it’s marketable and a good investment of my time. In the Company of Angels was something of an exception. I just felt compelled to write it despite my better judgment.

Kelly: I loved In the Company of Angels, about the Martin Handcart company. I'd advise anybody to avoid reading the last half of the book in public places and to have a box of tissues handy. No smiley face. That means I just made a serious recommendation, okay?
Lots of my blog readers are writers trying to find an agent and get published, just like me. You advised me back in June to get a contract with a traditional publisher if I could and then think about self-publishing once I had some credibility and, hopefully, a fan base. Does your advice still stand, or have the changes in the market altered your opinions?

Dave: The markets are evolving rapidly. If you’re looking at trying to break into a big genre—thriller, young adult—then I think that it may be worthwhile to sell a novel in that genre and establish some credibility. But you should only do it if the publisher is going to push you big. If they aren’t going to push your work, you don’t want them. After all, you can put out your own novel without any push, and you’d probably do it with more loving care.

Now, here’s my caveat: Electronic sales are growing so rapidly that you should only consider New York for a few more months—maybe until next March. After that, I wouldn’t bother going to New York at all. Sadly, the industry is just too much chaos, with publishers demanding too much from authors, and agents doing things that are shameful.

Kelly: Yep. I'm nervous about the conflict of interest with some agents self-publishing their clients' work. I'm sure there are many well-meaning folks out there, but I'd be surprised if more than a few people don't end up with the short straw. Thanks for sharing some of your thoughts, Dave.

At Dave's workshop in June. I'm kneeling in black and white,
Dave is standing, near the middle in a black t-shirt with wings. I think it's wings, anyway.

Anybody else ready to read their first enhanced book? I'm curious about the experience, and the illustrations I've seen are topnotch, along with the excellent story and writing.

And now for questions. Nightingale launches today, and Dave is doing an extensive blog tour, so he wasn't able to pinpoint when he'd stop in, but he has graciously agreed to answer some questions in the comments. So, if you get here before Dave does, leave a question and he'll answer it.

Also, if you check out the contest tab on the nightingale website above, you can learn about Dave's contest (with a $1000 prize) to write a short story set in the Nightingale world, and which will be included in the enhanced version of the novel. That could be a really nice jumpstart to someone's career, methinks. I'm brainstorming:) Happy writing!

"Prized" by Caragh M. O'Brien

2011-10-17T10:25:00.000-07:00

I reviewed Caragh M. O'Brien's debut "Birthmarked" last year, and the sequel is coming out Nov. 8. There will be spoilers for Birthmarked in here, so for those of you who haven't read it, I'll say now that I really enjoyed "Prized."

Back cover copy- "Striking out into the wasteland with nothing but her baby sister, a handful of supplies, and a rumor to guide her, sixteen-year-old midwife Gaia Stone survives only to be captured by the people of Sylum, a dystopian society where women rule the men who drastically outnumber them, and a kiss is a crime. In order to see her sister again, Gaia must submit to their strict social code, but how can she deny her sense of justice, her curiosity, and everything in her heart that makes her whole?"

This book was all about control. Do individuals get to make their own choices or should society be able to dictate partners and the number of children a woman should bear? Does a genetic problem that steadily decreases the number of girls born give society the right to have near-total control over reproduction? Does the need for babies obviate the right (a right according to Gaia's mind, at least) of women to have abortions? And how much attraction doth love make?

Gaia is used to being scorned because of her burns and her outsider status, and that situation is totally flipped in Prized. As a midwife, she's high-status and has two very eligible brothers trying to out-do each other to win her affections, but Gaia can't forget Leon and his brave sacrifice to save her. Or can she? After all, it's not likely that she'll ever see him again.

Prized is well-written and well thought out. I had a few issues-like how are the women in control when there are so few of them? They have archers, but the boys get really rowdy sometimes and there are so many or them in comparison. And if the women are in control, then why is a girl chosen as a prize by the men in their monthly "32 games?" I usually get bored by descriptions of sports in books, (as in real life!) but this game was original and important to the story, so I actually enjoyed it.

Anyway, the society was really interesting and I loved all of the little touches- word usage like matriarch turned into Matrarc, Asylum becoming Sylum and many others. Those kind of details give such a great sense of time passing for a culture and make a story so much richer. Lots of herb-lore and some mid-wifery made it different than other dystopians out there.

Content- very little sexuality- just a few kisses, but be aware that abortion is major issue. I wouldn't say that it stopped me from enjoying the book, because it is carefully treated, with Gaia being very thoughtful about if she should give herbs to a girl that would cause her to miscarry. There's a lot of emphasis placed on the unfairness of society's rules, namely that if the girl chooses to keep the baby, she'll lose all status and bad things will happen to the father, who in the story is a serial jerk, besides. I'll admit that, due to my own very strong feelings against abortion, this was off-putting. I think it would be nearly impossible to place enough emphasis on the long-term consequences of abortion in a novel that only takes place over the course of a few months. It is an action that cannot be undone and cannot be forgotten.

Please forgive me for moralizing a bit, but I can't review this book and let the topic pass by without throwing my 2 cents in. Life is sacred, even if it's not planned or scary or everyone will be disappointed in you. I have too many other friends that are praying and searching for children to adopt to not see that as the best possible outcome in an unplanned pregnancy. Adoption is about love. Abortion is about fear.

You're more than welcome to disagree, but I hope that anybody so inclined will be civil. Thanks to Around the World ARC Tours for giving me the opportunity to preivew this book. Thanks and happy reading!

PS- the interview with David Farland *should* happen on Oct. 28th and he will check in at some point to answer questions. I'll post the interview at 9am EST, so hurry and leave your questions so Dave will see them when he stops in.

Dave is a master of targeted marketing and what elements to include to intrigue what ages. Dave is also self-published, traditionally published, and has started his own publishing company, which has the goal of standing out of the crowd by providing extra content like professional video, art, etc.

Dave has also been the head contest judge for "Writers of the Future" contest for years and a writing teacher at Brigham Young University. Brandon Mull, Brandon Sanderson and Steohenie Meyer have all been his students. Seriously, he's an incredible resource, so ask away. Thanks!

Delay

2011-10-15T07:04:00.000-07:00

The interview scheduled for today with David Farland is being postponed until later in the week, but I'm hopeful that when it goes live, Dave will hang around in the comments for a few hours to answer questions. Sorry about that, although it's Saturday, so I'm not sure anybody's out there anyway;)

Have a nice weekend!

PS- My "s" key wasn't working earlier today, even when I popped it off and cleaned it. Somehow it's working again. Can I tell you how happy that makes me? We're off to a pumpkin farm for a hayride and to pick out a few pumpkins!

Cold Kiss by Amy Garvey

2011-10-13T05:54:00.000-07:00

Cold Kiss by Amy Garvey

I love this cover!

I'll start you guys out with a quote this time-

"Love doesn't break easily, I've found. But people do."

Wren was totally and completely in love with Danny, but he was killed in a car accident. So now her life consists of visiting the injured boy who was driving the night of the car crash, not talking about anything important AT ALL with her mom, and avoiding her two best friends.

Wren can't let anyone into her life because she's made a terrible mistake. The women in her family have special abilities, making their gardens especially lush, and her mother can make fairie lights dance in the sky. Wren can do more. And now that it's too late, now that Danny, or the half-living version that she called out of the grave, is hiding in a neighbor's garage attic, she doesn't know what to do.

Enter cute boy with a special power of his own, one that helps him to break into Wren's private hell and become her friend.

Wren's character is so great. She's powerful, but she's impetuous and short-sighted and makes a REALLY big mistake. Cold Kiss is how she fixes it, and really makes me sure that I won't attempt to raise anyone from the dead. Not even tempted now;)

I really really enjoyed this book. Thanks to Around the World ARC Tours for giving me the chance to read it a bit early, but the book was just released and is in stores now. Also, I checked out Amy's blog, and she's got a great post about the unusual path to publication for this project.

Also, I've got an interview with David Farland set for Oct. 15th. Dave is launching his new YA book, Nightingale, about an alien abandoned as a baby among humans so he'd be raised as one of us. (It's called Nest Parasitism, I think, and lots of birds do that. Like Nightingales.) It's a really cool story, and I hope you'll check it out. I asked some publishing questions, as well.

Happy Reading!

Empathy and Characterization

2011-09-26T05:43:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking a lot about how emotion is a kind of a dance between two (or more) people. A quick story- My daughter was in a bike accident last week (she was going pretty fast and slid on some wet grass and fell on a driveway.)

She was in a lot of pain, but I had a job to do- get my daughter cleaned up enough that we could go to the critical care center for x-rays. My heart was pounding, and my thoughts were a little jumpy, but I was okay. (You didn't think this was about my daughter, did you? No, this story is all about me! ;) Then I stopped at my friend's house to drop off my 4 year-old so I could concentrate on Emma. When she came to the door, I started to explain what had happened and could she please watch Jojo for me?

I could hardly get through the explanation. I started bawling, and all of the fear that I hadn't wanted to show my daughter came out with my friend. After a moment I pulled it together, and Emma and I made it to the CCC, where my husband met us. Emma is okay, in fact the last big piece of scab peeled off her face last night, so she doesn't feel like such a freak. (I think I could have said she was mauled by a bear and that would have made sense to people looking at her. Her left hand is still wrapped up, but she can *carefully* hold a pencil again.)

Anyway, this experience with my friend reminded me that emotions don't occur in a vacuum. Emotions are usually between a person and someone or something else.

Anger- at what?
Love- for whom?
Jealousy- over what?
Happiness- this one is a little harder, but I think that many times when I'm happy, I feel that I've been transported back to an earlier happiness. For instance, whenever I go out on a boat, it reminds me of the times I've gone out on a boat with my family growing up, and I feel a sense of well-being and closeness, to my dad especially, that I don't feel in other situations. Even if he's not there.

As writers, we're told to use relationships and other people's reactions to reveal our main character and make them come alive. I'm just wondering if the reason for that is deeper than a good writing device- is it because that's how we experience the world? Can you really expereince emotions without putting them in the context of a relationship?

Even when I'm alone, my emotions are focused on what I think someone's reaction will be. For instance, say I'm fixing dinner. A script will run through my mind of the last time we had chicken pot pie, how everybody thanked me, those delicious groans as they took their firsts bites. As I predict their gratitude, I happily get to work.

What do you think of my very non-scientific observations? Can emotions exist without a foil?

Daughter of Smoke and Bones by Laini Taylor

2011-09-23T08:54:00.000-07:00

A lot of you have read Laini Taylor, so you already know how amazing she is. This post is not for you. You're already hounding the clerks at Barnes and Noble, asking if the shipment has arrived, right? No? You must be checking your mailbox *again*.

I've read all of Laini Taylor's books- "Lips Touch, Three Times, "Blackbringer" and "Silksinger" from the Faeries of Dreamdark Series. I loved them all (though the Faeries of Dreamdark are written for a younger MG crowd) because of the beautiful writing, the creativity of the ideas, the twists and turns in the plot and the revelation after revelation of the characters' histories. Delicious.

In Daughter of Smoke and Bone, you have my perfect book. Except for the cover, which doesn't evoke any of the feeling of the book and is rather bland, I think. The mask is from a scene in the novel, so it's not totally crazy or anything, I just don't think it does justice to the story. Don't be fooled!

Karou is an art student in Prague, who claims with a wry smile that her hair comes out of her head peacock blue, that the half-beast, half-human figures in her drawing notebook are real. She's discovered that the truth, delivered with that teasing smile, will be hidden better than if she'd told a hundred lies. Because nobody hangs out with monsters and devils. They don't even exist, right?

But they do. Brimstone, a devilish creature part ram, human and something reptilian that Karou likes to think of as dragon, is the nearest thing she has to a family. In fact, her earliest memory is of playing with the tuft of his tail. But there's so much Brimstone won't tell her: where Karou came from, what Brimstone uses the teeth Karou gathers for, or what lies behind the locked door in his workroom. When she asks too many questions, she's patted on the head and shown back to the door that leads to the human world, returned there until the next time Brimstone hears of teeth for her to collect.

But one day Karou finds a handprint burned in that door, and the war that she wasn't told about is suddenly all too real when an angel holds a sword, ready to swing it at her neck. She fights and keeps her life, but she can't stop drawing the fearsome angel with the dead, burning-ember eyes. And she can't shake the feeling that she could make him smile.

I love this book.

Content: The characters are not perfect people. Um, most of them aren't actually people, anyway, but you know what I mean. The book opens with Karou regretting the closeness she shared with an exboyfriend. The monsters nor the angels have much use for chastity as an end, but they do believe in being true to their hearts. Brimstone warns Karou against taking inessential things into her body- ink, drugs, alcohol, and especially warns her against "inessential penises." It's not a lewd book, but neither are the characters saints. I'm not sure that I would hand Lips Touch or Daughter of Smoke and Bones to a young teen, but a major theme of the book is to wait for true love, and the power of hope that such love brings. Which message I really liked and appreciated.

I will be buying this book (release date Sept 24, 2011), and thanks to Around the World ARC tours for giving me the chance to preview it.

Happy Reading!

Self Publishing Guild- Why Not?

2011-09-12T14:15:00.000-07:00

I've taken a break from querying over the summer, working on my YA Egyptian-Queen's-Spirit-Possesses-Pregnant-Teen book (it's just as angsty as it sounds!)

In the meantime, I wait for things to fall into perspective, so I can read Ways To Fall as if it weren't the product of three years of love and endless rewrites, the book that I cut my teeth on, and a story that I don't want to let go of.

I've been so disappointed by rejections, so afraid that my judgment is off, that I'm a crap writer, that my ideas are too cerebral, too out there, and just plain boring. I still have a few requests floating, but as I've mentioned before, I think of them as rejections that haven't happened yet, just so I can get on with my life. I really hope they're not--the agents involved are amazing and I would be so delighted to work with such talented and savvy people.

And yet, I'm scared of publishers. See Androssagency How eBook Royalties are Cheating Authors. Kristin Nelson has stated that publishers are undereporting eBook sales (she does say in the comments that she believes it is due to publishers not having systems in place to ensure accuracy). Passive Voice gives details about royalty statements, lots of examples and explanations. It's so ridiculous that it would be laughable, if it weren't cryable.

So, I'm leery.

I'm sketching some cover ideas and learning everything I can about self publishing (Dean Wesley Smith is a great resource, as is Joe Konrath.) Not because I don't think I can find an agent, although some days I do worry that it will never happen. I still think it would be worth 10% of net income to have a brilliant agent, just to be sure that someone is one my side and motivated to be honest and brutal, in a kind way, if neccesary. I DO NOT think publishers are the boogey man, but I have concerns. That's all I'm saying.

I would love to band together with a group of writers, edit the heck out of each others' work, and rise together out of the flood of crappy self-published ebooks out. I'd like to do chaining, where at the end of each ebook, a chapter by another author is included, leading the reader to begin another book within "the guild."

I can see this as a way that authors could easily expand their reach, without having to devote hundreds of additional hours to networking. Within the networks of the guild, each writer would find a much greater audience. We've all seen examples of authors with traditional publishers doing this- ie Class of 2011, League of Extraordinary Writers, etc.

I think about the authors I've traded crits with, and while several of them have had success following the traditional model (stop by The Green Bathtub and congratulate Amy Sonnichsen on signing with Emmaneulle Morgen at Judith Egrlich Literary Mangement!)and it's a matter of time for the rest, what if we could just do it ourselves?

Dean Wesley Smith posted today on the need to have a large backlist to be successful as a self-published author. I don't have that. I have a few short stories (okay, one, and it needs another pass) on my hard drive and one completed novel. Not exactly the 200 titles Smith recommends. But with a group of ten or fifteen other writers, we could work on manuscripts serially, putting up one a month or 6 weeks, or whatever. We could operate as our own imprint. Authors working with the imprint could keep all proceeds minus some money set aside as compensation to the guild to subsidize the next book's cover art, marketing, formatting etc. I think it would be good to have a limited number of hardcopies to give away as ARCs.

I've heard of some people having success serializing novels, and setting the price point lower, but I worry that that would create barriers for consumers and that you'd lose some readers due to the inconvenience of having to wait for the next installment or to download the next chunk. Still, setting the cost of fifty pages at $.49 might pull in some readers who are willing to part with such small change. Then again, making the first chunk of the novel free might do the same thing, better.

I'm not ready to act on this, but now you know what I'm thinking about.

What am I missing? Any ideas on how to step out of the herd?

Obstacle or Opportunity?

2011-09-07T12:48:00.000-07:00

In theory, there should be more time to write in summer. No lunches to pack, homework to do, activities or practices to drive anyone to. But it's SUMMER. Which means fun family time. In addition to my own kids, I had a niece and my little sister come visit (which we all loved), then an exchange student from Spain (Marcos, we miss you, still). Out of 10 weeks, someone extra was in our house for 7 (Or we were visiting them).

Plus, we're still doing lots of projects around the house (Emma has window treatments and her room is painted, and we FINALLY installed a light kit and no wires are exposed!)

It would be easy-so very very easy- to get frustrated about the distractions of life. I just want to write the scene and be done! Why can't I just have a few hours of quiet???

So, I was given a wake up call.

Last week, I was privileged to become the leader of the Young Women's organization in our ward (or congregation.) In the Mormon church, a person is always given a special blessing to help them be able to fulfill their new responsibilities, called "setting apart." During this blessing, I was promised many things- strength and insight into the girls so that I will be able to support them and love them, and also that the desires of my heart will be realized.

Sometimes my mind feels like it's exploding during blessings, racing to understand, and this was one of those times. What is the desire of my heart? Is it to be published? Is it for my family to be close to the Savior, for all of us to return together to Heavenly Father? I'm a convert, so there are so many beloved family members that I have pined to share my faith with. Do I have to choose between these desires?

I hope not. I'm sure he wouldn't want me to stop loving and supporting my family. Would Heavenly Father want me to give up writing? Writing is about sharing my hopes and optimism for people, it's an expression of love. Right?

And yet, I can't begin to compare how I would feel to fail at the second (family) with how it would feel to fail at the first (publishing).

Which is not to say that I will stop writing, not a chance, but hopefully I won't be so grumpy when the kids interrupt sacred writing time over stupid stuff like somebody bleeding. ("Is your arm broken? No? Is someone going to die unless I come out right now? No? Then go away until my writing time is up. Does that come across as selfish, or is that establishing healthy boundaries? lol)

Anyway, I'm trying to find that balance again. I've decided that Jojo learning letters via Wii internet doesn't count as video game time, and that's made my days a little less guilty with a lonely 4yo at home. He was crying today that Eli (7yo) went to school and can't play with him. Luckily we are starting preschool co-op soon...

More soon. Because school is back in session and the Wii is warmed up and ready to go:)

River of Dreams is Salty

2011-08-24T06:24:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I took two of my kids to the doc for their yearly checkups. My youngest, Jojo, is four and it was time to get his vaccines up to date. Which means 5 shots.

"Jojo, you're going to get some shots today, okay?" Which is not really a question. It's an offer he can't refuse.

Jojo stares at me, his eyes wide with his own peculiar expression of stoic fear.

"I'm not sure how many shots, maybe 3 or 4." The doctor had said they might be able to combine some of the shots, so I was banking on that. "They give you shots because kids used to get a lot of diseases that would make them really sick. But now we get shots and people don't get sick and die."

Jojo is sinking back in the chair as I talk, his shoulders scrunching up higher and higher. I don't stop because this child does better with information. He needs to prepare.

"It will hurt for a minute, like a pinch, and then it won't hurt so much."

Then we wait. After another few minutes, about the time that I'm thinking that I told Jojo too soon, and he's just getting more and more anxious, two nurses come in. They explain that he can only get two shots.

"Isn't that great?" I say. "Only two shots! Lucky boy!"

Jojo's shoulders scrunch higher. I can't see his neck anymore.

I put him up on the table, and the nurses stand on each side of him, preparing to do both at once. I hold his little hands in mine and he lays back on the pillow when the nurse asks him to.

"One, two, three." The syringes go into his arms, his eyes are quick and wide with fear. Not a sound escapes him. His little fingers are warm and limp in mine.

The nurses put on his bandaids and leave, and I pick him up. He's been so brave. He didn't even cry.

I sit in the chair and hold him, and pressing his head against my shoulder. I tell him I'm sorry it hurt. I'm sorry we had to do that.

And he cries. Not loud, not a lot, but the tears come.

When I stand up and set him on his feet a minute later, the wounded look is gone. We go to the desk on the way out, and he doesn't want the nurses to talk to him, but by the time I've checked out, he's willing to give a high five to one and let them see his Matchbox car. He's okay.

Can I work in a writing lesson? Why yes, I think I will.

Querying stinks. Most of us get rejection after rejection. I stopped crying about rejections a while ago. Rejection was expected. Rejection was not a surprise.

I send out letters hoping for the best, but wheneever I open an email from an agent now, I am telling myself not to expect too much. It's a rejection, it's a rejection...and then when it is, I'm not as disappointed. And if it's a request, then I'm happily surprised, right?

Kind of.

Last week it hit me how hard this is, how tired I am of being good but not good enough. I cried for all the rejections I'd been so brave about. And the thoughts started churning.

Why am I even putting myself through this? What's the point? Why not just write for myself and forget being published?

I'm trying to find that magical mental state where I'm motivated to work hard, but not stressed about how the end result will be received. Having some beta readers in the wings helps a little, but I'm feeling kind of paralyzed right now. Still working, but it's hard. There's a lot of resistance and fear going on.

But I've realized that if I don't allow myself to hope, then a lot of the joy of writing gets shut down as well. I can't feel deeply about my writing without being open to the pain of rejection also.

It's a price I'm willing to pay.

How do you deal? Any tips? Head games to recommend? ;)
Have a great day and happy writing!

Goliath by Scott Westerfeld

2011-08-15T07:09:00.000-07:00

Goliath is book three in the Leviathan Series by Scott Westerfeld, and it's one of the most engaging, widely appealing books I've read, ever. In many ways it rivals Harry Potter, including the wonderful characters and the delightful world creation. I have never wanted to sail on a stinky, bilious whale as dearly as I did at the end of Goliath.

Alek is the heir to the Austrian throne, on the run since the night his parents were murdered and WWI began. Deryn is a girl masquerading as Dylan Sharp, midshipman on the Leviathan, the finest hydrogen-breathing, floating-whale airship in the sky. When Alek helped the ailing airship in book 1, it started a collaboration between two young people determined to do their parts to stop the terrible war, whether by using Clanker technology or Darwinist fabrications. They've fought battle together over land and sea, ice and blasted forest, and by book three, they're something more than best friends.

But Alek still doesn't know that Dylan is Deryn, or that through all of their adventures, Deryn has fallen in love. All Alek sees is the kind of friend he's always wanted- a capable, friendly chap that everyone trusts with their secrets. Together they must try to stop the war and secure Alek's position as heir, but Deryn's secret threatens to destroy their friendship and the future of their world.

At his workshop, David Farland suggested that authors include a broad range of ages and both sexes to appeal to a wider audience, and Westerfeld does this brilliantly. It's hard for me to think of anyone I know who reads fiction that wouldn't enjoy these books and be able to identify with the characters. (His Uglies Series, on the other hand, was targeted almost entirely at teens. Which is okay, but if you're looking for a good book with wide appeal, or want to see how to do it, read these books.)

The romance element is conveyed through tender feelings of respect and hope, nothing out of place. There is a kissing scene, nicely done, and I wouldn't have any problem letting my 8 yo read it. Some discussions on powerful, city-destroying weapons and the pros and cons of using them as well, making this recommended reading for future world leaders. And there's a war on, so expect some fighting and some death. My 10 yo has read the whole series, and he loved it, but he loves everything, so take that for what it's worth!

Goliath comes out September 20th, so look for it soon. Thanks to Around the World ARC tours for the opportunity to review this book.

Any other Leviathan fans out there? Thoughts? Happy Reading!

Favorite Summer Reads, Pt I

2011-08-05T06:26:00.000-07:00

#1- The Boneshaker by Kate Milford

Natalie, an exceptionally curious and bright young woman, loves her mother's stories, especially if they feature Old Tom Guyot at the Crossroads getting the better of the devil on his guitar. But the stories turn out to have more than a little truth to them.

When Dr. Jake Limberleg's Nostrum Fair and Technological Medicine Show comes to Natalie's small town in Missouri, Natalie is drawn to find out how Dr. Limberleg's mechanical uncanny automatons work. After all, her dad, a famed (at least to Natalie) bicycle mechanic and tinkerer, has taught her that perpetual motion machines are inconsistent with the laws of nature.

But as Natalie learns more about Dr. Limberleg and his assistants, the Paragons of Science, the more unntural he seems, and the whole town seems not to notice. Worse, her mother has fallen ill, and no one can say exactly what's wrong. Dr. Limberleg promises to effect a cure, but at what cost?

Okay, first thing that drew me in was the cover. Amazing, isn't it? I dream of having a cover this fascinating- the flaming hair and spectacles and Natalie racing away on her bike at the top.

Strangely, the writing didn't disappoint! My husband and 10 yo son read it and loved it also. Which means the library is after us! Gotta go! I'll definitely be watching for Milford's next book! And she has some great literature/sci-fi&fantasy book pairings in her most recent blog post here. Happy reading!

Review of "A Wise Man's Fear" by Patrick Rothfuss

2011-07-25T08:59:00.000-07:00

"A Wise Man's Fear" is book 2 in the Kingkiller Chronicles, which so far involves a middle-aged innkeeper Kvothe retelling the unbelievable story of his youth- his early years as a traveling performer, his studies in the Arcanist University, where he learns how to control sympathy, a type of magic where the bonds between objects are are strong as their similarities and the belief that the arcanist can muster. I keep wondering when he's going to get to the part where he kills a king, but the story moves fast enough that it took a while for me to realize he's got to kill a king somewhere...

The innkeeper, Qvothe, polishes the bar, makes apple pie, and talks about the weather. A lot. He's grown tired of being famous, and of the reputation that he carefully built up. It's all true enough, but I suspect Qvothe has discovered that there is something to be said about anonymity. About being able to live one's life instead of being the vehicle that other people use to experience the lives they wish they could have. That it's not always comfortable to be the hero that they turn to when things go bad...and things are going bad. Strange creatures have strayed from the mountains and the woods, and hapless farmers are dying.

The writing is brilliant, the humor is actually funny, and I enjoyed following Kvothe's adventures, and especially the older Kvothe's commentary on his youthful foibles. This book sucked me in, overriding all common sense and awareness of time. Yes, Nathan found me on the couch at 2 in the morning, wondering how it got so late. I got up at 8 the next morning and finished it.

So, these books are long. They are involved. You are warned. Also, know that Rothfuss published Day 1 in 2007, book 2 in 2011, so be prepared for a bit of a wait for Day 3. They are, in my humble opinion, worth it. See: Quill award, Tor accolades, NYT Bestsellerdom, etc.

Content- Not a series for kids, imo. Day 2 has a rather lengthy encouter with a fae whose purpose in life is to drive men to their deaths with her enthusiastic and mind-blowing sexual encounters. Also he studies martial arts with the Ademe, who view sex as being as natural and expected as breathing, but it was integrated enough into the culture that it didn't seem *too* gratuitous.

Rothfuss masks details behind names of poses, much like yoga or martial arts do. Day 1 had him yearning to have close encounters with women, and in Day 2, nearly all those yearnings are accomplished. I found the scenes vague enough that I wasn't offended- I don't like books to intrude into the bedroom, I can do that in real life, thank you very much. Other content- Kvothe and his buddies drink a lot. Sometimes they even regret drinking so much;) There is fighting and people die. That's about it.

Let me know if you read it!

Review of Ripple by Mandy Hubbard

2011-07-18T07:07:00.000-07:00

I'd never read a mermaid (excuse me, siren, not mermaid!) book before, so I can't say much about how this book stands out from the others, but I really enjoyed it. Fun book, very entertaining and well-written.

Lexi used to have it all: a million friends, a boyfriend, and a life. But since an accident that claimed her boyfriend's life, her ex-best friend leads the anti-Lexi brigade, and Lexi retreats into a shell to protect herself and the people who used to be her friends. Since the night of her birthday party, she has to swim each night and sings an irresistable song, drawing all who hear it into the water with her. She couldn't bear it if she killed again.

The only one who seems to care about her is Cole, the best friend of Lexi's dead boyfriend. He's sweet and persistent as he tries to draw Lexi back into the life she used to have. And it's starting to work. Maybe she can be careful enough to reclaim part of her life. Cole is definately worth trying to be normal for.

Enter Erik, hot new guy at school who has answers to the questions Lexi's been asking about her, um, condition. And he has a curse of his own. He's sure that together they can break both their curses. All Lexi has to do is drop Cole and try to love him. Easy, right? Um, not so much.

I really liked this book. The ending was very fulfilling and I recommend it to folks who like YA paranormal. The cover didn't quite do it for me, something about the model's shoulders, but the book was great.

Content-wise, there are parties where teens are drinking and an insinuation of sex, though that is a matter of interpretation and reading between the lines.

Thanks to Around the World ARC tours for letting me read it!

Teresa Frohock, An Expose`

2011-07-15T05:34:00.000-07:00

So, some history. Teresa and I met on the Online Writer's Workshop for Science Fiction Fantasy and Horror way back on March of 2009, or thereabouts. She was working on this really cool story that featured a kind of medieval fantasy world, yet also contained cell phones. And it worked. Teresa really took me under her wing as I learned to critique, even sticking with me when I overused the word "gel" as in "that scene where the horse lives doesn't gel for me," or "Wow, when the cross flips upside down in that exorcism scene, it really gels." Ad nauseum. Here we go!

Teresa and I at StellarCon. Good times:)

Kelly- Your characters range across gender and age lines- who was your hardest character to write and why? What helped you to break through? (answer- awesome crit partner, right?)

I've answered Lindsay (teenage girl from earth) on several blogs and she was very difficult to write. And it was my super awesome crit partners who finally helped me get her personality down (I knew it! I just knew it!) , but the one I'd like to talk about here is Catarina.

Catarina was incredibly difficult to write, believe it or not. I didn't want to give her an excuse for being evil, but I didn't want her so murky that the reader couldn't connect to her. I probably went over her scenes more in the beginning than any other character.

I needed her darkness to contrast Lucian's better nature. In the end, I finally managed to achieve that subtle twist to her nature that I wanted, but getting her there was a lot of hard work.

Catarina is sooo evil! I kept wanting her to be more like Lucian, to feel bad about what she was doing. Truly wicked!

You mention learning so much about religions and Christianity in particular while writing Miserere. How many books did you read? Was there anything that you read that blew you away?

I lost count of the number of books. I would guess around eight to ten that I read cover to cover and that's not including many that I skimmed for background information. I've got three Latin dictionaries and phrase books, one of which is specifically about Church Latin. I read numerous journal articles too.

The one book that absolutely blew me away was Armando Maggi's Satan's Rhetoric: A Study of Renaissance Demonology. Maggi's analyses of Renaissance treatises on demonology and his correlation between language and possession astounded me. He writes that in a possession, the "'virus' assaulting the mind is the mind itself. In a demonic possession, the mind listens to its own annihilation."

From that point forward, I changed the way I thought about Rachael's possession. I didn't want spinning heads and weird behavior. I wanted my Fallen to be more seductive; they would approach their goals through devious rhetoric, not head-banging violence.

So, yes, Satan's Rhetoric just knocked me for a loop. I'm still studying Maggi's theories. Fabulous work.

Sometimes writers fear losing control of their books when agents and editors get involved. Any words of wisdom regarding your experience?

I had a very positive experience with editors and that includes my agent Weronika Janczuk, who is absolutely marvelous at editing. Before we started submitting Miserere, Weronika made several suggestions to the manuscript. We talked about two or three approaches to Miserere's story, and when I explained the bastions and how they worked, she told me to make it clearer in the manuscript and beef up my world-building.

I added another 10,000 words based on her recommendations and Jeremy Lassen (at Night Shade) recommended that I add more words and clearly explain how Woerld worked. He made some very specific suggestions in some places, and not once did I feel like I was losing control over my story. No one ever asked me to change the main premise; they all wanted more detail in some areas.

No one ever made any unreasonable demands, and both Weronika and Jeremy wanted to see the book sell. So I trusted their judgment and I sincerely believe that their guidance made Miserere stronger.

Talk to me about marketing. I haven't seen you dressed up as your characters or getting your fans to wear chain mail and cuirasses. Did you put any thought into this or what?

Fans?!? There are fans!?! WHERE? *looks around wildly*

Sorry, Kelly. I've had some very positive reviews and some kind words from people, but no fans yet, so we don't have to worry about them dressing up as anything but themselves. I don't do dress up either, I'm afraid.

Meanwhile, good old-fashioned marketing is going on. I am working through the blog tour and that has taken an amazing amount of time, but I really believe it has been worth the effort. And I do want to stop here and thank everyone again for letting me a part of your various blogs for a day. Every stop has brought Miserere before new people and it's been a blast to meet all the gracious hosts out there.

What I do have are bookmarks and some swag in the form of some awesome oversized postcards, which are available when I travel. I'm working on setting up some book signings in my home state; I've got an interview and a review for Miserere coming up in the next issue of Bull Spec magazine; and I've got other nefarious plans boiling beneath the surface.

I hang out on Goodreads and Twitter and Facebook; although, I am going to be pulling back some soon so I work more on my next novel, The Garden. So far, people really seem to be enjoying Miserere, so I’m going forward with the next book in the series, Dolorosa.

I think the thing that surprises me is the amount of work involved in getting my name out there online and in person. It's taken an incredible amount of time to set up blogs and web sites and work all these things into an already hectic schedule.

Every ounce of work has been worth it, though, and I’m looking forward to meeting more people. Maybe someday, I’ll even have some fans.

Oh, you already do! And it's not just me. Jen McFadden has a question for you: Do you have a word count you try to hit every day?

No. I don't stress myself like that. I do try to write something, even if I do nothing more than edit the previous night's work.

Alright, that's it! Thanks For taking the time to come see us, Teresa. You can catch up with Teresa on her blog, on Twitter, and her author page on Facebook.

Click here to read the first four chapters of Miserere for FREE! I loved this story from the first chapter. Let me know if you enjoy it too!

Ask Teresa and Additional Nuggets from Dave Farland

2011-07-07T13:09:00.000-07:00

I'm having a chat with my very good friend and crit partner Teresa Frohock on for an interview late next week. Teresa is the author of "Miserere" by Nightshade Books, which was released July 1st. You may have seen a review of Miserere on Tor!I'll be happy to ask her your questions if there's anything you'd like to know. She's a smart lady and so is her agent, Weronika Janczuk of Lynn Franklin Associates, so ask away.

Now, a few more nuggets from Dave Farland, as promised. You guys are all getting his Daily Kick, right? And you know about http://www.authoradvisory.blogspot.com/, where Dave hosts author interviews via conference call (Elana Johnson, Gail Carringer and Lisa Mangum, an editor at Deseret Books, are recent guests. The archived calls are available as MP3s)

And at http://www.davefarland.com/, you can join a writer's group based on genre and experience.

Dave looks at things a little differently. He really didn't talk much about the mechanics of writing, instead focusing on how the story incites emotion and audience analysis. Good stuff.

From my notes-

• Think about story as an exercise in stress induction/reduction. Put the reader thru hell then pull them back out safely. Writer is the sadist, reader is masochist. Reader has to feel it’s safe stress. You can’t touch the reader too deeply. (ie- He had a friend who read a book about a broken romance, but woman had real life situation, and couldn’t finish reading it.)

• All of us have some things that we can’t handle/too close to home. Conflict too big.

• Some conflicts are too small. Ie- poor little rich kid doesn’t interest him.

• Female writers will sometimes have hero get in an argument and feel bad. Not enough conflict for him. "Feelings hurt" may not be enough conflict.

• You can’t write a story that everyone will like.

• You HAVE TO take your story to a successful conclusion. Slice of life isn’t satisfying. No ambiguous ending! Ie- Inception. He hated it!

• Writing about evil is not the same thing as being a proponent of evil.

• Don’t critique the author, crit the work.

• Ask yourself- How am I different from the other writers in my genre, how am I similar?

• Often a reader will find experiences read in a book more important than real life. Stories are that important.

Okay, that's a cut and paste from my notes, all things Dave talked about in a half hour or so of class.The last point there really made me think- Dave said there were many times in his life that he ONLY remembers in relation to what book he was reading. True for me- I remember reading "Fire" and "Dragonfly" last year at the beach, but not what we ate or if the kids got sunburnt. Is it true for you? Don't forget to leave a question for Teresa. Let's make her work!

David Farland's Professional Writer's Conference

2011-06-20T07:13:00.000-07:00

Or, How Dave Ruined Movies as Entertainment, Too.

Last week, my sister and watched "Second-hand Lions," a coming-of-age story about a young man,Walter's, attempts to find a place in this world after his mother drops him off with his wacko uncles (Best line in the movie is when Walter and his mom first arrive and Uncle Hutch asks the other brother "Did you call for a hooker?") Great movie.

I couldn't help pointing out Walter's first try-fail cycle as he begs his mom not to leave him and she drives off anyway. Later I pointed out how Uncle Hutch is a classic hero- impetuous, brave to the point of foolishness, loves only one woman his whole life, and brings a sword for his enemy to fight him with, because as we all know, a real hero would never take advantage.

At which point she told me to go away. I held my tongue after that, but oh, the plot points I dissected and the tropes I picked out. I can see how it might get really annoying. Dave suggested that we study movies when studying plot because it's so much faster than reading a book. Interesting, right? But it works.

Our class. Dave is standing behind Kevin (guy with gray hair), wearing a black shirt. I'm in the black and white shirt.

I can't cram a whole week's worth of classes into a blog post, even a week's worth of posts, but here are a few nuggets:

1. Editing isn't about subraction. It's about making what you've written better so that it works. Not that you'll never have to cut anything, but if you cut the things that aren't working and forget to replace them with something better, you get an over-edited story with no life.

2. If you ever get a chance to seel rights to Hollywood, don't fall for taking money on the back end. Movies NEVER make money, the money just changes pockets.

3. It's fun to laugh. I've never really gotten to know a group of writers in person before, and everybody was so funny and quick. It was awesome to be around people who can zing your funny bone with a one-liner. We seriously laughed more than we did anything else.

If you have a chance to go to an intensive workshop like this, I highly recommend it. The instant feedback from the group was great. I was a little nervous (haha- shaking in my boots is more like it), but everybody had positive and helpful things to say. Not that you can listen to everybody's advice about how to improve your story, but it's really good to get a range of reactions so you can understand how your story is hitting people.

I made some new friends, some of whom I expect to be around a long time. Dave himself was amazingly generous with his time, and I could feel how much he wants his students to succeed.

And he's hysterical. For instance, early in the week he talked about what twisted advice Hemingway gave, like telling a woman that he always writes standing up. Painters do that, but you can't write like that for long.

Dave gave his opinion that Hemingway said that to thin out the writers that were dumb enough to believe it. Dave said that Hemingway learned to write in the trenches as a war reporter, and possibly felt that if someone couldn't learn to write in the comfort of their nice safe home, then they had no business writing.

On the last day, Dave opened the floor for questions, and expressed disappointment that none of us had asked him what sort of desk he wrote at. His eyes twinkled, and he said that the real secret was to write standing on your head because all of the blood rushing to your brain would really improve the writing. Good times.

On our two movie nights, we watched "Avatar" and the new "Star Trek" and Dave gave commentary on the movies, explaining the hero's journey and plot elements- like the reveals in Star Trek- "Surprise! It's Captain Kirk! Surprise! It's Spock! Surprise! It's Bones!" Tons of fun.

Dave isn't doing any classes for the next few years, but if he starts them up again, I highly recommend heading out to St. George. Plan for an extra few days so you can see Zion National Park and the dinosaur run.

There were writers from all over- North and South Carolina, Alaska, Idaho, Texas, California, Connecticut, Utah, Montana. I could be missing some, but you get the point. Ages ranged from 19 to about 60 years. Almost everybody was fantasy or sci-fi, and there were people literally from all walks of life. Several people who'd worked in Hollywood as writers or producing plays, some teachers, some stay-at-home moms and even a S-A-H dad. Some were already involved in self-publishing online. Some dreamt of holding their books in their hands and nothing else was even tempting.

I'm going to post a few of the "wowsers" comments that Dave made on Wednesday. I hope Summer is going well for you guys! Happy Writing!

Pitch with Katherine Fausset of Curtis Brown

2011-05-26T07:16:00.000-07:00

I drove over to the Atlanta Writer's Conference on Sat and pitched "Ways to Fall" to Katherine Fausset. She's as beautiful in person as on her twitter page, and one of those lovely women who glows during pregnancy. I was her last pitch of the day, so I watched person after person come out of the room smiling and gushing about how nice she is. Then it was my turn. The good news is I wasn't nearly as nervous as I'd been the previous year. Bad news is Katherine Fausset doesn't rep my genre. Ouch.

I'd googled "represented by Katherine Fausset" and found Cynthia Hand, who wrote "Unearthly," which I thought was a decent comparison to my book (although I haven't read it yet, and I realize now it's YA. I requested it from the library, but it came in too late for me to read it pre-pitch. It sounds awesome, though, and I love Cynthia's blog.) I wish I'd had my wits about me and mentioned the book, but I was having trouble thinking of the title, so I didn't. Anyway, if she says she doesn't rep paranormal romance, then she doesn't, and it would be silly to argue with her, right? She did say that the genre is hot right now, stronger than either paranormal or romance alone.

Regardless, Ms. Fausset was very nice and listened to my pitch. I hate talking about my book because of all the world building and no matter how long I practice, the 3 minute version comes out jumbled and long, and people invariably ask "why" questions, and then I have to go back to some worldbuilding that I'd tried to gloss over. Sigh.

Whatever the shortcomings of my spiel, Ms. Fausset seemed to follow it okay and said it sounded very original. Then she suggested that I contact another agent at Curtis Brown, which she said she hardly ever does (Thanks for that encouragement, Ms.Fausset!) and that she would tell her to expect my query, then paused, and I assured her that I had been waiting to query anyone else at CB until after my pitch. At least I did something right!

I was joking with another writer before my pitch that it would be funny to come out of the pitch sobbing just to freak out the people after me, but as I said, I was last in line. Maybe next year:)

Any tips for how I can do this better? I made up some talking points to help me get through the pitch, but I can't seem to stay on track, even after talking to myself in the car for hours.

Happy Writing!

Possibilities

2011-05-17T11:54:00.000-07:00

Last night, I told my six year old to hold both sides of his plate.
"Wouldn't it be cool," he asked, "if our plates could float? And then we would have to hold them?"
That's a cool idea, isn't it? There's not a huge lesson here, but it was a nice reminder to me to look beyond what is, to what could be.

In "Character and Viewpoint," Orson Scott Card shares a writing exercise that he's done when visiting schools to show how easy it is to develop an idea by asking questions.

Do you want the story to be about a boy or a girl?
-A boy! No, a girl!

Ok, then, we won't decide yet. How old is this person?'
-Ten! No, Twelve!

Twelve? Why Twelve? What happens when you're twelve?
-You can stay up later.

Oh? And what do you do when you stay up later?
-Watch TV!
-The good shows!
-Scary shows!

What else can you do?
-Stay up late!

He continues with this exercise until they have a kid who is babysititng and the baby won't stop crying (What can go wrong when you're babysitting?) and he ends up calling an ambulance, which gets there right as the parents get home. Pretty good for fourth graders!

The point is, you keep asking questions. Even ten drafts in, writers should be asking questions. How can these characters have more tension between them? What's the craziest thing that could happen?

How do you develop your ideas? Is it different in rough draft vs. polishing? Do you have a favorite question you ask your story?

Craft Time

2011-05-10T05:41:00.000-07:00

27 days until I go to Dave Farland's professional (that's me! lol) writer's camp. I'm hoping we do some macrame, or take some popsicle sticks and cast off yarn, and voila! We'll have "gods' eyes." (You guys are familiar w that craft project, right? Here's a picture for those of you who never went to summer camp, poor souls.)

Perhaps that's not what is meant by "honing your craft?"

Anyhow, I'm starting to get nervous. Camp runs the 6-11th of June, but because of differences in air fare and a little side trip to see my sister, I'll be gone the 4-14th. Ten days away from my kids and husband. I'm really looking forward to all that writing, but I wonder if I'm capable of standing alone anymore, ya know? Maybe capable isn't the right word, maybe comfortable?

I'd hoped to be done with my rough draft of Book of Breathings before I leave, but that's not going to happen. Well, it might if I get up every morning at 5, but that hasn't been going so well. And I'm okay with that. Because sleep is my friend that helps me not to yell at my kids, who I love dearly:)

Re: querying, I've decided to wait until I get back from camp to send out any more queries. A round of rejections right before I leave would be a bit of a downer. (Not that I've become a pessimist.) I've still got about fifteen queries out there, and one full request. After a few rejections on requests, I've learned not to hold my breath. (Well, maybe I'm a little pessimistic. But not defeated! Never defeated!) And the Atlanta Writer's Conference is next weekend, and I have a pitch with Katherine Fausset of Curtis Brown. I'll let you know how it goes--hopefully not as awkward as last year's pitch:)

Oh, and guess what one of the required reading books prior to camp is? "Story" by Robert McKee.

Done. I told you it was an amazing book that everybody should read;) (The other book is the one on characterization by Orson Scott Card.)

Any happy summer camp memories to share? Tips for making the most of a writing retreat? Whatever!
Happy Writing!

Crazy Town, Query Stats, The Plan

2011-04-20T05:08:00.000-07:00

Kids are home from school. Yesterday I banned them from videogames of any kind for the rest of spring break. It's like the DSIs turn them into banshees, and I can't have that. Not when I'm this hyped up on queries.

Last night the hook on my bathroom wall that holds my hairdryer fell, so I woke up to a loud crash, in a panic. With all that adrenalin, I still might have been okay if I hadn't thought about the queries I've sent this week. Some agent, on the night after Passover, might have sent an email to me at three o'clock in the morning. The thought was killing me.

I fought and fought against getting up, and then my head got really involved in possible fixes in my WIP, Breathings, which project I am excited about again after writing a blurb (per an agent's request about other projects I'm working on!) that makes it sound really... exciting. To me, anyway. It seems like I laid there for hours, just thinking. I finally started counting. Not sheep, or anything, really. Just counting. It worked.

And speaking of counting...
Query stats on WAYS TO FALL-
42 queries sent
15 rejections
7 partial/full requests
2 partials and 1 full out there, possibly being read RIGHT THIS MINUTE

I've gotten one request (for a full!) off of my new query, which I put into circulation last week. I'm starting to query widely and hope to have 70-80 queries out there by the end of the month, and then I'm shifting focus back to finishing the first draft of Breathings. That's the plan anyway. My query finally has that special something it was missing, my first few chapters have been seen by an editor and declared worthy, so I'm not holding back anymore.

I also realized I'd made a few email address mistakes last round. I was going to close out some queries as no response, but I checked the comments on Query Tracker, and it looked like people were getting auto-responder emails that their query had been received. As a result, I checked my sent emails and found that for one query, I'd recorded it but apparently not sent, plus one I'd sent to the wrong address. Point being: it doesn't hurt to doublecheck before marking someone as a no response.

And the partial I've had out there to Ms. Big-time for six months? She just got a new assistant, so I emailed the new assistant, explained I've done revisions and that I'd never heard back, and could I resend my partial? No response yet, but I'm sure that with the pacing problems I've since fixed, it would have been a rejection if they'd gotten to it. *shrugs* We'll see if anything comes of it.

And I'm critting a friend's manuscript, and it's really good. I love that.
Thanks for the support, guys!

What are you up to? Are your kids home from school, too? Pull up a chair and tell me all about it.

Enclave (Razorland #1) by Ann Aguirre

2011-04-18T06:16:00.000-07:00

I loved this book- a great YA dystopian that fans of the Hunger Games will love, plus it didn't feel as hopeless as THG.

Deuce lives in the Enclave, an underground community divided into three groups- Builders, Breeders, and Hunters. And Deuce has always wanted to be a Huntress and go out into the tunnels, fight the zombie-like Freaks (think of the zombies in "The Day After Tomorrow") and hunt food (not described precisely, but I think their main meat source was rats!) Her hunting partner is Fade, a hunter whose always been on the edge of the group because he was born topside and doesn't conform perfectly to the community's group think.

The community leaders set up one of Deuce's friends as a warning to her to stay in line, but Deuce claims responsibility for his supposed crime and is exiled in his place. She thinks she's been given a death sentence, what with the Freaks out to eat her toes, but Fade pleads guilty too, and they are exiled together. Fade leads them topside, where they have to deal with gangs, ever-learning freaks and a post-apocalyptic nightmare. Good thing they're both so handy with their knives.

I LOVED this book. Thanks to "Around the World Blog Tours" for the chance to read the ARC. It's being published in June, so definately check it out.

PS- I also enjoyed comparing how Ann Aguirre wrote Deuce's perceptions of the strange new world topside to a similar situation in my book. Very interesting how familiar it felt.

LDS Writer Blogfest: The Atonement Covers all Pain

2011-04-12T04:00:00.000-07:00

Welcome to the second annual LDS Writers Blogfest!

This year, I and other LDS writers are sharing our favorite talk (think sermon) from our recent General Conference, a semiannual meeting where members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints gather either in Salt Lake City in person (or in front of their computers/TVs) to listen to inspired words.

Watching Conference at Granna's house with our kids plus some cousins.

I chose Kent L. Richards' talk "The Atonement Covers All Pain", and I'd like to share my impressions on this talk and how the atonement has operated in my life.

Regarding his experiences as a surgeon, Elder Richards said:

I have pondered about the purpose of pain. None of us is immune from experiencing pain. I have seen people cope with it very differently. Some turn away from God in anger, and others allow their suffering to bring them closer to God.

Can suffering really bring us closer to God? Doesn't that sound a little perverse? Why can't He just be close to us without pain?

I think it's because we are prone to get stuck in the day-to-day, to focus on all of the things we have to do, instead of who we want to become. We get busy.

I'm not saying that God causes pain, but that He uses all the circumstances of our lives, good and bad, to reach out to us.

Our oldest son, Isaac, broke his leg when he was almost two--a spiral fracture of his femur that was extremely painful (When I write about the sound of bones grinding, I know what I'm talking about!) As I write this, eight years later, the memory of picking him up and laying him on the couch, calling my husband to come home from work, driving to the hospital while Nathan held our crying child in his arms still brings me to tears. There was nothing I could say to a two year old that would make him understand that this would end, that eventually he would heal. We cried with him. It passed.

I don't say that that was an enjoyable experience, or one I want to repeat, but it has brought me to a deeper understanding of the Savior's love for us, because for the first time, I really got how deeply the Savior loves us to take our suffering upon himself.

Isaac has grown into a boy with a kind heart, one with enormous empathy for other's feelings, and I believe much of that empathy is a result of this and other experiences in his young childhood.

(Did I mention he was accident prone as a toddler? He broke his arm 5 days after getting the body cast off. Leg muscles had atrophied, so that wasn't entirely his fault. And there was the time he broke his collar bone by rolling off the bed to escape the Tickle Monster. He sure showed Daddy how fast he was.)

Would I ever wish for similar situations? No. But would I give back these traumas if it meant losing these sweet blessings, the tender heart that my son has developed, and my deeper understanding of the Atonement? No. I wouldn't.

Keep in mind, there are many sources of pain. Elder Richards said:

Much of our suffering is not necessarily our fault. Unexpected events, contradicting or disappointing circumstances, interrupting illness, and even death surround us and penetrate our mortal experience. Additionally, we may suffer afflictions because of the actions of others.

And if you're like me, and miss beloved relatives who have died, this account may be one of the most comforting parts of the Elder Richards' talk:

Thirteen-year-old Sherrie underwent a 14-hour operation for a tumor on her spinal cord. As she regained consciousness in the intensive care unit, she said: “Daddy, Aunt Cheryl is here, … and … Grandpa Norman … and Grandma Brown … are here. And Daddy, who is that standing beside you? … He looks like you, only taller. … He says he’s your brother, Jimmy.” Her uncle Jimmy had died at age 13 of cystic fibrosis.

“For nearly an hour, Sherrie … described her visitors, all deceased family members. Exhausted, she then fell asleep.”

Later she told her father, “Daddy, all of the children here in the intensive care unit have angels helping them.”

Perhaps some of you have had similar experiences. Death is not a one way street, it's more like stepping to the other side of a one-way mirror.

I am so grateful to the Savior for fulfilling Heavenly Father's beautiful plan of salvation and peace. Thank you for reading, and you're welcome to ask questions, etc. I'll do my best to answer. Please check out the other posts:

Annette Lyon: “Desire”
Annie Cechini: “The Spirit of Revelation”
Ben Spendlove: “The Atonement Covers All Pain”
Chantele Sedgwick: “LDS Women Are Incredible!”
Charity Bradford: “LDS Women Are Incredible!”
Jackee Alston: “The Eternal Blessings of Marriage”
Jenilyn Tolley: “What Manner of Men and Women Ought Ye to Be?”
Jennifer McFadden: “Establishing a Christ-Centered Home”
Jessie Oliveros: “Establishing a Christ-Centered Home”
Jolene Perry: “It’s Conference Once Again”
Jordan McCollum: “What Manner of Men and Women Ought Ye to Be?”
Kasey Tross: “Guided by the Holy Spirit”
Kayeleen Hamblin: “Become as a Little Child”
Kelly Bryson: “The Atonement Covers All Pain”
Krista Van Dolzer: “Opportunities to Do Good”
Melanie Stanford: “What Manner of Men and Women Ought Ye to Be?”
Michelle Merrill: “The Eternal Blessings of Marriage”
Myrna Foster: “Opportunities to Do Good”
Nisa Swineford: “Desire”
Sallee Mathews: “The Eternal Blessings of Marriage”
Sierra Gardner: “The Atonement Covers All Pain”
Tamara Hart Heiner: “Waiting on the Road to Damascus”
The Writing Lair: “Waiting on the Road to Damascus”

Query Revision in One Word via freelance editor Cassandra Marshall

2011-04-07T07:16:00.000-07:00

In February, I contacted Cassandra Marshall about reading a partial of "Ways To Fall" and helping me figure out where my query was going wrong. I didn't have a referral, but I'd read her blog some and seen her tweets etc., so when I decided to seek professional help, I emailed her. We did two rounds of query revision.

Here's round one, with Cassandra's notes highlighted (and with her permission!). See if you can pick out the magic word!

Dear *agent*,

*I am querying you because of your interview /client/professed love for blahablah* and hope you will be intrigued by my paranormal romance, WAYS TO FALL, complete at 105,000 words.

Lara, an empath, and her emotionally damaged (How are they damaged?)“sisters” were kidnapped by Mother from their Outsider families and given the gift of immortality. Lara never questions Mother’s policy of suppressing their memories until one sister recalls her life Outside and despairs (Why?). Mother curses the young woman with eternal Sleep, insisting there is no other way to protect Lara from absorbing the girl’s feelings. Lara hopes that if she can understand how Outsiders survive their terrible experiences, she can find a way to truly heal her sisters and save their fragile, Edenic world.

Defying Mother, Lara enters the sacred caves and is transported to a sinkhole-turned-crime-scene, where she is arrested by the FBI (You might want to mention the transition into the “real world” or the “other dimension” or whatever you’re using to signify the different worlds. Without it, the premise sounds like “Mother” is nothing more than a brainwashing kidnapper, like the old guy who kept his daughter and her kids in the basement for all those years. Clearly mark her world as not the same as ours.)as a suspected kidnapper. Agent David Hatton, an emotionally detached (Why?) behavior specialist, is fascinated by the way Lara’s skin changes colors in reaction to his volatile partner’s emotions.

He fears Lara will die (Why?) if he can’t isolate her, so with FBI approval he fakes a rescue from the field office (He what? Rescues Lara? Does she need rescuing of the FBI is okay with it?) and orders the squad to keep out of Lara’s perception range. Lara and Agent Hatton hike through the quiet woods of North Florida, and their tenuous friendship develops into a soul-deep attraction. When Lara must choose (Why must she choose? What happens to force this choice? Why is Hatton’s life in danger? Why is being in “mother’s grace” so important?) between freeing her sisters and saving Agent Hatton’s life, she discovers the cost of falling, both from Mother’s grace and into love.

I am a member of the Online Writer's Workshop for Science Fiction, Fantasy, and Horror and hold a B.S. in psychology from the University of Florida (Does this relate to your book somehow? If not, nix it.)

Per your guidelines, I've included _#_ sample pages [and a synopsis] below.

Thank you,

Name

Address

Phone

Website/blog/twitter

So, I got that back and was like, where's my miracle? (Yep. I'm impatient that way.) I was hoping for some kind of brilliant insight about what I needed to emphasize to grab an agent's attention. Is it the geroth fruit? Should I focus more on the romance? Should I bring out that Mother is Lilith? What do I include?

Answer: Details. WHY? WHY? WHY?

Which is basically motivation. What is pushing the story? For the characters personally and through their relationship to their world. Brilliant! Even if I didn't realize it at first.

I opened up a new document, pasted in the query and revisions, and answered her questions. It was a page and a half when I was done. Then I started at the top and condensed. I eliminated some sentences, sentences I'd thought necessary, but maybe weren't as important as I thought. It was hard.

I got it down to a page, and Cassandra said, "Oooh, much more clear, well done!" She suggested just a few changes: breaking it up into smaller paragraphs (harder to skim over those, she said.) and put Mother's secret identity at the top. Done. Here's the end result:

Dear *Agent,*

Thank you for your interest in my paranormal romance, WAYS TO FALL, complete at 105,000 words.

Mother, a charismatic immortal once called Lilith, rescued Lara and her “sisters” from abusive families in the Outside World. In their secluded world, the girls nurture the emotionally-fed geroth trees whose fruit grants them all eternal life. Lara never questions Mother’s policy of suppressing their memories of the Outside World until one sister recalls her horrible past. Rather than live with the memories of the terror she endured in the Outside World, made ever more vivid by the geroth fruit, the sister chooses eternal Sleep.

Losing a sister devastates Lara, but Mother is comfortable with attrition, provided enough spiritually pure girls remain to nurture the geroth fruit. Mother can always return to Outside to find more girls to harvest the fruit, after all.

Determined to find a way to heal her sisters, Lara defies Mother and enters the sacred caves. She is transported by a mystical light to the modern world, where FBI agent David Hatton arrests her as a suspected kidnapper. Hatton is fascinated by the way Lara’s chameleon-like skin responds to others’ emotions until his partner’s anger nearly stops Lara’s heart.

He recognizes that Lara’s empathic abilities make her vulnerable, so, with FBI approval, he fakes a rescue from the field office and isolates Lara in the quiet woods of North Florida. Hatton answers Lara’s questions about Outsiders, and as he’d hoped, she offers information about Mother. Lara and Hatton’s tenuous friendship develops into a soul-deep attraction.

When the FBI gets in a bloody turf war with the DIA—a rival agency intent on conducting inhumane experiments—Hatton promises Lara he’ll return her to her world even if it costs him his life. Lara fears that if she returns home, Mother will perceive her untamed emotions as a threat to the geroth trees and force her into Sleep, or worse, make her forget how beautiful love between a man and a woman can be. Caught between the two worlds, Lara discovers the cost of falling, both from Mother’s grace and into love.

I am a member of the Online Writer's Workshop for Science Fiction, Fantasy, and Horror and the Atlanta Writer’s Club.

Per your guidelines, I've included [#] sample pages [and a synopsis] below.

Thank you,

Kelly Bryson
(contact info)

I'm very pleased with the end product and I'll let you know what the results are!
It was great working with Cassandra, although now it's killing me not to know which agency she interns for.
Gah! Secrets!

And can I say how ready I am to put this novel to bed? Not *under* my bed- in somebody else's bed. There just aren't enough hours in the day. Speaking of which- thanks for hanging out with me even after I've been so distant:) We're moving into our house, and I have a bazillion projects going on. I've painted and unpacked enough that I expect to be able to return to once a week posting.

Any thoughts? Do you have a query break-through to share?

Happy Writing!

What Emotions Are You Inciting?

2011-03-15T11:37:00.000-07:00

I've been trying to figure out why a story reaches some people but not others. Why you and I could both read the same story but one loves it and the other says, "Meh. It was okay."

Reading a book forces you into another character's head, and they in turn are in our heads, asking us the same questions we ask them. WHY do you believe that? Why would you do that? What on earth are you thinking?

Trying on these characters changes us, and that's part of the pleasure of reading. It's safe. I can follow along with Frodo as he approaches Mount Doom, trying on his courage and determination to do what is right without actually wrestling Gollum for the ring.

Sometimes we'll recognize a character as a kindred spirit. Other characters are more...challenging. Anne Shirley is both to me. When she's yelling at Rachel Cuthbert or climbing a roof to walk the ridgepole, I shrink back into myself. But when she's walking with Matthew in the field or laughing with Gilbert, I'm there, 100%. Why couldn't she just realize she loved Gilbert? Seriously!

I read "Twenties Girl" by Sophie Kinsella a few months back, and it was awful! The MC did the craziest things-like walking into a business meeting and asking a strange man out on a date simply because her Grandmother's flapper ghost wouldn't leave her alone. I was mortified with her! It was brilliant!

I think this is why it's so important to read widely, especially in genre writing. We have to know what emotions readers are looking for. Do they want to be thrilled? Do they want to fall in love? Do they want to live in another world for a while, experience another culture? Do they want to be uncomfortable?

Who would want to be uncomfortable? Lots of people. My hubby and I started watching The Office recently, and cringe through every episode. Steve Carrell gets most of his laughs by making the audience glad not to be him.

Where will your characters go? Will they drag your readers along or entice them?

Allen Wold's Workshop- Creating a Barbed Hook

2011-03-11T10:21:00.000-08:00

Stellar Con part 1- the Allen Wold workshop.

Allen Wold assigned the workshop members to take ten minutes and write a hundred word hook to a story. I arrived late and Allen took me out in the hall to explain that they'd already started and he didn't allow people who weren't participating to sit in. Did I understand?

Me (all paraphrased, of course)- Absolutely. I'm so sorry for interrupting.

Allen Wold- The assignment is to write a hundred words introducing a character, a conflict, a setting and a hook. We can't have spectators, only those participating can be in room.

Me- Yep. *hangs head, feels mopey for missing out*

Allen Wold- So do you think you can do that?

Me- Wha-at? You mean I can write...in there? In the workshop?

Allen Wold- Um, yeah.

We shake hands and I thank him, then ask him to repeat the four parts, explaining that I didn't realize he was letting me stay.

Allen Wold's thoughts (purely conjecture)- Why else do you think I was explaining the assignment to you!?

So, I got a seat on the edge of the room behind a very awkwardly placed column- awkardly placed as in near the center of the room, so in a way, everyone had a seat behind the column. Then we all listened as workshoppers read their pieces and the panel (Allen Wold, Danny Birt, Barbara Friend Ish, Debra Killeen, and Darcy Wold.) commented after each reading.

Here's my first draft-

The needle presses into my finger as I force it through the canvas. I sway with the waves and pull the material tighter, knowing that however neat my stitches, the saltwater wil rot the canvas, same as it rots the lines on our ship.

A cannonball at my father's feet will pull his body down to the ocean floor, same as it had my mother's two years before. The sharks will feed, but I keep my needle moving.

A hundred words in ten minutes is about ten words a minute- not a big deal, right? I was able to string together 60. It was harder than I expected to write on real paper, plus I was all jazzed up from walking in late and feeling embarrassed. But I though it was okay.

The feedback-

My apologies for not including name tags, but I was listening too hard to take notes on who said what, so if I remember, I've included it, but they were pretty much in agreement.

-present tense, REALLY? Never ever use present tense unless it's completely necessary.

-nice detail with the rotting lines.

-Danny Birt commented that he thought the needle pressing into the flesh was going a different direction (like self-mutilation) at first.

-Allen asked me if I'd ever been on a boat, emphasized how important it is to write what you know. Not, he said, that anything was wrong with my details, just to be careful. He also asked if I'd been shipwreked. Yes to boating- I grew up fishing in the Gulf and Keys on my dad's boat (so, for instance, I know how to disembowel a Florida lobster using his own antennae. It's as gross in real life as you're thinking it sounds.), but no to being shipwrecked.

-Someone else commented that perhaps crabs would be more likely than sharks to eat a dead body on the ocean floor. I think I could support sharks- they are scavengers and sharks are found with rotting body parts in them all the time, and I was thinking that once the canvas bag rots, the body would float (I think it takes six weeks for a body to decompose enough to become buoyant. Or is it six days?) Anyway, I agree that crabs sound more likely.

-Several people commented on the fact that there is no larger plot, nowhere to go. It's a vignette, not an intro to a larger story. True.

The revision- (about 200 words)

The needle presses into my flesh as I force it through the canvas. I sway with the waves and pull the material tighter, knowing that however neat my stitches, the saltwater will rot the canvas same as it rots the lines on our ship. No, it’s not our ship anymore. It was never really mine.

This crew won’t straighten their backs and pause, waiting for my nod. I don’t have my father’s steely gaze, his iron arms. Excepting me and this mutinous bucket, all he’s left is his blade, too heavy for my thin arms to wield.

I tuck a cannonball gently between my father’s cold feet, though it matters little whether I am rough or not. When they slide him down the board and he lies down with the crabs, he'll feel nothing. I pull the stitches tight, then tie off. The cabin will go to the next captain, so I poke around for a keepsake to take with me.

There's an old hatbox in the cabinet, and, opening it, I discover letters my mother wrote and other personal affects. I blow my long, tangled hair out of my face. No one nags me anymore to present myself better than a night siren.

My heart doesn't believe that he's gone.

My head believes that crabs must eat, too.

My heart tells me to be gentle with this canvas bundle.

My head tells me to load my mother’s gun.

Allen Wold explained that there's a difference between a hook and a barbed hook. A hook catches the reader's attention and makes them want to read on. A barb turns everything you thought you knew upside down and compels you to continue. It's a flip in perspective, a flip in meaning.

That's what I've tried to do here. The girl is mourning. She's preparing her father's body for burial at sea. She's vulnerable. She's weak.

But she has a gun.

I get what the panel said about present tense being so hard to pull off and usually unnecessary, but I don't know that I'm going to do anything else with this story, and I didn't want to bother. Is that sad? I did try to switch the POV to third person past, and that POV didn't work- the emphasis on "our" was too involved to translate into third, so I left it.

And check out Teresa Frohock's piece from this workshop- it gives me chills! She was asking for anyone else who participated to send her a link, so there may be more on her blog from other participants.

Any thought on hooks vs barbed hooks? What's the best hook you ever read?

PS- I'm sure you're all just as upset as I am about the earthquake in Japan and the tsunamis. If you are looking for a way to help, consider making a donation to LDS Humanitarian Aid. Because they are staffed by missionaries and the church provides buildings and warehouses, 100% of the donations reaches those affected in a disaster. Supplies are distributed to all in need, regardless of religious affilitaion and usually in conjunction with the Red Cross and other secular and government organizations.

The cool thing about LDS humanitarian aid is that they preposistion caches of food, water, and medical supplies all over the world, so wherever a disaster strikes, relief isn't far away (which allowed them to be first responders after Hurricane Katrina and after the Haiti earthquake, among others.) Plus they use Paypal! You can set up a monthly donation in any amount if you want. That's all. End of message;)

Happy Writing!

StellarCon...con...con

2011-03-07T07:29:00.000-08:00

Teresa Frohock and I at StellarCon35. Look at our awesome name badges! This was the first time I've met somebody in real life that I knew from the computer, and it was easier than I expected. It took my brain a few minutes to get it, but I was able to connect all of the openess I have with my email buddy to the real person standing in front of me. We had a blast, but we did not get thrown out of any workshops for snickering too much, as I'd hoped.

I attended the Sat. session, including the workshop with Allen Wold (except for the half hour I missed bc I was late! A.W. was terribly nice about it and let me join in), a Quickwrite panel where teams of writers were given prompts and passed a notebook around, a workshop on making compelling bad guys, and *most* of a character development discussion.

I'll post a little about each class every day this week. But for now, know that I had a great time and thought the convention atmosphere was way more relaxed than the writer's conferences I've been to. And cheaper. Way cheaper. ($30 for a weekend of writing classes beats the heck out of what the SCWW charges for their conference. StellarCon didn't have agents, but if you're just looking to connect with writers and attend some classes on craft, it was great.) If you write fantasy or Sci fi, it might be the way to go.

Plus the people watching is out of this world. And mail-clad. And leather-girtled.

Happy Writing!

Stepping Out, a Plug for Miserere, StellarCon, Query Stats

2011-03-03T13:22:00.000-08:00

This is a week's worth of blog posts in one...
I spend a lot of time at the library because it saves a TON of gas to hang out there until preschool is over. Plus I actually write at the library instead of blogging, etc. Despite this, I don't know the librarians very well. I'm all business on writing days, and when I go in with my kids, we're such a circus show that I don't talk to the librarins except to alert them to the pages that the kids have pulled loose, flaps they've torn, etc. So today I decided to change that. (Have I mentioned that I'm an introvert? This was really busting out for me.)

I told Dee the librarian that I'm a writer, and if she thought there was any interest, I would be happy to volunteer to teach a class on getting started. Basically to direct people to some of the resources that have helped me & answer questions on the basics. I also gave her a few chapters so she could judge for herself if I have anything to offer. I wrote, picked up Jojo from preschool, and we went home.

I had an email from Dee waiting for me asking to read the rest. So we'll see. Maybe they'll take me seriously and we'll do a small class. Not sure why, but teaching is a lot of fun to me, in a way that chit-chatting has never been, and I'd like to give back a little.

Also, I'm so excited to be going to StellarCon in High Points NC this weekend, where I'll finally get to hang out with my good friend, Teresa Frohock. Her book is available for preorder on Amazon. Check out my review.

Pretty cool cover art, isn't it?

And in other news, I've contacted an editor, who is going over my first couple of chapters. Hopefully this will alert me to any issues I need to fix throughout my manuscript, such as my love for variations of "seemingly." We're also looking at the query, since I didn't get the response I was hoping for this round of querying.

What's that? Sure. Here're my query stats:
30 queries sent.
12 rejections

4 partial requests
2 partial rejects

1 full request
1 full reject

Which leaves me with 1 partial out there, and 1 partial I haven't sent yet. And one query to resend because the agent usually responds to every one, and she's well past my query date according to the comments left on Query Tracker.

Anybody else getting crazy ideas out there? Any costume ideas for my first con experience?

Have a great week!

#askagent Conversation Compilation

2011-02-24T07:22:00.000-08:00

Checkout this Q&A with writer and agent at D4EO Mandy Hubbard. Lots of other stuff was discussed yesterday under the #askagent hashtag on Twitter yesterday, but I picked out a few threads about crossover, new adult, and what writing YA means. (I reordered the tweets and grouped them- more time-consuming than it sounds!)

Conversation #1

Kelly (that's me!) says @abenning re new adult- I've got the same question. I didn't see a response in #askagent

Mandy says @Kelly_Bryson @abenning what was your Q regarding New Adult? #askagent

Kelly says @MandyHubbard with MC slightly older than YA, do you jump to adult? Do agents believe in new adult concept or can I call it crossover?

Mandy says @Kelly_Bryson If your MC is NOT a teen, it's probably best t call it adult OR age char down-- comes down to voice.

Mandy says @Kelly_Bryson New adult isn't a genre, just a marketing concept by ONE publisher. So that crevice btwn YA/Adult is tough.

Kelly says @MandyHubbard Thanks! That helps. I think my confusion comes in bc I'm paran rom, but the romance stays at a YA level.

Mandy says @Kelly_Bryson ??? What does that even mean-- romance at "YA level"? There's no limitations on romance in YA.

Kelly says @MandyHubbard I thought of that once I sent the tweet;) I've read Perfect chemistry etc.- just meant that it's not Sookie.

Mandy says @Kelly_Bryson oh, haha. Yeah, YA romance can go all the way, just not be super-duper explicit/erotic, so to speak.

Kelly says @MandyHubbard Whew! I thought I was in trouble there for a minute! Thanks for your clarification:)

Conversation #2

Ashley says- @MandyHubbard @Kelly_Bryson Sorry for late response. ? was if MC starts at 17 but is mid-20s when book/series ends,query as YA or New Adult?

Mandy says @abenning that's really really tough. YA series simply dont go to mid-20s. I would rework it, or call it adult if the voice works.

Mandy says @abenning New Adult is NOT a genre, its is a marketing point for adult books by a single publisher.

Ashley says-@MandyHubbard Thanks for the reply. That's exactly what I needed to hear

Conversation #3

Hannahrhooton says @Valerie_Norris @MandyHubbard Just missed #askagent too (not so hot on time differences). Have burning question. Mandy would u be so kind?

Mandy says @hannahrhooton Sure, go ahead and ask! I didn't quite make it to chat by 6AM either. ;-) #askagent

Hannahrhooton says @MandyHubbard Thank you! I write womens comm fic (agent pitching it likewise) but getting popular online reviews from teens. Should I be ...

Hannahrhooton says @MandyHubbard ...concerned that I've written for wrong market? (I'm 30 and it appeals to me!) Thanks again! #askagent

Mandy says @hannahrhooton HA, i went through the same thing. First thing I had agented was women's fiction featuring 20-something characters #askagent

Mandy says @hannahrhooton thing is, its a fine line, and your char's do need to be TEENS for it to be YA. it could just hve crossover appeal #askagent

Conversation #4

Angela asks@MandyHubbard if you have a MC in the college age, 19-20, does that jump into adult or can it stay in YA, like L.A Candy? #askagent

Angela says@MandyHubbard...i'm guessing it comes down to voice? #askagent

Mandy says@angela_francis well, even voice isn't enough if char is 21+. LA candy is a celeb book, pubbed as YA because LCs fans are YA in reply to angela_francis

Angela says@MandyHubbard That's what I thought too, thanks!

Mandy says @angela_francis FEW YA books set in college sell... both to pubs and readers. Just very hard to pull off.

***

I guess this explains why there are so many YA books set in boarding schools, even in the US, where going to boarding school is pretty unusual! And come to think of it, I can't recall a book set in college. Hmmm. Time to rethink age/setting of my WIP...

I'm officially pro-Twitter. Although I'm not a Twitter pro*wink*, I've now passed the 100 tweet marks and am a lot more comfortable than I was even a month ago. Isn't it cool to be able to sit down on the computer and get a some confusion cleared up? A few years ago, the only way I would have approached an agent was if I was at a conference, and then there would have been a room full of people with their own questions, and I probably would have just listened. Twitter is awesome. Mandy Hubbard is awesome- she probably saved me thirty hours of rewrites by clearing this up early in my new WIP.

Was anybody else enlightened by this?

Happy Writing!

Review of "Red Glove by Holly Black

2011-02-21T14:07:00.000-08:00

So, Holly Black. She's amazing, and I never expected it. I'd read some of "The Spiderwick Chronicles," and while they were good, I wasn't blown away. But "The White Cat" was amazing. Here's my recent review. If you haven't read White Cat, you should stop RIGHT NOW and read it.

Okay. So. Cassel is back at school, angry at his mother for emotionally working his best friend, Lila, the daughter of the head of the local Family. In the Godfather sense of the word. He's attempting to have a regular life- trying to overcome his instinct to look at people as marks in a giant con- until Lila's father and the Feds separately approach him, and both sides have enough leverage to make a less confident kid crumble.

Cassel is just so cool. I said this before, but he reminds me of Sawyer from Lost- a smart, unflappable, twisted character that you root for even though practically everything he does is wrong in one way or another. You just want him to win. Because of his relationship with Lila. Because when he has a choice of what to make his brother believe about their relationship, it's that they go out for pizza every Wednesday. It's unexpectedly sweet and sad at times, and Holly Black has created in Cassel one of the most endearing and interesting characters that I've ever met. Put Cassel in a world of Curse Workers and government regulations of workers, a world where everybody is working an angle- it's a great ride.

I looked at the reviews on Goodreads, and it's pretty much unanimous. Great books, both of them.

For the sensitive reader, Cassel lives in a viceful world, but there is no language and the intimate moments are very much a matter of reading between the lines. It's tastefully done.

Temptation to ePublish

2011-02-18T08:45:00.000-08:00

Are you guys thinking about it too?

There's a growing acceptance of self-epublishing. Check out J.A. Konrath, who is a huge proponent of self-pubbing. Many months ago, I left a comment on his blog that self publishing was all well and good for people like him who've been through the process and know what needs to be done, but that a lot of newbies will end up prematurely publishing out of ignorance, and they won't start with a base of readers like he has, so no thanks.

I'm wondering if I misspoke. I'm still not saying it's the way to go- at this point, if an agent called me, this whole idea would probably evaporate. But some self-pubbed authors are doing quite well. (J.A. Konrath has complied a partial list of authors who are self-epublished and are making money. He gives a lot of details, so check out his blog. It's really interesting.)

If anyone else is getting this meme, make sure you know the whole story. Read this blog by Amanda Hocking (self epublished author who just sold some movie rights to her Trylle Trilogy. Very successful, living the dream, etc.) She basically wants to remind her fans that writing is not a get-rich-quick scheme. She's written nineteen books and self epublished only 9 of them. The other TEN aren't ready, she says, and some of them never will be. Holy crud! That's a lot of dues. That's a lot of work.

I'm kindof a do-it-yourself-er in many areas. I taught myself to install light fixtures and do wiring (the building codes in rural PA were a bit lax, so I didn't need to be a licensed electrician). When I want tile, I put it in myself. So it's natural for me to think "I could do the whole marketing/cover/hire an editor thing." I probably could. Not saying I'd be as good as the people that have been doing this for 20+ years, but I could do something above the rank amateur level. (For the record, my book trailer WAS rank amateur, and just for fun. I was learning about the process because it interested me.)

In favor of traditional publishing, I want somebody objective on my team (agent). I want a second (editor) and a third opinion (??? publishing committee co-chair???), because as a writer, I'm still a baby. I've always loved to write and made little picture books and stories as presents-all that stuff- when I was younger, but it's only been the last two years that I've been serious about it. That's really not a long time.

I don't think this is about rejection for me (I don't feel beat down or fed-up or ready to throw in the towel) as much as it is about wanting control and that I have concerns about the changing market. I think a lot of the ebooks (big 6, I'm looking at you) are overpriced, and that it's hurting those authors to not be able to compete. I also worry that a lot of authors are going to regret selling their digital rights, that many will not have rights revert to them after a specified period of time, etc. Lots of stuff I don't *entirely* understand since I'm not a lawyer, but I know enough to be concerned.

What do you guys think? Have you ever been tempted to go out on your own? Is it all about wanting to have a hardcopy on your bookshelf? (That is part of it for me, I'll be honest.) What am I missing?

Recharge and Query Update

2011-02-16T06:39:00.000-08:00

I've taken a couple of weeks off from writing and read a bunch of books, but I'm almost ready to plunge back into writing "Breathings." It took 30k words to get a handle on the characters (I just figured out that MC's mom is crucial to the MCs oddities), so I kind of want to restart on page one with what I know now, but the other part of me wants to pound out the full first draft. Whatever. The good thing is I'm ready to get back to work.

While I've not been writing, I rewrote my query letter and sent it out to the next batch of agents.

My stats so far-
30 queries sent
9 query rejects
4 requests for partials
1 partial still out, 3 rejected.

This is a little skewed in my favor, because the requests I got were from an agent I pitched, an agent he referred me to, an agent my crit partner signed with, and one was a cold query.

For those of you preparing to query or just curious, here's my query body:

Dear Agent,

I hope you will be intrigued by my my paranormal romance, WAYS TO FALL. The manuscript is complete at 105,000 words and should appeal to older teens and adults.

Lara, an empath, and her emotionally damaged “sisters” were kidnapped by Mother from their Outsider families and given the gift of immortality. Lara never questions Mother’s policy of suppressing their memories until one sister recalls her life Outside and despairs. Mother curses the young woman with eternal Sleep, insisting there is no other way to protect Lara from absorbing the girl’s feelings. Lara hopes that if she can understand how Outsiders survive their terrible experiences, she can find a way to truly heal her sisters and save their fragile, Edenic world.

Defying Mother, Lara enters the sacred caves and is transported to a sinkhole-turned-crime-scene, where she is arrested by the FBI as a suspected kidnapper. Agent David Hatton, an emotionally detached behavior specialist, is fascinated by the way Lara’s skin changes colors in reaction to his volatile partner’s emotions. He fears Lara will die if he can’t isolate her, so with FBI approval he fakes a rescue from the field office and orders the squad to keep out of Lara’s perception range. Lara and Agent Hatton hike through the quiet woods of North Florida, and their tenuous friendship develops into a soul-deep attraction. When Lara must choose between freeing her sisters and saving Agent Hatton’s life, she discovers the cost of falling, both from Mother’s grace and into love.

I am a member of the Online Writer's Workshop for Science Fiction, Fantasy, and Horror and hold a B.S. in psychology from the University of Florida. I currently live in Columbia, SC with my husband and children.

I've included sample pages and a synopsis below.

Thank you,

Kelly Bryson

So, that's it. I'll let you know in a few weeks how it goes.

For those interested, I've read/am reading

The Jane Eyre Affair (smart funny, 4 stars),
The Blue Sword (LOVED it 5 stars. Thanks for the recommend, Myrna! I've requested the second book from the library),
Fever, 1793 (historical kid lit, 5 stars),
Fallen (good angel story, if you're into that),
Fallen Angel (another good angel story, if you're into that.),
Halo (another good angel story, if you're into that),
Before I Fall (contemporary YA, good story, well written, not fantastical enough for me. Too much partying to hold my interest),
The Prestige (loved the movie, the book was different but very good. Would have been better if I hadn't seen the movie), and I've started
City of Saints and Madmen (on pg 10) and
The Ranger's Apprentice (just starting, but my 10 yo says, "It's amazing! You have to read it Mom!").

Happy Writing!

It Was a Dark and Stormy Night Contest

2011-02-07T16:49:00.000-08:00

My apologies for posting so late today, but I had to participate in this contest from Brenda Drake Writes. Sick kids home from school- you understand, right?

Here's the first line of my paranormal romance, WAYS TO FALL.

My small lantern—one of many things Mother had salvaged from the Outside world—made a halo of light around my feet.

I'm looking forward to exchanging crits with you guys! Thanks!

Review of "The Demon Trapper's Daughter" by Jana Oliver

2011-02-02T06:59:00.000-08:00

Released February 1st!

Several things impressed me about this story, but here's the setup: Seventeen year old Riley wants nothing more than to follow in her father's footsteps and become a demon trapper, but there are several good ol' boys in the guild who think that demon hunting is not appropriate for little girls. Or any girls. But she's got good instincts and with her renowned father to guide her, she can take down a level one or two demon at an age when most girls are looking for an after school job and a boyfriend. Not that she would mind a boyfriend. Sigh.

When her dad and his apprentice are tricked by demons working together (something unheard of and against their nature) her father dies, leaving Riley with a load of debt, demons that somehow recognize know her name, and an old crush that doesn't understand that she's not a little kid anymore.

First thing I loved: Den, short for Denver, is her father's hawt apprentice and Riley used to like him, ages ago. Their strained relationship is great. I love that Denver is a bit of a bad boy who actually does some bad stuff! He's sweet to Riley, much like an older brother, but his personal life isn't so pretty. He drinks, used to smoke before the prices got too high, and he picks up girls in bars. So many YA books have bad boys that only talk tough, but Denver is a perfect mix of light and dark characteristics.

Second thing I love: Riley is tough without being so self-assured that she's unrelatable. She's like Bella meets Lara Croft. Her voice was really strong and I liked spending time with her.

As far as content goes, Den drinks, there are a few scattered curse words. I'd still rate it PG-13. There is a scene where Riley gets sent by her jerk guild master to sell some captured demons in an adult bookstore, and Riley sees some things that make her eyes bug out, but it's presented to the reader mainly through allusions and her reactions(disgust), not a painted picture. I wouldn't give this book to young teens for that reason.

Thanks to "Around the World ARC Tours" for providing this ARC!

Welcome to the Next Level!

2011-01-31T05:43:00.000-08:00

Reading Elana Johnson's blog on feeling left out today, especially the comments, I was struck that a lot of people are looking for crit partners, beta readers, etc. So, today I'm opening the floor to you guys.

What do you write (genre/word count/20-30 word blurb)? What kind of feedback are you looking for?

I've found it helpful to trade small samples of writing- a query letter plus ten pages or so and see how things go instead of jumping in with a crit partner that you may not "get" and may not "get" you.

I don't remember when I found out that CS Lewis and JRR Tolkien were friends, but it still surprises me (in a good way) that two of my favorite authors were in the the Inklings, a writer's group that met weekly in The Eagle and Child, a pub referred to as The Bird and Baby. Fyi- I'd like to rename my blog Bird and Baby, but it's kind of an obscure reference, so I'm holding off...for now;)

Would they have become as good as they were without that friendship and the feedback? Or were they two great writers that would have been just as good without their association? I don't know.

None of our crit partners are going to be perfect- Tolkien told Lewis that the Narnia series would be never sell, after all, but it is my opinion that if we keep trying, we can find writer friends that will help us reach the next level by encouraging us to produce the very best that we're capable of. And maybe we can help them, too.

In the comments, please tell us what you write. If you're looking to connect with some fresh faces, let us know.

Aslan's Land, The Other Place, Foo and The Grey Havens

2011-01-25T08:09:00.000-08:00

When a writer attempts to describe an "Otherworldly" world, it can be difficult not to sound like the description of just another foreign city. There has to be something unique beyond sights, sounds and accents.

Okay, usually accents aren't our first thought. But what would the accent in Heaven sound like? Brittish? Americans love an English accent.

"G'day, Guvna," the firey angel said. "Just mopped that bit of Golden Street. Kip around that puddle."

Irish would be even better (If you don't believe me, watch "P.S. I Love You"), but they wouldn't say "Guvna."

Sailing to The Grey Havens. It is shockingly easier to find LOTR art in comparison to my other examples.

You'd think Narnia would have some art, but I couldn't find any.

So, straight from some of my fav books, scenes from other worlds:

From "The Last Battle"-

"Those hills," said Lucy, "the nice woody ones and the blue ones behind--aren't they very like the Southern border of Narnia?"

"Like!" cried Edmund after a moment's silence. "Why they're exactly like. Look, there's Mt. Pire with his forked head, and there's the pass into Archenland and everything!"

"And yet they're not alike," said Lucy. "They're different. They have more colors on them and they look further away than I remember and they're more...more...oh, I don't know..."

"More like the real thing," said the Lord Digory softly.

From "Ptolemy's Gate" by Jonathan Stroud-

She found herself in--well, in did not seem quite appropriate: she found herself part of a ceaseless swirl of movement, neither ending nor beginning, in which nothing was fixed or static. It was an infinite ocean of lights, colors and textures, perpetually forming, racing, and dissolving in upon themselves, though the effect was neither as thick or solid or as a liquid nor as traceless as a gas; if anything it was a combination of the two, in which fleeting wisps of substance endlessly parted and converged.

Scale and direction were impossible to determine, as was the passing of time-since nothing remained still and no patterns were ever repeated, the concept itself seemed blank and meaningless. This mattered very little to Kitty and it was only when she attempted to locate herself, with a view to establishing her place in relation to her surroundings, that she grew a little disconcerted. She had no fixed point, no singularity to call her own; indeed, she seemed often to be in several places at once, watching the whirling traces from multiple angles. The effect was most disorienting.

I love this cover and these books. I think the swirls might be essence from the Other Place?

From Leven Thumps and the Gateway to Foo-

The front door to Amelia's house opened without anyone touching it.

"How did--?" Leven asked.

"Doors know what to do here," Geth explained.

Leven slipped out of the house and into Foo and knew, without a doubt, that he was dreaming. He had never seen anything like what he saw now. Not only that, but he could see it clearly; his sight was perfect. Mountains and Valleys and rivers and foliage filled his view, but they were nothing like what he had left behind in reality. The sky was bright yellow near the ground and purple at its crown. Creatures he had never seen, and would have been unable to imagine, ran across prairies of long orange grass that blew in the wind. He could see incredible darkness to the north, and behind that, thin pointed mountains that loked as if they were moving. A river of deep blue water spilled across his view, creating waterfalls in at least twenty different places. The clouds were shaped differently, the air seemed to glisten, and if Leven wasn't completely wrong, he could have sworn he saw a person flying at a distance.

"Wow,"he gasped.

...Leven went back into Amelia's house and to a short couch that sat in front of a roaring fire. The fire was not only burning but singing softly...The fire sang softly and the windows dimmed nicely as Leven experienced his first dream in a place where there was nothing but.

You miss a lot of the detail in this small file, but this cover is gorgeous. The drips of water running out of Leven's hair are amazing, as is little monkey guy on his back. I love this book, and sadly, book two was on the floor in the bathroom during our recent flood. :(

And from "The Return of the King"-

The sails were drawn up and the wind blew, and the ship slowly slipped away down the long gray firth; and the light of the glass of Galdriel that Frodo bore glimmered and was lost. And the ship went out into the High Sea and passed on into the West, until at last on a night of rain Frodo smelled a sweet fragrance on the air and heard the sound of singing that came over the water. And then it seemed to him that as in his dream in the house of Bombadil, the grey rain-curtain turned all to silver glass and was rolled back, and he beheld white shores and beyond them a far green country under a swift sunrise.

I don't know about you, but I've got some goose bumps. The thing that struck me about these examples is how different they are, in purpose and in description.

Stroud's description's of the Other Place make it seem kind of scary, an alarming place to be, while Lewis' description of the New Narnia reminds the reader of the longing that is still felt even in your favorite places in this world. Foo is a land of dreams and infinite possibility, a place where the ridiculous must be accepted. And The Grey Havens is a place of endless rest for the weary.

The hard thing about describing other worlds is that we are limited to the words that apply to this one. Often authors will refer to dreams- either to say the new world is the dream, or to say that the world they left was the dream and the new world is reality. Or they will compare it to sublime experiences in this world- to moments of disorientation like waking from sleep. In the New Testament, Paul gives a beautiful description that is too perfect not to bring to your attention:

1 Cor. 13:9-12
9 For we know in part, and we prophesy in part.
10 But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away.

11 When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.

12 For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.

I love that.

A key to selling a new world to the reader is the character's reactions to it. All of these characters have deep reactions to what they are experiencing, and their reaction becomes the reader's reaction. I'm right there with Frodo, longing for peace and a good nap!

What have I missed? And what's your favorite "Other World?"

A Kiss to say Goodnight

2011-01-20T07:27:00.000-08:00

Last night as Nathan and I were going to sleep, I realized we hadn't kissed all day. We're an affectionate family, and it's rare for us to walk by each other- including the kids- without some kind of squeeze, so I was bothered, as much as you can be when half-awake. Nathan falls asleep really fast, and he was already on his way out, but I said, "I don't think we kissed today."

No answer.

Then he sat up and kissed me, a sweet kiss that he put some thought into. It was like our first kiss all over again. Except better, because our first kiss was actually kind of awful. (I claim responsibilty for that- I was so nervous! This amazing guy actually wants to kiss me?)

Then he laid back down and was totally out in thirty seconds.

Yesterday we sopped up gallons of water off our floor together without a harsh word, I watched him hold our feverish youngest as I ran out the door to go to my Cub Scout meeting, and he hardly even got mad at me over a $40 library fine (I'm still going to find that missing book, so it's actually half that!). Four kids, eleven and three-quarters years of marriage later, we're still capable of a "first kiss".

As a writer, I'm always on the look out for what makes strong emotions, the tics people have, what motivates them. We can only write what we understand, after all. But I won't be writing about that moment and turning it into someone else's scene. It's all ours.

Sitting on my hands

2011-01-19T11:54:00.000-08:00

So, I'm waiting. I hate waiting. And I haven't even started the querying yet- I've got a few typed up and I'm waiting to hear back from a few crit partners (This post is not a subtle shove in the back, critters. I really, truly want you to take your time.) I just want my book to be free of those nagging issues that bother a reader after they finish a book.

It was a good book, but...

...the MC had to be an idiot to go back for the cat.

...what about the giant squid in chapter 3? Did it make it back to the aquarium in time? (Disclaimer- there are no actual squid in my book, although they are mentioned. Did you know squids change color based on their emotional state?)

...that ending was all wrong! Wrong, I say! I wanted to rewrite the end of "Graceling" for that reason. Give me a happy ending and no loose ends!

I woke up this morning (in our upstairs bedroom) and the carpet was squishy. I vaguely remembered my little guy crying a few minutes before, so I thought, in a dream-like stupor, that he must have spilled some water in my room. And the I took another step into the bathroom and the bathmat was under water. Oh, schnikeys.

(Quick explanation: We've purchased the house from our inlaws, but they're not closing on their house until later this month, so until then we're cruelly denied use of the master bedroom. *wink* Thus, we share a Jack-and-Jill bathroom with our kids.)

It's one of those things where a few small errors add up into a big error.

Error 1- the flapper in the toilet doesn't always seal. I keep meaning to replace it, because it wastes water, but it never made it to the top of the list.

Error 2- The toilet has stopped up a few times recently for no good reason. We thought it was just a weird thing, I added more salad to everybody's plates, and thought we were good. So wrong.

Error 3- Not sure what the third error was. Nathan kept saying he should have gotten up to work out and then this never would have happened, but I think that's not really an error as much as a lucky break missed.

I think this flood was the universe telling me to get back in line or it'll give me something to really be worried about.

The kitchen ceiling is damp, but I think it's going to be okay with some paint. And the carpet is unfortunately surviving, too- I've used our spot remover vacuum to suck about three gallons of water out of it. I'm going to buy some Kool-aid for the kids and start shopping for hardwood floors.

Anyhow, between the flood and my poor kids with their raw noses and sicky-coughs, I'm not getting too much done. Oh, well. Distraction is good today! I'm going back to sitting on my hands!

This Old House and Goals

2011-01-11T13:27:00.000-08:00

Recently, Donna left a question in the comments.

I am desperate to finish a goal, I almost never set a goal because I fail every time....any ideas?

When we were renovating our former house, it was a bit overwhelming to think of ALL of the things that needed to be done. I learned that if I broke it down into little steps, I wasn't so nervous about it.

For instance, "Renovate the bathroom" is a lot more likely to give me heart palpitations than "unscrew the old toilet paper holder and throw that piece of chipped chrome junk away." I also found that when I had a Dumpster delivered, it was easy to find old paneling and carpet to fill it with;) Maybe the same part of me that loves my prybar loves to cut ten thousand words.

For those of you who would like info about how to set goals, I'd recommend your goals to be S.M.A.R.T.

S-Specific
M-Measurable
A-Attainable
R-Realistic
T-Track Results

I could describe all of this here, but you can read about it at Goal Setting Guide. I don't have much to add to that (I found this website when I was checking my acronym.) Instead I'll share the little steps that turned me from a dabbler in writing into a writer and some links to resources that helped me.

I started writing a little most days. Sometimes I wrote a hundred words, sometimes four thousand. But working consistently got me a rough draft 110,000 words in length in four months.
At that point I realized I didn't know how to turn my ugly manuscript into a polished novel, so I found a critique group. I tried the Online Writer's Workshop for Science Fiction, Fantasy and Horror, mainly because it had a free month trial period, and at the end of that time, I was very happy with the critiques I was getting, so I paid something like $40 to become a member. I've heard good things about Backspace, and Nathan Bransford, an ex-agent and blogging demigod, has a forums area on his website with critiques and helpful info.

A critique group is a great thing because then you can set regular goals for submitting (a chapter a week, or whatever), plus reading and critiquing other's submissions develops your inner editor. The best thing I did was to read the crits other writers wrote, especially for submissions that I thought were in good shape. It helped me to take my own writing up a notch.

I started a blog, and this led to friendships with other writers. It seems simple, but leaving comments on blogs eventually led to making online friends. This site doesn't get a million hits a day, but it fills my need to have contact with other writers, plus blogging has led me to some excellent beta readers. Beta readers are daring folks who read your manuscript and critique the whole entire thing, bless their souls! ;)

I also tried the local writer's group, but it wasn't very active, so I'm grateful that the online writing community is so welcoming. Maybe your area has a rocking writer's group, so do an internet search for writing groups or writing conferences.

The next thing I did was to go to a conference or two, and at the Atlanta Writer's Club I was able to pitch to an agent, which led to a partial submission and two referrals for my manuscript. I studied blogs on querying and sent out a few query letters. That led to some feedback from agents, which I have finally finished addressing.

A good way to find agents is the Querytracker website. The basic agent search services are free and they have a great tracking tool so you can stay organized and know who you've contacted, how quickly they typically respond, etc. I also follow agents on Twitter, and I highly recommend this. Blogs and agency websites have great information, but it is often heavily edited. Twitter is more relaxed, so you can get an idea of an agent's personality and personal life. Like if they're always talking about what jerks people are, you might want to know that they're negative going in, right? Also, check out Predators and Editors to find out if your agent or publisher is legit. There are a lot of scammers out there, so be careful.

It still seems like a huge goal to get an agent- I'll have to send out dozens, if not fifty to a hundred query letters, and this book may or may not get picked up. If it does, there may (lol!) be revisions before I even get an agent. Then more revisions, then my agent will submit to publishers and then contracts, publicity and more.

It's a lot. Focus on what you will do today to reach your goals, what you will do over the next month, the month after, the month after.

And don't be discouraged if it takes longer than you planned. After my first draft, I thought I would need a few months to get it in shape and then I'd be ready to query. Boy, was I wrong. I spent twenty seven months actively writing and editing my first novel. If I'd given up at seven months, I would have missed the lessons in craft I needed to learn. I'm still learning.

Finally, Donna, I saw all of the Christmas decorations in your pictures on your blog. Anybody that has enough patience to put that much garland up can write a book. Some dreams take longer, but they can still be reached. In the case of my old house, we reached our goals right before we sold it! May the same thing happento our stories, right?

May I suggest a book called "Writing Down the Bones," by Natalie Goldberg? It's a collection of essays about how writing can help you be a whole person. It's very inspiring and makes you want to grab a pen and get to work. I read it in college (and I've heard of many people using it in highschool writing classes) for a creative writing class, which was about ten years ago now. The goodreads blurb on it says it is borderline erotic, but I don't remember that. I remember the "live in the now", "Write because you are alive and the world is beautiful" kind of feel to it. She brings Buddhist philosophy into it a lot, and I thought it very helpful. So, I cautiously suggest that book.

Any other suggestions? How did you change from dabbling to being a writer? Or were you always a writer?

Flashback Folly

2011-01-06T08:41:00.000-08:00

This reminds me of that time, shrouded in the mists of memory...Had enough?

There are some mixed feelings on flashbacks.

Flashbacks Suck Because They:
-break the narrative flow
-slow down the action
-are a sign of lazy storytelling. See also Dream Sequence, Prologue

Flashbacks Rule Because They:
-give backstory depth
-can double the impact of the climax

I've been studying a few books that do flashbacks well, Possessing the Secret of Joy by Alice Walker, Fire by Kristin Kashore, and The Sword Edged-Blonde by Alex Bledsoe.

I wrote this post, and then decided a summary at the top would be helpful. Details from the books are below.

The information must be extremely important to the main story. No distracting the reader!
Don't flashback until the reader absolutely is dying to know what happened to caused the character's present situation.
Anchor the reader in place and time. Be very clear when you leave the present time.
Be smooth. Use details form the present to carry the reader into the flashback.
Once the necessary information has been presented, get out!
Flashbacks can be more effective if the story arch of the flashback and the main plot climax at the same time.

My example books present flashbacks differently, but all are well done.

In Fire, Lady Fire is a Monster, a person with bright, unnaturally red hair that draws people in like moths to a flame. Her father, Cantrell, was also a Monster, and he used this power to control the king and nearly destroy the kingdom. As a result, Fire's history with her father is very involved, affecting the way people in her present time interact with her and how she makes decisions. This is key. You can't have flashbacks just to have them. They have to matter to the reader in the present moment.

In Fire, these flashbacks were integrated into the narrative, little chunks anywhere from a paragraph to a few pages in length. Kashore always set up the reader with hints, miniflashes and hooks that prime the reader.
Remember, lead the reader to ask questions, then answer them just enough in the flashback.

Here's an example of how to lead the reader into a flashback from The Sword-edged Blonde:
Eddie LaCrosse, a sword jockey with a lot of facial hair, is asked to investigate a missing persons case in the country he voluntarily exiled himself from twenty years previous. Eddie doesn't yet know what the case is about, but he's been brought to a castle and is being ushered to an audience with the king when one of the guards at the gate "started to say something, then stopped and stared as if I'd grown another nose. Then he turned to Anders. 'Is that--?'
'Yeah,' Anders said quickly"... "'And we don't want to keep the king waiting.'
Then they assure Eddie they'll take good care of his horse, and adds, "Sorry about that 'fuzzy' crack. No harm done, right?" and the door is shut behind them.Then Eddie turns to his guide, Anders and says,
"What the hell was that about?"
"They knew who I'd been sent to fetch. People stil talk about you here."
"They do," I repeated. My stomach fell into a pit and I was suddenly queasy. "What do they say?"
A spark flared to life in the darkness, and then a torch burst to life. Anders held it at arms length while the harsh residue burned away. "They talk about that day at the lake, when you fought all those guys," Anders said as he waited for the flame to settle. "Whenever someone's facing odds like that, they call it 'getting LaCrossed.'"
"I can think of a few better words for it." Failure came to mind.

Okay, none of this is a flashback, but it's raising questions for the reader. There are repeated mentions of that day, clues about how he failed, but we don't get the larger picture until page 147, and we don't the full picture of why Eddie left Arentia until page 197, right at the climax of the book.

In "Possessing the Secret to Joy", a woman is haunted by the life she left behind in Africa. She's a broken woman, and the reader can guess pretty early in the book that some terrible tribal initiaion ruined her, but we don't know what happened, not exactly. Walker writes in first person, and shifts between Tashi, her husband Adam, plus some scenes from his son by another woman, and the other woman. Then Walker also shifts back in time, although the flashbacks are mainly in Tashi's POV (if not all; I've already returned the book to the library so I can't double check that. Sorry!)

This is a lot for the reader to orient to, and Walker does some interesting things to help. She labels each chapter simply with the perspective character's name. No chapter title, just the name. And she is very careful to hook the reader at the end of the present scene, then use that hook to pull the reader into the flashback. Like with a chicken that Tashi is terrified of. She paints the chicken on the wall and collapses. Her psychiatrist and husband have no idea why she's painting this bird and they talk about how they're stumped. So the reader wonders, too. Then you see what happened from Tashi's eyes. It's a great technique, because it makes the past seem so real.

I learned a lot studying these books, but I want to throw a word of caution out here. "Possessing the Secret of Joy" was a tough tough read. I was depressed for a few days afterward. It was that awful. Not that Walker was out of line, it's just such a disturbing topic and she made it feel so personal. Also, I caution sensitive readers that "The Sword-edged Blonde" is not a church book club nominee because of the ribald humor and some sexual situations. It's well-written and funny, and the flashbacks are amazingly well done, but if that sort of thing makes you uncomfortable, then I'd keep looking. There. I'm done.

Anything to add? Any other great flashback books?

Happy writing!

How to Eat an Elephant?

2010-12-31T10:23:00.000-08:00

Please excuse me for getting a little personal here- I'm working on some posts about flashbacks and pacing and a brilliant post about how I got my agent...I'll let you know as soon as I work out the details on that one! But for now, a bit about writing and how being a Sunday school teacher gave me a little push.

I started writing a few years ago as a result of being a teacher in the Young Women's organization at church. The girls, 12-17 years old, all participate in "Personal Progress," a program with hundreds of activities designed to develop different virtues. These activities could be anything from reading the scriptures daily and recording what they learn to learning a new skill.

In addition, the girls are required to complete a ten-hour project for each of these virtues, and I'd often ask the girls about their progress. As a teacher, I was encouraged to work on my personal progress alongside the girls, and that was why, when an idea flashed through my brain, I picked up a pen and wrote it down. I already had the goal in place and the time had come to act on it.

Two years after beginning to write in earnest, and four years from that first sketch, I realize that my little idea has taken slightly more than ten hours to develop!

It can be done, and here are some things that have helped me.

Track your progress. Whether you use a star chart or a marker on your bathroom mirror, write down your goals and what you do each day to meet that goal. It doesn't have to be number of words- that only worked for me for the first draft, but perhaps an amount of focused time? Perhaps it will be to mark up so many pages a day with tiny scribbles that seem perfectly legible until you try to decipher them a week later.
You can write a paragraph in five minutes, and eventually you'll fill a book. It adds up. So don't waste your spare moments. Sometimes they're all we get.
Eliminate the junk. I don't mean that you can't allow yourself to enjoy some leisure time- even TV can can be a nice break- but if you want to write, you have to give yourself the gift of time to write.
Don't get upset if you mess up. Start again. Say it with me: Today is the first day of the rest of my life!

How do you stay focused on your goals, whether writing-related or not?

I hope that you all have had a wonderful 2010, that this coming year will find you well and happy. Enjoy this video--it got me a little pumped!

Sane, Who Me?

2010-12-10T10:51:00.000-08:00

It's that special time of year when we put on some weight, freak out because the scotch tape roll was full yesterday and now everyone is running around with their noses taped to their foreheads and there'll never be enough to wrap these presents, and I just set down the scissors, where did they go?...No! Don't unwrap the presents yet! (true story)

It's been very interesting around my house, and I'm sure things are a little hectic for you, too. That's life, right?

My main defense against stress is to stop doing stuff. I resist *most* attempts to get my kids into extracurricular activites. Good luck to my husband in getting me to the store for a new can of shaving gel if we still have toilet paper.

But we can't not decorate the house for Christmas, or skip our church Christmas party. We spend hours and mind-numbing hours making a present list and shopping, then wrapping all of those items. I feel every one of those minutes. It irks me if I don't make a certain amount of progress every week on the book. I don't mean to be irked, but I am.

Here's the thing I have to remember: It's not all about me. It's about my family, it's about reconnecting with friends and taking the time to show people that they are important. Again, because sometimes I'm incredibly focused on what I want to accomplish: It's not about me.

I should get this since I'm all about quality time (Have you guys all read "The Five Love Languages"? I think that's the most widely read relationship book ever. Great read, btw.)

Some days I feel so grinchy that hubby starts singing the Grinch song to me, and I deserve it, i.e.- I griped about having to put out stockings. So, in order to be a nice, happy person during the holidays, I have set some modest goals.

Kelly's Modest Goals:
1. Do not lose your book. (I warned you they were modest!)

2. No querying in December. Better yet, wait until Jan 15th, after the rush of "New Year's Resolution" queries.

3. Cut back on the internet and use that time to write. Sorry guys. If I have to choose between checking facebook or using that time to get through a few pages today, I have to get a small amount of writing done.

4. Say "no" to some activities. I don't like to say no, but it's good idea.

That's it. No pages per day, no waking up at five for me right now. I tried that on Monday and Tuesday, and after the third snooze alarm, my hubby was not full of Yuletide cheer, so I turned the alarm off.

How do you keep writing during the busiest season of the year?

Raising the Stakes...

2010-12-03T08:20:00.000-08:00

...Before Driving Them Home in the Breast of Boredom.

He was dying from boredom. It's better this way.

I always have a book on the table while I eat. My kids think it's unfair because I won't let them read while they eat, but they are much more likely to have a spill, so it's just too bad for them.

This morning that book was Story, by Robert McKee. Easily the best book about how to engage an audience that I've ever read. I'm reviewing conflict and act design.

Here're a few tidbits-

Here's a simple test to apply to any story. Ask: What is the risk? What does the protagonist stand to lose if he does not get what he wants? More specifically, what's the worst thing that will happen to the protagonist if he does not achieve his desire?

If this question cannot be answered in a compelling way, the story is misconceived at its core. For example, if the answer is: "Should the protagonist fail, life would go back to normal," this story is not worthy of telling.

Ouch. Not worthy of telling. Sound like any memoires you've read? I kid, memoire-writers. Or is this one of those jokes that reveals my true feelings?

Okay, let's take this concept down to the scene level. In a particular scene, what happens if your protagonist fails? If it's a return to real life, that's a problem, too. There are building scenes where the conflict is increasing without coming to a conclusion, sure, but there must be risk for the protagonist. There must be stakes, and they must be high.

A crit partner told me that's what her agent commented to her over and over in her edits: Raise the stakes.

In behavioral psychology, there's this term for increasingly desperate behavior called an extinction burst. We all do it. You put a few quarters in the vending machine, press the button. Your drink doesn't come out. You press the button again, a little more firmly. When you press the return change button, it's the same. Nothing. You lift the door, maybe the drink was released and somehow you didn't notice the loud thump as the can landed in the trough, but there's nothing there. So you press the button again, ten times real fast, each time getting harder. Maybe you're a little mad now. You hit the side of the machine, sure that somehow this will work.

In a lot of novels, the protagonist is operating in this way: trying with increasing desperation to get the Coke out of the machine. They would never just walk up to the machine and punch it, but because they are blocked over and over again, they are willing to try just a little bit harder, then a little more, hoping that it will finally work.

Incidentally, giving in when a child is in the midst of an extinction burst is the best way to teach them that desperate behavior works. It sets you up for years of buying candy in the checkout line at the grocery. So don't give in when kids are kicking and screaming. They are so close to giving up and getting on with their lives. That makes for a boring novel, though. In writing, we want to increase desperation.

Here's one more quote from Story:

A story must not retreat to actions of lesser quality or magnitude, but move progressively forward to a final action beyond which the audience cannot imagine another.

You can't have your protagonist discover a baseball bat, and walk toward the Coke machine at the end of the chapter, then have them find 75 cents in their pocket at the opening of the next chapter. Wouldn't they have checked their pockets for more change before they considered destroying the machine? Raise the stakes, one step at a time. Lead the character to the climax, where they will do something they never could have seen coming on page one.

I hope you all had an amazing Thanksgiving. I love having a few days off to be with the family and revel in all of my blessings. Happy Writing!

What'd Ya Do That For?

2010-11-17T07:03:00.000-08:00

In a previous life, I worked as a behavior specialist. Basically, I would teach parents or caregivers how to encourage better behavior from children and adults with developmental disabilities. Think Supernanny, without the accent.

One of the most important things to changing someone's behavior is to understand why they're doing it. There are five categories of motivation to pick from (I refreshed myself on these on the wiki page for "Behavior Modification, functional analysis. Check it out if you want to learn more.) They are:

Access to Attention
Access to Escape
Access to Automatic Reinforcement
Access to Intangibles
Sensory

I'm going to use head banging (actual hitting of one's head on another surface, not the "dance!") as a typical behavior I've worked with. Then I'll give examples from Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix of these same motivations at work.

Access to Attention- Child hits his head on the desk, the teacher comes over, rubs his back. She might ask him please not to do that, warn him that he'll hurt himself, etc. but everything she does/says is giving the child what he wants: attention. (The proper response here is to ignore the behavior.)

Access to Escape- Worksheet gets distributed. Child hits head on desk, maybe even hard enough to start bleeding. The teacher reacts by sending the child to the nurse. The child escapes having to do the worksheet. (A better way to deal would to have the nurse come to the classroom, and to establish a reward program for completing work.)

Access to Automatic Reinforcement- There is a substitute teacher. The child is nervous because of the change in routine and bangs their head on the table to relese this tension. (The best way to do this is to avoid stressful situations, and to give the child a constructive outlet when stress occurs. Having a pillow or stress ball to squeeze would provide a better way to release stress.)
Access to Tangibles- The child bangs their head, and the teacher brings them an ice pack. The child now has what they wanted: an icepack. This is a simple one to stop: don't give the child what they want. The behavior may increase for a time, but once the child is sure that their behavior isn't working, the headbanging will stop. This is why I never ever ever buy whiny kids candy in the checkout line.

Sensory- Child hits head on the desk because he likes the way it feels. Maybe he has a headache, or maybe it's just a strong sensation. Once medical reasons are ruled out, the best way to deal with this is to interrupt the sensation. If the head banging is severe, the child may need to wear a helmet. Maybe it would be better for the child to sit in a bean bag chair or otherwise make the environment unfriendly to head banging. This is, in my opinion, the hardest type of behavior to stop.

Okay, let's look at Harry Potter. I picked this book because most of you have read it, and the movie comes out this week. Yay! (Unfortunately for me, I'll have to wait a week to see it because Nathan is having his hernia repaired on Friday and won't be up to going to the theater for a few days. He claims that it would be desertion if I went without him. And he won't go to the midnight showing on Thursday, even though he's just going to be in surgery and sleeping all Friday. Sometimes I just don't understand him, lol)

Okay, back to Harry and his varied motivations:

Access to Attention- This is the one that Harry is least likely to do, since he gets plenty of attention just for being the Boy Who Lived, but there are times when he wants attention from his friends. His tantrums in the beginning of the book about having been left alone all summer would be such a time.

Access to Escape-Harry says he's feeling ill so he can leave class and take Hedgwig to the infirmary. All of those Skiving Snackboxes Fred and George make are helpful to students motivated to escape class. Harry doesn't continue with Occlumency lessons even thought everyone around him tells him he should because his motivation to escape Snape is so strong.

Access to Automatic Reinforcement- At the end of the book, Sirius has died, and Harry is raging at Dumbledore. Harry is not seeking attention, he is releasing stress. Incidentally, Dumbledore handles it just as he should- calmly, without yelling back. Dumbledore remains the adult. Good job, Dumbledore! I think this would also be why Harry has a "thing about saving people." It's a reaction to who he is and not a sensory motivation.

Access to Tangibles- Harry does all kinds of things to get things he wants. He enters the Great Hall at the appropriate time so he can get food. He does homework so he can get decent grades and maybe become an auror some day. Note that "behavior" does NOT mean "bad behavior." The behaviors can be good or bad.

Sensory- Harry has some pretty nasty headaches in this book, and he's always rubbing his head afterward. Kissing Cho has a sensory motivation, as does riding a broom. Avoiding Stinksap also has a sensory motivation.

The important thing is that there are 5 basic motivations to behavior. You can also count NOT doing something as a behavior, for instance, Harry and Ron often don't do their homework because they want to pratice quidditch. If Hermione really wanted to make them study, she wouldn't give them planners, she'd take away their brooms!

This isn't the only way to look at character motivations, but perhaps it will add a layer as you think about what your characters are doing and why. Anybody have any idea what motivates Voldemort?

And I forgot to link to this fantastic article on pacing and dialogue last week. My friend Teresa Frohock picked the brain of Lisa Mannetti, winner of the 2008 Bram Stoker Award for her novel "The Gentling Box." The book trailer is on there, and it's way too scary for me, but Teresa says it is amazing!

Happy Writing!

Pacing in "The Hunger Games"

2010-11-12T08:32:00.000-08:00

Each chapter has a story arc. You've heard that, right? In view of some comments about pacing in my own writing, I did some studying in The Hunger Games. Look at these chapter endings-

Me in red and my sister and some of our kiddoes hanging off a cliff. Get it?

Ch 1- Effie trinket crosses back to the podium, smoothes the slip of paper, and reads out the name in a clear voice. And it's not me.
It's Primrose Everdeen.

Ch. 2- Peeta looks me right in the eye and gives my hand what I think is meant to be a reassuring squeeze. Maybe it's just a nervous spasm. We turn back to face the crowd as the anthem of Panem plays. Oh, well, I think. There will be twenty-four of us. Odds are that someone else will kill him before I do.

Of course, the odds have not been very dependable of late.

Ch. 3- Just then, Haymitch staggers into the compartment. "I miss supper?" he says is a slurred voice. Then he vomits all over the expensive carpet and falls in the mess.
"So laugh away!" says Effie Trinket. She hops in her pointy shoes around the pool of vomit and flees the room.

Ch. 4- All of the pieces are still fitting together, but I sense he has a plan forming. He hasn't accepted his death. He is already fighting hard to stay alive. Which also means that kind Peeta Mellark, the boy who gave me bread, is fighting hard to kill me.

Ch. 5- Peeta is planning to kill you, I remind myself. He is luring you in to make you easy prey. The more likeable he is, the more deadly he is.
But because two can play this game, I stand on tiptoe and kiss his cheek. Right on his bruise.

Ch. 6- I pull the covers up over my head as if this will protect me from the redheaded girl who can't speak. But I can feel her eyes staring at me, piercing through the walls and doors and bedding.
I wonder if she'll enjoy watching me die.

Ch. 7- the arrow skewers the apple in the pig's mouth and pins it to the wall behind it. Everyone stares at me in disbelief.
"Thank you for your consideration," I say. Then I give a slight bow and walk straight toward the exit without being dismissed.

Okay, is that enough to get an idea of what she does?

My big breakthrough came when I realized that if I were writing THG, my chapters would have kept going. On. And ON. Primrose's name is called? I wouldn't have started a new chapter. I would have made that whole scene, with Katniss climbing the stairs and Effie congratulating them one continuous scene.

Suzanne Collins doesn't follow the classic story arc inside her chapters. She is continually cutting us off right at the climax. Then the next chapter finishes the scene up, if necessary, or if the reader can easily guess what will happen, she starts at the next scene.

Her chapters tend to be briefer than I go, also: 17, 12, 13,12, etc. Low teens, not low twenties.

I was giddy as I read through and figured it out. I promptly printed the last page of each chapter with the plan to find those high tension moments and insert a page break! Except the moments weren't there. They were back a page or two...or five.

Sometimes I found that the end of the scene was necessary and kept it. Other times, it was just me trying to wrap up all my loose ends. Which is exactly what I don't want to do! Delete! Delete! Delete!

No loose ends=no tension. No reading on to find out what happens next.

I'm not suggesting that we all have to structure our chapters that way; every story is different. But Suzanne Collins knows how to keep the reader turning pages, and I found it helpful. I hope you do too!

Any other tips on pacing? Any other authors to check out? Thanks for reading.

PS- My kitchen is now pistachio pudding green, and the foyer will soon be a buttercream. I love it. Plus the two hundred bulb I bought are in the ground. Yay!

Opportunity Knocks

2010-11-01T05:18:00.000-07:00

Three years ago, Nathan and I moved to South Carolina, intending to stay with the in-laws for a few months while we saved some money and looked for a new house. We'd spent the previous five years fixing up a 90-year-old Victorian, and I was always too busy during my few free hours, caulking and tiling and wielding my prybar. So when we sold the house, I lost a huge piece of who I'd been, Kelly the Remodeler, but I chose to look at it as an opportunity to try something new.

This picture has nothing to do with anything.
No, wait. I can do this...Ummm...Okay. Here goes.
I like taking pictures of unusual churches,
but I don't have time to pursue photgraphy, either.
It's about choices.

And it was nice. Weekends weren't inevitably full of project after project, and with 3 out of 4 kids in school, plus a few days of preschool co-op, I had more free time than I'd had since pre-kiddoes. By far. I wrote a lot. I read a lot, too. It was heavenly.

Alas, we are homeowners once more;)

I'm excited to be picking out paint colors and curtains again, but I will miss the closeness we've had with Nathan's dad and stepmom. My youngest has no memory of life without in-house grandparents, so once they close on their house and move out, nuclear family life will be totally new to him. It's definately bittersweet.

I've already cut back on my blogging and internet time, but I'll probably cut back to one post a week, instead of closer to two. I'll still be checking in with you guys, but I may not be on here every day. There literally aren't enough hours in the day, and I am a terrible person when I'm tired. Really grouchy, and prone to crying, and I don't want to be that mean mom.

Though I enjoy writing even more than I did three years ago, I've been able to pull back from being obsessed by the book to being preoccupied with it. There's a fine line there, but on this side, my kids don't ask me why we don't go anyplace fun anymore. And the neighbors don't wonder why no one ever leaves that house. Is it haunted?

I have a paintbrush in hand once more. Left hand, that is. Right hand is holding a pen.

Any tips on achieving balance? On loving the life you have instead of wishing for change? Did anybody else have a special opportunity to follow a "one day I'll..."-dream, as I did?

Manifest by Artist Arthur and Tutored by Allison Whittenberg

2010-10-25T15:34:00.000-07:00

So the way Around the World ARC tours works, you read a book blurb, and if it sounds interesting, you ask to be put on the list, and some time in the future you receive it in the mail. You have a week to read it and send it on, and then another week to review it.

I'm so late with these two. I received three books in one week, and while it was no problem reading them, I really liked "Girl Parts" and it was hard to muster enough enthusiam to review these. So this post is not a strict review, more my thoughts on great vs. okay books.

Coincidentally, both "Tutored" and "Manifest" are by African-American authors, a group that is under-represented, shall we say, in bookstores. I don't select books based on race, in fact some of my favorite books are by people of African descent. Errrr, does that sound cliche?

Well, it's true, so there.

Alan Patton, for instance. "Cry The Beloved Country" is an amazing-
What's that? He's white? Seriously?

*Checks wiki* Holy crap. So he is. Still, he was born in Africa...

All joking aside, Ralph Ellison's Invisible Man changed me. As a high school student, I fell in love with the writing, with the struggle to be seen. I still love that book.

Maya Angelou was and is a huge inspiration to me, many of her books broadened my vision of the world. I identified with her characters and felt that she understood people- of all colors- so deeply.

I haven't read much lighter fare from African-American authors. Perhaps there's some kind of reverse discrimination going on behind closed doors in my head, like I expected them to be more than they were, but both these books disappointed me.

I'll give my summary of both books, and then explain what felt off to me. I add, they were decent books. For someone else they might be awesome books, but for me, the connection was shaky.

"Manifest" is about a girl named Krystal who sees dead people. She moves from The City to a small town, and gets sucked into solving the mystery of a young man's death by his hawt ghost. She has no interest in the cute living boy that likes her, since she's got a HUGE chip on her shoulder. But Ricky's ghost claims that he was murdered when he discovered who killed his girlfriend, and soon Krystal begins to wonder if the same person isn't after her.

"Tutored" is about a young woman, Wendy, whose father escaped the inner-city and is determined that his daughter not fall back in. Wendy is tired of being the "only chip in the cookie" and starts volunteering at a community center. She tutors a young man, Hakiam, who has just moved to Philly and is trying to get a fresh start. But with little family support and no education, Hakiam sees little choice but to steal if he wants to eat. As Hakiam and Wendy get to know each other, they find they have more in common than they could have imagined.

Both of these books had some good moments, and I didn't feel it was a total waste to read them. But they weren't amazing. I didn't believe that a good girl like Wendy would get involved with Hakiam. The leap from reluctant study sessions to boyfriend/girlfriend was too great. And when Wendy takes Hakiam to a "white" party, and everyone is drunk and stoned, that was presented as a positive (Hakiam says "White people are all right" or something close to that.), while the same situation in the ghetto was presented as a huge negative(although the situation was different since Hakiam's cousin had a small baby present). Still, to find common ground in drugs is not my idea of a bridge between cultures.

In "Tutored",I never quite believed that Krystal was as angry as she was presented. It just wasn't backed up in her history. Like, what teenage girl isn't going to be a little flattered when a cute guy keeps stopping by her locker to talk to her? Yeah. I can't think of any either.

I also felt that both of these authors accepted violence as part of life in a way that I am not comfortable with. Hakiam has several scenes where he is tempted to steal someone's purse, and when he and Wendy talk about that, her reasons for not stealing fall flat. How about "it's wrong?" To the best of my memory, she only says it's inconvenient to the other person. It's a whole lot more than that. Likewise, in Manifest, Ricky ran with a rough crowd, and his girlfriend was involved in "sexting" someone else. He had the attitude that it's her decision and unrelated to him. That did not work for me. I didn't buy his attitude.

The magic of Ralph Ellison was that he made us live through another's eyes, and I never got anywhere close
to that with these books. They were okay.

Seeing Like a Rat, starring Nightshade City by Hilary Wagner

2010-10-20T09:28:00.000-07:00

I gave Nightshade City by Hilary Wagner to my now-ten-year-old for his birthday, but of course I had to preview it first. He said "I love it. this is, like, the best book ever!" I say Hilary has created engaging, distinct, and memorable characters, but more impressive is her abiltity to turn readers into rats.

Really, she did. I was a rat for several hours. She describes the beautiful Clover in such a way that I believe that Clover's not just a rodent, she's a female to envy and admire. Hilary somehow skipped over all the little nudges that often occur, where the author has to keep reminding the reader that the animals are animals, not people in fur with whiskers and tails glued on.

She was quite lovely, with smooth cocoa skin, and light fur, buff in color and downy soft, much more suited for a snow hair than for a rat. She had a short, rounded nose and a sculpted refined muzzle. Eyes the color of citrine offered up varied hues of yellowy briliance, round and open. Despite her beauty, she had an approachable sweetness, modest and shy.

Shall I give you Killdeer, snarly High Minister?

Lazily picking a scrap of roast hen off his distended stomach, Killdeer idly flicked the oily meat across his den. The mammoth rat slumped down further in his silver-chalice throne, only his limbs, potbelly, and snoutvisible to an onlooker...His legs draped over his silver throne like mounds of heavy velvet, leaving his immense feet hanging over the side like two dead gray rabbits.

The dead rabbits line really jumped out at me, in a good way. He's like a furry Henry the Eighth.

Nightshade City follows two orphaned brothers, Vincent and Victor, who escape from the Catacombs and forced service in the Kill Army. They stumble into the rebel stronghold and find a group ready to fight for the freedom their father died trying to restore.

Another orphan, Clover, has caught Killdeer's eye and has no chance of escape with the Kill Army guarding her. Their paths will cross as the rebels seek to pull down the power-hungry Killdeer and his creepy second-in-command, Billycan. Nightshade City, once just a dream of the earlier generation, waits to be born.

This was a great book, well worth the purchase. Isaac was rereading some of his favorite parts at breakfast this morning and almost made us late to school. However, parents may want to preview this book. I don't suggest it to younger elementary, as Billycan and the Kill Army are quite vicious, pulling out tongues for torture, and there are some mentions of females being chosen to mate with Killdeer. Not graphic, but you might check it out first. I really liked the overall message of the book, actually.

Hilary is one of the friendliest writers I've met, so you might want to stop by and say hello to her. Because let me tell you, it was cool to tell Isaac "I know the author of this book." He was impressed ;)

Has anyone else been turned into a rat? What got you?

Boost

2010-10-15T07:05:00.000-07:00

I went to book club recently, and I told myself in the car not to bring up writing or my book. But I made a comment about the ancient Egyptian worldview, which I've been learning about for Book the Second, which led my friend to bring bringing up my new book.

This dear friend RAVED again about my writing and my ideas and how so very clever and imaginative I am, and on and on. I blushed and got through my elevator pitches.

It was just like this.

I don't want to be like one of those people that are always asking people for praise or constant affirmation. Most of the time I can just keep plugging away, nobody knows what I'm working on. I mean, how many times can someone ask "How's the book coming?" and you answere, "Oh, I'm just trying to tighten things up, still editing," before it gets boring?

But man, it feels so good to have someone get excited about my book. It feels so good after rejections and the ever-present fears of what may never be. I've missed a lot of baby showers and Pampered Chef parties to write this thing, but to this friend, it was worth it. It spoke to her.

This friend is a naturally exuberant person, and I feel narcissistic when I'm around her. But it feels good. Yay for positive people.

I can do better than that. A-hem.

YAY for POSITIVE PEOPLE!

Who are your cheerleaders and how have they helped you? Can you tell them I want to be friends, too?

Girl Parts

2010-10-08T09:16:00.000-07:00

What is it about girls and cyborgery? I've picked up several of these books recently, the latest being "Girl Parts" by John M. Cusick, but I've also read the "Specials" by Scott Westerfeld, "The Adoration of Jenna Fox" by Mary Pearson and "Skinned" by Robin Wasserman. Apparently in this age of texting and Facebook and smart phones, there're a lot of questions about how this affects us as human beings. In typical science fiction watchtower syndrome, there are warnings about the dangers of the ultra-linked world that has already arrived in some ways. Lots of folks have reviewed the latter three, so here's my review of "Girl Parts."

Gorgeous cover, right?

"Girl Parts" is about a Companion bot named Rose, who is designed to help David Sun overcome dissociative disorder, kind of like how teens have might to carry around a fake baby for health class. But Rose is an AI girlfriend, programmed to require certain kinds of interactions before she'll allow physical contact. And it seems to be working. David spends less time with his video games, and is eager to meet Rose's requirements so that things can progress to sex. Unfortunately...well, it is a YA book. When Rose's program to please David can't be completed, she has to find her own reason for existing.

The most interesting thing about this book was what it says about real relationships, and how sometimes people can get into patterns of thinking that are very robotic. Boy spends time with girl, thus girl is obligated to do XYZ. Rose's thoughts in some places were very poignant to me, but I don't want to spoil it for you. So, I'll just say that this book was worth reading, especially if you enjoyed any of the other books above.

If you're looking for a book for your teenager, I would highly recommend you preview it first. David is very concerned with losing his virginity, and while I imagine that his motivations are fairly realistic, it's a bit detailed for my taste in some places. But, I think the consequences of his actions are worthy of a good discussion. His choices are not glamorized, and the overall message is a good one.

Girl Parts came out in Aug. of this year, and I received this ARC (better late than never!) on loan from Around The World Blogs, which you can find in my side bar. Thanks!

Plumping Up Dialogue

2010-10-05T08:09:00.000-07:00

In celebration of multiple signs from the universe that I need to tighten up my pacing and set some better hooks at end of my chapters, I'm studying. Today I'm sharing what I've gathered about convincing dialogue.

My favorite dialogue movies are very revealing about what I value: wit. "Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?," and "Clue," "Real Genius," and "Napoleon Dynamite". TV shows would be "Seinfeld", of course, "The Simpsons", "Burn Notice," and "Castle."

It's a wonder my characters ever have anything serious to say.

As with all writing, the first rule is to revise. As far as I know all good dialogue must be revised no less than twenty times. Maybe that number varies, but good dialogue doesn't just happen. It takes a lot of work.

Here're my current dialogue guidelines. Please add anything in the comments that has helped you.

Don't have the characters say anything they both know. "Look, he's dead." That kind of thing. Never say "As you know, Jim, my pet zebra escaped last week..." Have you tried to use this in real conversation? People get annoyed really fast. It's kind of fun.
Don't go on and on. Or even just on. It might be one of your character's quirks to be longwinded, but be aware that the reader will likely skim! "But Tom Clancy still got published!" you protest. I know. He did, so did Ayn Rand and tons of other writers. I skim those books. A lot.
Use dialogue to reveal character. Sure, sometimes dialogue will be necessary to move the plot, but that's not its main purpose. Dialogue is for the reader to get to know the characters. The beats and action are to move the plot.
Have characters at odds with each other as much as possible. Not necessarily fighting, but they can't want exactly the same thing. Otherwise, what are they talking for? They could be doing whatever it is that they are in perfect agreement upon. Thus...
A major purpose of communication is to persuade people to do what we want.
Other purposes of communication are information sharing. I'd suggest keeping this type of dialogue to a minimum in a novel. It's great for real life, though.
Another purpose is establishing levels of intimacy. Word choice and levels of playfulness are mutaully agreed upon in the art of conversation, and that can be fun to read, especially when the characters are uncertain about the other person's goals or they have conflicting expectations. Think every romance novel ever written. It doesn't have to be romantic intimacy, though. All relationships have a level of intimacy.
Listen, listen, listen, but don't write the way people talk. You want to distill normal conversation into a more compact, clever, and conflicted version of real life. I might talk to a friend for an hour in real life, but if it takes more than fifteen seconds to read that dialogue, we'd better have saved the planet!
Never have your character trying to accomplish the exact same thing with a second line. Have their goals change with the conversation, in reaction to the other person's responses. People usually escalate when they're blocked. Or they try another angle. Or they...you get it. Don't let them bore the reader. The reader wants to see what they'll try next, not what they just tried. "Story" by Robert McKee has a great chapter on this. It's a screenwriting book, but well worth reading.

That's what I've got. I'm also reviewing my copy of "Longman's Guide to Intermediate and Advanced Fiction Writing", and it's very good, also. (Both of these books I previewed at the library before buying, so I don't recommend them lightly.)

What dialogue moves you? Where do you go when you want to be amazed by dialogue? Books can have some good dialogue, too! lol "The Queen's Thief" series by Megan Whalen Turner has very clever dialogue. And Kathryn Magendie has great regional dialogue, especially if you want to look at a Southern twist. She goes way beyond throwing a ya'll in. Her blog is lots of fun, so check her out. When I first met her online, I commented on how much I enjoyed her dialogue, and she said that it had not been easy and seemed delighted. So, there's hope for all of us. Work hard, revise and rerevise, and you can have sharp, believeable dialogue that brings your characters to life.

I hope you enjoy the links; I'm trying to be less lazy in my blogging.
Finally, here's one of my favorite moments from Clue. Enjoy!

I have to go back to making Play-Doh snakes and eating salty blue spaghetti with the kiddoes now. Happy Writing!

Bruiser by Neal Shusterman

2010-09-30T04:14:00.000-07:00

Tennyson is very concerned when his sister, Bronte, starts a new project, in the form of social rehab of a loner, Bruiser, who looks like he's descended from the Hulk. Tennyson feels their home life is already complicated enough with their parents separating. But Tennyson gets to know Bruiser and realizes that he's an okay guy, if a little wierd. He and Bronte figure out that Bruiser has a secret as terrible in practice as it is wonderful in the abstract. They try to help him, but sometimes the person in the mirror needs help the most.

"Bruiser" is told from four persectives, and I was impressed with how convincing each of the voices were. I loved the Special Thing Bruiser could do, which I won't describe here. It was cool and very believable, though.

I also loved the theme of how pain is a necessary part of life, and it reminded me a bit of "The Giver" in that way. I'll just say that Bruiser changes a lot of things for the people he cares about, and sometimes protecting someone isn't in their best interests.

Thanks to Around the World Blogs for lending me this ARC. The book was released in June, and the paperback will come out in April. Definately worth reading and nothing was out of place. I highly recommend.

Don't Wring Your Hands!!!

2010-09-29T06:28:00.000-07:00

What to do when you are rejected:

Refresh your email to make sure it wasn't a mistake.
Find something to get angry about. You know it's in there. "This is a form rejection!!! I bet they didn't even read it!!!" OR "This criticism is too vague to even help me!!!" OR "This criticism is specific, but it could apply to chapter one or chapter twenty-one!!!" Regardless of how your anger expresses itself, remember to use exclamation marks. Lots of them. We all know there's no better revenge against an agent than multiple exclamation points. Oh, yes. We have our weapons, too.
Read the rejection again. If it's an email, print it just so you can have the satisfaction of balling it up and throwing it in the trash, or setting it on fire, if you run like that.
Cry a lot, and make sure to tell people how devastated you are, and how cruel the publishing industry is. Facebook is very helpful in this regard. Don't worry about being an emo. Your true friends will want to know what you're going through.
Shoot an email to your crit partner crying about number two above. Delete them from your address book if they reply and tell you someone else will be interested. After all, this is their fault for not telling you what you needed to fix in the first place!
Get a milkshake. That's the drink I'd feel most guilty about drinking that I'd actually drink, but I'm sure you will adjust the beverage to fit your own personal demons. Get fat/drunk/stoned. That will show them!!!
Make sure not to write anything constructive for a few days. Mull over the rejection for many hours. Accept that you suck and you'll never be published. And everybody who ever said they loved your story has bad taste in literature and is a pathological liar. They're all out to get you.
OR Make the suggested changes, if the agent was jerky enough to provide any feedback. Stay up all night if that's what it takes. Email the agent back and ask them to look at your revisions. They'll be impressed with your passion, I promise. You might be willing to forgive the agent if they see the error of their ways.
If some idiot tells you that you're not being very professional, remind them that you would like to be a professional, but you keep getting rejected! What kind of a trap is that? This is a good spot to use any short words based in Anglo-Saxon.

Yes, I got a rejection. It was actually extremely helpful, and I still cried. A lot. I emailed a crit partner. I was frustrated. And then I got on with my life. If you're querying, you can't afford to lose a whole day of writing every time someone doesn't like your book. Because how will you be able to write EVER when you finally are published? Have you read any reviews on Amazon lately? Even books I love have pros and cons.

Seriously. Pick the last book that you really liked and go read the reviews. Unless you read Narnia, I guarantee you someone hated it. I was shocked that not everyone loved The Queen of Attolia. There are 58 reviews of The Queen of Attolia, and 6 are very negative. What are these people thinking? That's one of the best books I've ever read! Read the bad reviews. Laugh about how they didn't get it and remember again that there's a lot of subjectiveness in this business.

I am taking querying very slowly, and I think this has been a good thing for me. "Pulse" is my first book, and I've been fortunate enough to receive feedback from some of the agents I've contacted. The criticisms I got yesterday were very hard to hear, but now that I've gone through my stages of grief, I can see that she was right. It's very good that I didn't send out queries to all the agents on my list at once, because I still have lots of options, and that feels great. I plan on taking a few weeks to think about the criticism recieved, then fix it. I'll work on another project in the meantime.

So, when you get a rejection, keep breathing. Cry. Get it out, and get on with your life. I find doing something non writing related for a while helps, like playing piano or taking the kids to the park, or cleaning the disaster that was my kitchen.

Something to think about, though: If you query ten agents a month and lose a day with every rejection, you've cut down your writing time by a third. That would really be a shame, wouldn't it? Good luck, friends.

Crescendo by Becca Fitzpatrick

2010-09-24T05:27:00.000-07:00

Spoilers for "Hush Hush" ahead. You're warned.

I like the cover.

In "Hush, Hush", Nora Grey fell for the ultimate bad boy, fallen angel Patch. He lied to her, placed her in dangerous situations, and was actually plotting her death for the entire book. Nora knows she should probably stay away from him, but just can't say no and mean it.

"Crescendo" builds on this. I had forgotten how Nora operates, so I spent the whole first half of the book like a kid watching a horror movie: "No, don't investigate the mysterious thumping in the basement in the middle of the night with a half-dead flashlight during a rainstorm. Don't do it!"

I like my characters to be smart, to have some self-preservation instincts. Nora does not have this. Some people don't even notice, they love her for being so trusting and/or foolish. In "Hush, Hush", perhaps they trusted the writer that Patch would end up being worth it, but all I could think is, "Why would you go out again with someone who treats you that way?" There's more of that in Crescendo, too, although the book follows the required mid-series breakup formula.

I will say that Nora was a lot more proactive, if misguided, in this book, and the funny best friend was, well, funny. Patch's character was much more likeable and I found myself rooting for him. There were some scenes that were very fun to read.

I don't have to fall in love with a main character, but I couldn't lose myself in Nora at all. This may say more about me than about the book. I am not a let's-hope-this-doesn't-kill-me kind of girl. She was really emotional and insecure, and that was hard for me to read, too, but it wasn't beyond my experiences as a teen. I saw people act in ways that were at least this dumb.

I wish that Fitzpatrick had reminded us of how the whole Nephilim/fallen angel thing worked earlier in the story and how the first book had ended, because it took a while for that info to be restated, and I'd forgotten most of it.

The second half of the book really picked up and I read it much faster. I don't know if I will read the next book in the series, but maybe. I like tension in a relationship to be based on misunderstandings, not demeaning actions, and in that way, Nora's relationship with Patch was much more plausible to me in Crescendo. But with other characters, Nora is a total pushover. I'd like to tell Nora that she doesn't have to let guys treat her like she's a piece of trash, and I'd like to have a good, long talk with her mother for encouraging Nora to spend time with a psycho childhood friend. Neither Nora nor her mom have a backbone. Sigh.

TONS of people loved "Hush, Hush," and they will love "Crescendo," too. I was engaged with the story, but in a frustrated, "Wake up, girl!" kindof way.

Thanks to Around the World Tours for sending me this ARC. Anybody who reviews YA books on their blog can sign up, so check it out. They are also looking for YA ARC donations. Happy reading!

Strategery

2010-09-23T10:59:00.000-07:00

Why do you blog? Some people have goals about how many blogs they will visit and comment on, how many link backs they will make every week, and how many how many how many.

I tried that. For about a month.

It was stressing me out, and making it hard for me to want to write here.

At the University of Florida (and I suspect it is similar in most colleges), there were two main plazas that most everyone walked through on their treks from the dorms/parking lots to their classes. The Hari Krishnas would serve yummy vegetarian glop for a dollar donation on Fridays. The "Redcoats" would stand up on buckets in their maroon suit coats and yell at the girls in short shorts that they were the whores of all the earth, and the boys were informed their fornication would lead to their everlasting damnation, etc. And usually Yoga Guy was out there on his mat, too.

It was a rare day where I wouldn't see someone that I knew as I walked through. The plazas were a place to hang out and relax, a place to listen to people argue, a place to lay under the trees and look at the clouds or just lean up against a tree and read.

Blogs are that same type of thing for me. I'm on my way to email, or renew my seriously overdue library books, but I take a few minutes to hang out with you guys on my way there.

That's what I'm going for on my blog. I haven't checked my new visitors vs. returning visits, duration of visit, how the person got here. I understand that such stats would be useful if this were a business. But it's not. This is where I hangout. Stay as long as you like. Come back when you can. I'm not worried about it.

I comment when I'm interested in the topic and have something to say. When I follow someone, it's not part of my master plan to have X number of followers by X date. I follow someone because they intrigue me in some way.

I understand the usefulness of branding and online presence. I think it's great for people who can think like that, but it freezes me up. The blog is fun. That's my motivation.

Why do you blog?

Thanks for reading and commenting. Getting your take on things is the best part!

What keeps you up at night?

2010-09-20T18:43:00.000-07:00

I'm ready to admit that I'm terrified of messing up my search for an agent.

It's the way that the timing is out of my control that kills me. Let's say, for instance, that I have a partial out to an agent that takes a full 6 weeks to read 50 pages. And then let's say that a new agent comes on the market, someone with decades of experience in the industry, and I fire off a query letter, thinking basically that New, Experienced Agent wouldn't want me, but I'll give it a shot. And then she requests a full, and she's got superfast turnaround.

Then say that a non-query email with a likewise New But Extremely Talented Agent leads to that agent asking what I write, and I tell her, and she says to send her a partial, too.

This would all be really awesome, right? Except I don't know how to handle this. I know it's silly to worry about it, because reading is not offering representation, not at all, but what if New Experienced Agent or New But Extremely Talented Agent offer representation? Do I wait for Super Yet Slow Agent to get back to me? Do I send them an email and hope they will get back to me soon enough that I don't look like a total butthead to N.E.A. or N.B.E.T.A.?

That is what I worry about. Looking like a jerk. That and not having an amazing relationship with my agent. I want to know that their input helped me to take it up a notch. I want an agent that gets who I am and what I'm about. I want someone who will know that if they aren't sure if I'm joking, that I am. I want somebody who shoots me an email out of know where, telling me they were thinking about my book, and wouldn't it be cool if....

I want someone who loves my book as much as I do.

Excuse me. I have to go read some agent blogs and make sure I get all this etiquette right. And go check out my friend Teresa's blog post on her editing letter. Very informative, and she always manages to throw in some good lines. Really, go find out why you need to get an ulcer, pronto!

And Kathryn Magendie has a brilliant post on the relationship betwen chipmunks and procrastinating. And M&Ms. You need to know this stuff, I promise!

I thought I Made This Up.

2010-09-14T09:13:00.000-07:00

I found a story about a woman, Jill Price, whose memories don't fade. She's been tested by various researchers and they've concluded she has accurate recall of daily events back from the time she was 12. (She kept a daily journal all those years.)

She describes the memories as a split screen, and says that a dozen or so times a day, a memory will be triggered by a smell, a song, a sight, and she reexperiences that memory.

From the USA Today Article-

The constant onslaught of memories is both a curse and a blessing, Price says. Especially under stress, the good memories give her great comfort. "I have this warm, safe feeling, and I can get through anything." The dark side is that she recalls every bad decision, every insult and excruciating embarrassment. "Over the years, it has eaten me up."

Peaceful sleep is rare because memories assault her, she says. "It has kind of paralyzed my life."

My MC, Lara, deals with the good and the bad of having a perfect memory. Can you imagine living this way? I thought I was making this stuff up.

"Hunger" by Jackie Kessler

2010-09-10T06:18:00.000-07:00

A girl with anorexia attempts suicide, but Death gives her a second chance by appointing her as one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocolypse: Famine.

Lisa is tired of being fat. She still has a muffin top, for goodness sake! How could her friend suggest that she has anorexia? When her boyfriend agrees that he's worried, she can't take it anymore. Enter: Mom's antidepressants. Lisa swallows one pill, then another. Then another. And then a delivery man rings the doorbell and hands her a package that contains scales, and tells her, "Thou art Famine: Go thee out into the world."

I'm not particularily interested in eating disorders, but the connection to Famine and Lisa's ultimate twist to her duties was intriguing. This book did not read as a self-help book, not at all, but I found the thought patterns a bit disturbing. Anyone who has fought themselves against grabbing an ice cream sandwich by how many calories it contains will recognize the thinking, and maybe even wonder if it would be so hard to lose track of "normal".

In my psych classes, I learned that when asked to select what images match their body types, anorexics will select body types that are more ample than their real body. There's a fundamental shift in perception, and that came across very clearly, as did the way that food becomes the most important relationship in Lisa's life.

"Hunger" comes out in October, and I thought it was worth reading, whether or not you are interested in eating disorders. And for those of you who are looking for books for your own teens, be aware that there are references to Lisa fooling around with her boyfriend. It doesn't get into any details, but from the character's perspective, it is a given that a girl with a boyfriend will be sexually active. I found it interesting that Lisa's self-perception changed when she and James went from being best friends to dating.

Thanks to Around the World Blog Tours for the opportunity to read this ARC. Now I'm off to the post office to send it to the next person! And for anybody that noticed I didn't get this review up yesterday, my apologies. I've come down with a cold.

Time, Time Time, Is On My Side. Err, Not Really.

2010-09-07T15:01:00.000-07:00

I started writing this post as a list of all the ways I'm overwhelmed right now, but it sounded a little pathetic so I erased it and started again. The point was that a lot of things are in flux right now for me, and none of it is bad, just changes. Some of it is even exciting- like we're going to be closing on a house any day now!

The hard thing is that while I get used to the increased pace, I'm not getting a lot of writing done. The good thing is that if I can make it through the adjustment period, I'll be much more involved in my kids' activities and time with them is never misspent.

Organization has never been one of my strengths, but I'm trying. I'd like to be able to be a cub scout leader, homeroom mom, writing workshop member, blogger, chaffeur, child care expert (my own kids plus two extra), new home owner/amazing designer/renovator and not go crazy, but it is feeling pretty crazy. I'll let you know how it goes.

I'm laughing as I think about my overly generous estimates on how much time I would have to write every week. Can you hear me? Because it's pretty loud, and a teensy bit on edge. 25 hours a week, I thought. Too funny.

I try not to get annoyed when life happens, like this morning. Two yearly checkups for the kids plus a snafu with the appointment scheduler (not a mistake on my end, amazingly) means I spent all three of today's precious free hours today at the doctor's office. Grrr. At least we had a whole bag of library books and Eli is well on his way to becoming a member of the celebrated Hundred Book Club. Three hours is a long time to read picture books.

But, an exciting thing- I signed up a while ago at Around the World Blog Tours- it's an ARC (an advance copy) sharing site, and I got the first book today, Hunger by Jackie Kessler. I will let you know how I liked it on Thursday. Around the World Blog Tours is pretty cool- you join the site, pick which books you would like to review, and you get a book in the mail. It's a pretty cool system and an easy way to get ARCs for those of us who can't make it to Book Expo or wherever else it is that people get them.

Another good thing- the dream that I had where I got my book published by a vanity press, only to have an agent contact me the day the boxes of books arrived (and the covers were AWFUL!) ended up not being real. Whew! I was really really relieved that I wasn't going to have to hand sell them all. It was almost as bad as those dreams where one of my kids is drowning or about to fall off a cliff and I can't stop it. *shivers* Okay, it's not in that league at all, but it was really upsetting.

I've got one partial out right now to an Ms. Agent, someone that Mr. Agent referred me to, and have started a new edit, which I hope to finish up within two weeks. That will be well within the 4-6 weeks Ms. Agent said she would need to respond, so hopefully this won't backfire. I keep thinking it's perfect (enough) and I'm done, but it's not and I'm not.

Have a great day and write a little for me. I have to go finish my child protection training for cub scouts.

Blurt

2010-09-03T09:53:00.000-07:00

Twitter paralyzes my brain. I can't handle the limits of 140 characters to express something awesome. I would retweet and get all linky, but the things I would retweet are from my friends, who are already on Twitter, and they're all friends with each other, so there's no point.

I'm overthinking Twitter, I know. I basically lurk, following the agents I'm interested in and some friends and publishing people. You should definately follow me. "Kelly_Bryson" Because I will not be bothering you much, but when I do, it will be scintillating.

Facebook is a little better, but I wonder did I say too much, was I too bland, too many updates, not enough updates to feel connected?

The blog is a lot more comfortable to me, though. Have I mentioned lately how much I adore your comments?

The kids are back in school, and with that comes the infamous parent-child notebook. I try to make it fun and interesting for the kids, but I hold back a little. You know, the teacher might read it and think I'm a nutball, or something. She might not want me to volunteer for field trips anymore.

I didn't hold back last week. I wrote all kinds of craziness to my Lou-lou about what privileges the special student should have, like getting to go to the moon, getting a baby monkey that she can teach sign language to, whatever popped in my head.

My Lou-lou wrote back to me yesterday and told me I was funny. We're going to get some vocab flash cards, and I'm going to keep trying until she tells me I'm scintillating. Maybe I can do this.

How do you feel about the social media part of being a writer? Where are you comfortable?

Fiction, really?

2010-08-31T09:55:00.000-07:00

Here's my recent experience that makes the Hunger Games trilogy a lot more poignant. My husband works in the tire industry and this past weekend we went to the MotoGP races in Indianapolis. I've never been to a car/motorcycle race before, so I looked at the experience as a research opportunity. We were able to meet two of the racers at a company dinner and also go inside one of the garages on pit row and learn some cool stuff- for instance, the bikes cost in the neighborhood of 1.5 million dollars, and the riders (not drivers, they're particular about that) can make anything from a decent living to 35 million Euros. Holy. Crap.

So we went to the race, were amazed by the unbelievable, eye-blurring speed that these 800 horsepower bikes can reach (over 200 mph) and saw some very skilled people doing what they love.

This morning, Nathan called me to let me know what we hadn't heard at the race: in one of the exhibition races for up-and-coming stars, a 13 year old boy, Peter Lenz, crashed and was run over by another rider. He was pronounced dead a few hours later.

Peter Lenz in a race two years ago. These bikes are much smaller than

the MotoGP bikes, 125 HP instead of 800. AP photo from OregonLive.com

He was a skilled rider and was leading his circuit in points, according to the NYT. His father expressed that Peter had died doing something he loved. No one stuck a gun to his head and forced him to pull out on that track, but he's dead and I am left wondering how different we are than the spectators in ancient Rome. How different is the audience on race day than the spectators in the Hunger Games? Is attraction to risk just human nature?

People die all the time. A child at my kids' school died a few days before school started as a result of a short illness. Death happens. I understand that. But I can't help feeling a bit responsible. I don't think the riders look at it that way, though.

Collin Edwards, whom I met briefly at a dinner on the Friday before the race, said this about the death of his young friend, "It's a normal racetrack and racing incidents happen. From what I understand, it was a pure racing accident.

"The fact is, it's going to happen again at some point to somebody and we hate it, but we know what's going on when we put a helmet on. We know what can happen." (Quote taken from Sky Sports)

My thoughts and prayers are with Peter's family and those who are grieving in our community.

What do you think? Can things change or are we human, always have been, always will be?

Uber Rich

2010-08-23T11:25:00.000-07:00

We visited my 89 year old great aunt a few weeks ago, and right before we left, she opened her wallet and passed out dollar bills to all the kids and myself. She gave me a quarter to pass on to hubby, too, and apologized that she'd run out of dollars. It took me right back to being seven and my grandma occassionally handing out some money. The kids felt rich, rich I tell you! I could hear them folding and unfolding their money all the way home- all four hours of the drive.

With that context, I want to introduce the newest member of the uber-rich elite caption writer club, winner of the impromptu contest and one dollar prize- Charity Bradford. [applause]

Charity, send me your address at kellybryson02(at)hotmail(dot)com and I'll send that right out to you.

Happy Writing!

"I wish I sparkled like Edward Cullen."

I feel that from him, don't you?

Meeting Reader Expectations

2010-08-20T07:36:00.000-07:00

I've read a few followup books recently- Mistborn after reading Elantris by Brandon Sanderson and Gathering Blue after reading several books by Lois Lowry over the years, including The Giver.

I loved Elantris and after a few months, I got around to reading another book by Sanderson. I noticed several things he kept consistent- both books are about a magic that affects not only people, but the world around them. He also has very strong characters, both male and female. Heroes, if you will. The point of views were the same. The tone was similar.

The characters, the magic system, the goals of each, the societal structure were all different, but because of the similarities, I was immediately comfortable.

Same idea with Gathering Blue. A child is stuck in a comunity that is unfair. That could describe The Giver, too. The conflicts are a little different, the plot and details differ, but the voice is the same.

To be a successful writer, a person has to sell books. And that means readers picking up/clicking on your book and paying for it. It's a lot easier to keep a customer than to find a new one. I think this is why writers are encouraged to find a genre they love and stay put!

I think you can switch things up quite a bit, and still have a followup book that feels familiar. I'm pondering POV for my second novel- is it neccesary to write again in first person? Would a switch from first to third cause me to lose readers that love the intimacy of first person? I'm not sure.

Brandon Sanderson does have a midgrade book out, 'Alcatraz Versus the Evil Librarians'. We haven't picked it up yet. In fact, I hadn't realized he had written anything but adult fantasy until writing this post. The point being, nobody has to swear off writing for other audiences, but you might want to establish yourself firmly in one, develop a fanbase, and then branch out.

One thing I don't like is when an author switches genres and there's nothing on the cover that tells me that this new book is going to be quasi erotica. I can look at the 'Alcatraz' cover and know immediately it's written for kids. Or a certain book my son was reading yesterday. We'd read another book by that author and so I assumed it was fine. But he said he didn't think he should be reading it because it had some bad words in it, and I asked him, "What words?" and he told me, and I agreed that I'd rather he not read it. Then he chastised ME for telling him to read it! This cover looks midgrade to me, but is actually YA.

We're reading another of MT Anderson's books right now- a midgrade novel-

'Jasper Dash and the Flame-pits of Delaware' and love it.

Anybody have any thoughts on this? How much can you vary and still build a fanbase, theoretically?

The Plan and an Impromptu Contest

2010-08-19T10:58:00.000-07:00

Here's my philosophy about planning: Dream Big. Bigger than that. BIG, I say.

This picture came up in the fotosearch under 'thoughts'. Any ideas on what he's thinking? I think I'll mail a dollar to the person who comes up with the best caption. Yes. Let's do it. Impromptu contest, starting now. You have until Sunday midnight, eastern time zone to enter. Winner gets a dollar.

I over-schedule, run run run until I drop, then rest and do nothing but read for a few days, then run run run all over again. It might sound a little manic, but I like having busy times and slow times much more than having all medium times.

When I write, this means I write in spurts, though I write some almost every day. My goals are always impossible, though they sound reasonable to me when I set them, but they don't account for this circadian rhythm in my energy levels. So, keep that in mind and recognize that behind these grand ideas lurks a procrasinating bum.

My plan is to write a thousand words a day for the next 80-90 days and get my rough draft for book 2 knocked out by the end of October, or thereabouts. Next phase- brainstorming and the outline for book 3 Nov/Dec with some editing of book 2 mixed in. Then maybe a rough draft for book 3 in Jan-Mar, another edit on book 2, some brainstorming for book 4... repeated to infinity. I'd like to get two book written by the end of 2011 and have another in the works.

Don't forget, I am still a procrasinating bum.

That's why it's lucky that it doesn't bother me at all to miss my own deadlines. I've got three kiddoes in elementary school and one in preschool, and I'm a fairly laidback person anyway, so I go with the flow. I mainly use schedules to motivate myself- as a reminder of what might be accomplished if I were to be totally gung ho. I'm usually quite happy to hit my goal in twice the alloted time. It's still progress.

Some people use goals as absolute measures of success, and I can see how that would be motivating, if you were able to accomplish your goals. But then you have to have reasonable goals, and where's the fun in that?

When (note the positive self-talk!) I get an agent, I don't think this self-deception will be a problem because I like to work under pressure. I've never had a problem getting papers in on time, so I think my brain files other people's deadlines are in a different, inviolable category.

I also set my clocks ahead an undetermined number of minutes ahead, so I'm constantly having to add subtract minutes to figure out when we really have to leave, and we'll still late quite a bit.

Which reminds me- I got the kids to school on time today for their first day back. I miss those noisy kids, but their teachers seem fantastic and they have gotten tired of hanging out with each other all the time.

And my son kind of embarrassed me at the meet-your-teacher event earlier in the week. He intro'd me to his teacher and told her I was a writer, and she promptly invited me to come teach the kids about where to get ideas and how to write. I told her I wasn't published, but she was extremely enthusiastic anyway. I could be a total hack!

I went to bed thinking about what basics fourth graders can use to improve their writing. I'm not even sure if Teacher was serious, but I think it would be so fun to brainstorm with a group of kids and write an outline on the board, talk to them about how to choose words to reveal character, etc. I was thinking about how many different forms of 'walked' there are, and what skulked would say vs pranced. Anyone have any great ideas?

Okay, done rambling. Back to the point-
Do you get crazy with your goals, or are you ever-so-realistic?

Summer is Over, People!

2010-08-16T03:11:00.000-07:00

The trips are over, the lazy days at the pool are done, because school starts on Thursday for us. Just one last trip up to Mama's house today, and that's it.

This is First Day of School from a couple of years ago, but they're still about that cute.

I'm practicing commonly used phrases-

Your breath still stinks. Go brush again.
I don't know where your shoes are, but they're whereever you left them.
Five more minutes and this bus is leaving!
Walk fast! The bell rings in two minutes!
Sit down and finish your homework.
Why are you up? Finish your homework.
Finish your homework. You're not allowed to jump on the couches until AFTER your homework is done.

I'm missing some, but you get it.

I've come up with a writing time plan to help me stay accountable, and to help me realize that there are really only so many hours in the day, so if I blow an hour watching Youtube, I won't get it back unless I allow my kids' brains to atrophy by letting them veg in front of the tv, which I don't like to do. They fight a lot more and are way more whiny when I've gone that route.

So- my plan-
M-F 5-7am= 10 hours
M-F 8:30-10= 7.5 hours
Sat 7-10= 3 hours
Preschool 2x/week = 5 hours
Total=25.5 hours of potential writing time

25 seems like a lot of time, and it is, but I don't actually use all of that time wisely. I'm going to keep a log for a few weeks and see how I do. I lose time by sleeping in, which gets me off sinc with my hubby, who is trying to maximize his triathlon training time by getting up at 5 also. And I lose writing time by still not having much self control with books- I have a compulsion to read books all in one sitting.

I've actually gotten up at 5 a few times this Summer, only to be so haunted by the book I was forced to put down the night before (thanks, honey. I do hate book hangover) that I got up ridiculously early and finished a book. It's so dumb, but my brain won't let me slip back out of stories. So I read Mistborn by Brandon Sanderson basically ALL Saturday (great book, by the way. He has very strong male and female characters, and has made up some really cool magic). The kids can't distract me when I'm in my reading zone. Nothing can.

Do you have a plan? Do you have a goal? Haven't you read '7 Habits of Highly Effective People'? lol
I'll share my goal on Thursday. Happy Writing!

Good News for a Friend

2010-08-13T18:07:00.000-07:00

My good writing friend Teresa Frohock has just signed with Weronika Janczuk at D4EO Literary Agency. This calls for exclamation points!!!!!!!
Stop by and wish her luck on her blog. Teresa's a great lady and has been my faithful crit partner since I first posted on Online Writer's Workshop for Science Fiction, Fantasy and Horror, scared to death and clueless about so many things, commas included. I just love her and am so excited for her success.

It's been a privilege to watch 'An Autumn Tale' change from a promising idea to a fully-realized story of redemption and love. If you like your fantasy a little darker, then you'll want to keep an eye on Teresa.

Book Envy: The King of Attolia

2010-08-05T06:31:00.000-07:00

I'm in love. With a thief. How unlike me!

So, I read 'The Thief' a month ago, loved it, and picked up 'The King of Attolia' from the library a few days ago. I'd liked 'The Thief' enough that I requested the rest of the series, and yes, I know I skipped 'The Queen of Attolia'. I thought 'The King of Attolia' was next, but soon realized I had missed at least one book's worth of events. But it didn't matter. I have a hard time (nearly impossible?) putting down a good book once I get past the first page. A so-so book is hard to stop, even when my kiddoes want dinner and are dancing around me, jumping on the bed, saying things like, "Mom, are you going to read ALL DAY?" But a good book? I'm hopelessly addicted.

But I didn't neglect my kids yesterday. I started it after dinner and then stayed up until 1 am. And this morning I want to read it again, to get all the details that I missed the first time, but I have to go to the library and pick up 'The Queen of Attolia'. I have this idea that I should wait to open it until tonight, but what I'd really like to do is take the kids to the Y splashpad- it's a concrete pad with sprinklers and sprayers and nozzles that no one could possibly drown in, even if I didn't look up for two hours. Yes, I may just do that.

Eugenides is my new favorite literary character, more than Katniss, more than Tally, more than Ender. He is so very funny and tricky and reminds me a lot of Capt Jack Sparrow in the Pirates of the Carribean, except you can tell a little sooner that he actually cares about the people around him.

I love these books so much that I wish I had written them. Sigh. Will I ever be that good? No, will I ever be half that good? I don't know, but I intend to read and reread and basically take Megan Whalen Turner's brain apart and examine it until I can put it back together in 3.5 seconds while blindfolded.

Read these books. They are AMAZING! This book made me realize that it could be fun to write about castles and kings and assasins. Happy reading!

Winner of 'Inside Out' and Starting All Over Again

2010-08-02T07:10:00.000-07:00

Thanks for stopping by and saying hello to Maria Snyder, blog friends. After a lengthy selection process (you know, writing names on pieces of paper and drawing one out of a hat) Myrna has been declared winner!

So Myrna, email me your address at kellybryson02(at)hotmail(dot)com. Thanks again to Maria for being so generous with her time and for providing such an awesome prize!

So, I've essentially finished Pulse. It's in the hands of some trusted beta readers, and though I will likely have to tweak a few things, I think it's in good shape. I have two query letters out to the agents that Mr. Agent suggested I contact, and a letter to Mr. Agent explaining what changes I've made in response to his feedback and thanking him for the feedback and for the referrals. That was a tricky letter to write, because I wanted to say, "Hey, I got what you were saying and I made some changes' without saying 'You were nice to me and now I shall never leave you alone!'

So. I wait. I check email. I recheck. I check the mailbox, but just once a day. I don't expect a response for another month at least, but that doesn't stop me from feeling like the phone is going to ring any second. Even though I KNOW noone is going to call me to ask for a partial. It's just how it is.

I like to change my phone ringer every once in a while because after a while, the sound of the phone ringing gets me stressed out. But what do you do with your email? Get a new account? Do you paint your mailbox? Fire your mailcarrier? There's nothing.

I was a little mopey on Saturday, and Nathan called me on it.

"You're upset because you finished your book! That's what's wrong with you!"

*crying* "That's *sniff* ridiculous! I'm FINE!"

It's been a little hard to let go. It's a lot like the feeling I've had a week before my babies were born. Just waiting. Empty. There's nothing to DO around here!

Of course, every room in our house needs to be gone through and roughly half our stuff will be going to Goodwill, but that's not what I want. I want the next project. So, I've started brainstorming. I was having trouble being freewheeling enough, so I changed the brainstorming title from 'Story Ideas' to 'Things That Interest Me'. There's a lot less pressure that way.

This is not that impressive visually, but this is where the Santa Fe River in FL disappears underground into caverns in the aquifer. Some crazy insane people scuba dive in there, but they're crazy insane and several of them have died. It resurfaces three miles down stream. My dad has been there after heavy rains and it was a churning whirlpool with logs beating against each other in a terrifying vortex. That's how he explained it to me, anyway;) It reminds me of brainstorming, of trying to get below the surface of the story,

into the murky heart of the story.

I tried to get Nathan to brainstorm with me, but he was not interested since he had to give me the 'Your book is great and you're a good writer and everything is going to be fine' talk twice this weekend already. He actually threw a fake book idea out there that sparked off something else I was already thinking about, so I'm happy. I've got something to think about, at least.

How do you come up with new ideas? Do you wait for inspiration to hit you or do you think your way into inspiration?

Slave to the Story

2010-07-30T07:00:00.000-07:00

*reminder to leave a comment by midnight EST tonight on the interview with Maria Snyder

for a chance to win a copy of Inside Out*

I like to critique, especially writers that have gotten the mechanics down and are trying to find the heart of their story. I think that's the key. You have to find the biggest problem, the most emotion-packed part of your idea, and focus on that.

By focus, I mean relate everything to it. Your main conflict has to be the center point that everything else ties to.

My hubby saw the Avatar movie with some friends (husbands of my friends that I went with to see Twilight! I think the guys got the better movie, but that's a different post.) He came back and was telling me about the aliens, that they lived in the trees and had tails.

And I said, 'Why do they have tails? Did their tails 'do' anything?'
He then told me how cool the whole concept was, that the tails were an interface between the aliens and the animals on their planet.

You see, I thought it was just an empty detail. A detail that didn't mean anything except 'Hey. I'm an alien. Look at my tail.'

But it was more. The tail meant "Hey, I'm an alien. I can use my tail to link with the brain of my cool flying beasties and into the soul of the planet. It defines how I relate to the world and explains my deep connection with nature."

See the difference?

Every detail must be a slave to the story. Relationships to other characters need to be shown in relation to the conflict. Don't let your characters get to know each other for ten or twenty pages, then get to the conflict. Start your story on page one, then work in the details around it. Let the reader get to know your characters as they work to stop the giant asteroid falling towards the earth.

Integrate the back story in only when their previous experiences cause them to do something unusual! For example, in Avatar, EVERYTHING we learn about James Sully is necessary to explain why he is on the Navi's planet. He's a soldier, now a parapalegic, whose identical twin brother was killed, and Sully was asked to take his place in the Avatar program. That's all we know about his backstory. The rest of who he is he shows us as he interacts with the Navi.

Not details, but telling details. Details that make us care and have an emotional response to the characters and their situation.

Stick to the story and the reader will stick with you. How do you make sure you're using telling details?

Interview with Maria V. Snyder!

2010-07-28T10:22:00.000-07:00

Maria V. Snyder is the author of the acclaimed Poison Study (awesome book!) and the accompanying, equally awesome Magic Study, Fire Study and the related Glass series, the third of which, Spy Glass, will be coming out in September 2010. InsideOut, a young adult dystopian novel, came out in April 2010. Can I say she is prolific and celebrated? And she has been gracious enough to offer a FREE COPY of Inside Out to one of my readers, so don't forget to leave a comment and a link for additional chances to win it.

Let's bring her out. [Applause.]

KB: Maria, welcome to BookReadress and please have a seat. Have some water. No? Okay, I'll jump right into the questions. In your research for previous books, you've done glassblowing, food tasting, and learned to ride a horse. Your new YA book, Inside Out, opens with a girl crawling through duct work. Did you actually do that? I was especially curious because family members have worked cleaning industrial ducts, and I've seen how nasty they get! Do you take anybody along with you on your learning adventures?

MS: I didn’t crawl through any ducts for Inside Out, but I did climb a rock wall to get a sense of how difficult it is to scale a vertical surface. I usually go on my research/learning adventures by myself, but they have involved other people like my friend who taught me how to ride a horse.

KB: Your Poison Study and Glass series are pure fantasy, marketed to older teens and adults. Inside Out is a dystopian, and seems more directed squarely at teens. I love a good dystopian novel- so I'm not complaining, but I wondered if you have a master plan here, or if you get an idea and just go with it? How far out do you plan what your next project will be?

MS: I would like to have a master plan - that would save me a lot of trouble! Actually, I get an idea and go with it. Both the Study books and Glass books grew from one idea for one novel. Inside Out came to me from a dream. I usually know what my next two book projects are going to be and have a couple short stories to write. Right now, I’m finishing Outside In and then I have the go ahead to write another fantasy novel for older teens/adults about a healer. After that, it’s undecided – although I would like approval to write this urban science fiction YA set in today’s world that would be fun and different for me.

KB: You sold Poison Study without an agent, but have found an agent since then. What's the difference between your agented/unagented writing life? At what point do you take a new idea to your agent? Since Poison Study, have you run with an idea even though no one else 'got' it?

MS: There’s not much difference in my actual writing, but having an agent has helped me with revisions and when I get stuck. And I don’t worry about contract negotiations and any money issues as I leave that to my agent. I present many new ideas to my agent after I’ve run out of “approved” books. He sorts through them and sends the best to my editor. I’ve so many ideas, that I haven’t “run” with any that haven’t been approved by my editor. If there is one, I can try and sell it to another publisher before I spend the time to write it and then try to sell it. That is definitely one of the perks of being a published author with a good track record.

KB: Travel. Where are you going next? Where do you dream of visiting? Do you share my dream of hiking up Macchu Picchu in Peru?

MS: I just returned from a Baltic Sea cruise with my family. We spent a few days in Stockholm, Sweden and then boarded our cruise ship for Helsinki, Finland, St. Petersburg, Russia, Riga, Latvia, Gdansk, Poland and back to Stockholm. Lots of history, sights, museums, walking, cobblestones, heat, humidity and shopping – I need a vacation! My next trip is to Orlando, Florida for the national RWA conference and then to Los Angeles and San Diego, California for a promotional tour for my next release, Spy Glass.

I would love to go to Australia and New Zealand. My husband has actually been to Macchu Picchu when he was down in Peru for business and from what he says, I would love to go there as well. The Galapagos Islands is another place on my wish list.

KB: I'd love to go to the Galapagos, too. Now, Maria, we'll get into some of the tougher questions, questions that by their nature will make some of us squirm and try to justify our actions. Do you write by an outline or the seat of your pants? Has that always been the case?

MS: I’m a seat of the pants writer and have always been one.

KB: I knew it! I knew I wasn't the only one!

A-hem. Sorry. *sits down, quite demurely*

I saw on your blog that you went to Book Expo of America. How was it? Did you meet anyone that blew you away? Get any ARCs that you want to gush on?

MS: I always enjoy BEA – lots of like minded people (i.e. book lovers) and free books. Plus I have a chance to sit down with my editor and agent and talk business and where we’re headed in the next year. I met the Duchess of York, Sarah briefly – she didn’t blow me away, but it was fun to meet her. And since she was in the middle of a scandal, she looked really tired. I didn’t have much time to get ARCs, but my daughter snagged a signed advance limited edition of Cornelia Funke’s September release: Reckless. She’s my daughter’s favorite author. And my son got a signed copy of Rick Riordan’s latest book, The Red Pyramid. He’s my son’s favorite author. So they were both very happy.

KB: My son is completely jealous of your son's connections! Maybe one day, I will get a prize like that. That's what we aspiring authors dream about- autographed copies of books our kids want.

Like me, a lot of my blog readers are aspiring authors. Any warm, fuzzy advice? Any advice that's we might not exactly want to hear, but it's for our own good?

MS: My warm and fuzzy advice: it’s possible. Combine hard work with talent and persistence and it’s just a matter of time. Advice that’s hard to hear: it might take awhile to find a publisher for your book. And some books are just not publishable. But don’t give up, write another book and then another and send each one out to every single publisher who publishes your type of fiction before you put it aside. I also have a bunch of writing advice articles on my website at: http://www.mariavsnyder.com/advice.php

KB: Thank you so much for coming to BookReadress and meeting us. And congrats on the cover of Sea Glass winning the 2009 Annual Cover Contest in the Alternate Reality cover category. Isn't it beautiful? Seeing all of these beautiful covers makes me salivate.

Blog friends, leave a comment below for a chance to win a signed copy of Inside Out from Maria. The cutoff time is Friday, July 30, 2010 by midnight EST. Link to this post with whatever social media you prefer and leave a link in the comments so I can find it for additional chances to win (one additional chance per social media. So if you FB and Tweet it, you get your name in the hat three times.) I'll announce the winner on Monday August 2nd. Thanks!

Presents and such

2010-07-26T14:25:00.000-07:00

Today is my birthday and I got to thinking about presents and how I am the world's worst present giver. I think I'm afraid that it has to be this amazing gift that they'll treasure forever, I don't know. It's a lot of pressure, but I can't imagine it away. I even feel that pressure picking out Barbies for my daughter's friends. Will she love this Malibu Barbie FOREVER?

Art from nataliedee.com.

Cute, but there are some cruddy words on there, so now you're warned.

Has everybody on the planet read 'The Five Love Languages' yet? Good book. The theory is that different people express love and sense it in different ways: gift-giving, quality time, acts of service, physical touch and words of affirmation.

I am a quality timer, followed by words of affirmation. There have been very few presents that actually meant something to me, one exception from our first anniversary, my hubby put a jewelry box with little diamond earrings inside of a cake (chocolate on choclate, of course). I was digging in with the knife, trying to cut a piece and actually pierced the box. Nathan had to clue me in that it wasn't a really tough piece of cake, but that perhaps there was something hidden, you know, inside the cake. I teared up when I opened the box, but I think that's the only time I have.

Those earrings were eventually lost on the way back from my cousin's wedding and I have this suspicion that the baggage handlers helped lighten my suitcase. The point is, I lose jewelry. Books seem like a safe present to give me, but I rarely find a book that I love enough to want to buy it (although lots of books are worth reading, I am EXTREMELY picky about which ones I buy. Limited budget and shelf space are the main reasons.)

I was given a Barnes and Noble gift card for Christmas, and couldn't bear to spend it until I read the Hunger Games, but then I had no problem using it. I'd found a book worth the price. Thinking about it that way, I can understand why agents are so picky about what they represent. And I desperately hope that this kind of stinginess will not turn into book sales karma.

The best present I have been given is to have the love and support of my family, especially my husband. My 9 year old has pretty much stopped asking me if I'm EVER going to be done with my book and my husband has changed from tolerating all the hours that I spend cozied up to my computer to encouraging me to write more. It is a special gift to have people believe in you, and I have been truly blessed. I apologize for the rambles. I tried to edit out them out, but then there would have been nothing left! But hey, it's my birthday!

Upcoming Interview with Maria Snyder, author of Poison Study and Inside Out

2010-07-22T14:35:00.000-07:00

I'm so excited! Maria Snyder is coming to Book Readress! I've read many of Maria's books and love her strong heroines and magical worlds. Her young adult novel, Inside Out came out in April and she's offered an autographed copy to one of my readers! I'll post the interview next Wednesday, so come meet Maria and leave a comment for a chance to win! I think I need another sentence with an exclamation point!

Charisma and Giant Bears

2010-07-15T09:13:00.000-07:00

I love to flip through a book while eating dinner and last night it was "Touching Spirit Bear". I flipped to the back flap and was immediately in awe. Below various awards and publications was this line.

Ben lives in a log cabin near Bozeman, Montana, with a 750 pound black bear that he adopted and has raised for the last twenty five years.

And a picture similar to this one, which I found on the author's website.

I'm feeling a bit boring. All I've done is get married young and have some babies! Maybe I can raise albino alligators or live with wolves for a year. Otherwise all I'll have to recommend me is my writing.

Airing Dirty Laundry

2010-07-12T07:48:00.000-07:00

Hey there blog friends! We are back from our tour of Arizona and Southern Utah and I just wanted to check in. What is your family up to this summer? Anything you want to share in the comments below?

The books on CD from the library were great, but I'd suggest checking for scratches before you pack them. We couldn't listen to 'A Wrinkle in Time' because it was damaged.

And we started Kira-Kira, but got a few surprises! That book talks about older sisters showing their boobs to boys and has a few curse words in it, although said with a Southern accent, so it was partly obscured, but my kids speak Southern! So make sure you know what you're listening to before it goes in everyone's ears.

I was glad we had all the Magic Tree House books to fall back on.

The family plus my niece (her head is hidden behind Emma's)

I have a tip for feeling loved by your fellow travellers, works every time.

We were at this park in Oklahoma on our drive back (they had a herd of buffalo and a lake, so we stopped and at some pb and j's) and my youngest pooped his pants. I know, that goes against my no-potty-training-anecdotes-on-the-writing-blog rule, but bear with me. When all was cleaned up, I had a bag of really nasty, stinky clothes, so we stuffed these in a plastic grocery bag, tied it to the handle inside my back hatch and shut the hatch. Perfect. The bag was secure and outside the car.

We're rolling down the highway, I'm using another wipe to make sure my hands are really really clean, and this car pulls up next to us, honking and waving (the car, not the people inside. It was very exciting). They want us to know we have a bag on our bumper. We wave, and thank them. Next a guy with a legal pad emblazoned with 'BAG ON BUMPER' does the same. We smile and thank him. We stop to eat dinner, and when we're leaving Taco Pronto, this guy sprints after our car, yelling at us to stop and we explained that there was a real smelly mess in the bag, and it's tied on, everything's fine.

We had close to twenty people tell us about the bag, and each instance made us laugh hysterically. It felt like we were engaged in some kind of bizarre social experiment. Anyhow, those midwesterners sure are nice. I'm wondering if we would get the same response in New Jersey or Miami. Hmm.

Now back to work!

My brave explorers at the Navajo Bridge in the Vermilion Cliffs.

Note the arrowhead necklace pulled up over Eli's ears.

And I just noticed all the silly bands. I love these guys.

Cien Por Ciento

2010-06-21T07:00:00.000-07:00

To entertain the kiddoes on our colosal road trip from South Carolina to Arizona, I've checked out some great books on CD.

Anne of Green Gables, The Hobbit, some Magic Treehouse, some Little House on the Prairie, Judy Moody, Stuart Little, *Kira-kira, *The White Stag, *A Wrinkle in Time, When You Reach me, *Roll of Thunder, Hear My Cry, When You Reach Me.

*books I haven't read. I know. A Wrinkle in Time. How did I miss that as a kid? Apparently every other ten-fourteen year old loved it. My kids WILL have advantages that I did not, so it shall be written. We did read some amazing books and I'll never forget my mom reading Charlotte's Web to my fifth grade class and weeping. I don't actually remember being embarrassed. And I wept when I read it to my kids. And whenever I read them Kate DiCamillo. Must be genetic.
A-hem. On with the blog. My apologies for keeping you here in the fine print.

By some Magic Treehouse, I mean twenty titles. I guess when I was requesting materials online, those looked really good. Over and over.

I've noticed that when we listen to books, there isn't the same behavioral backlash that we get when they watch a movie. Plus, it makes driving more fun than listening to books. Listening to movies without being able to see the picture is kind of annoying to me, esp Popeye. I can watch it, but to listen only makes me want to gouge my ears out of my head. Hmm. That's not as poetic as gouging one's eyes out. I tmakes me want to throw our portable DVD player out the window? Yes. That.

And in a shocking development in the field, The Hobbit has flopped. Nobody wanted to continue past the tea party with the neverending dwarf names/stories. I thought it was much more fun to hear someone sing the pub songs than to read them. (That was one of my favorite things about the LOTR movies. Hearing tunes to the songs. Especially in the extended version, when Eowyn sings this dirge...OR Viggo could have been my favorite part of the movies. Hmmm. That's a really hard call. Look at this picture and help me decide.)

Back to the Hobbit on CD. I wish the actor was Brittish. That can add a lot to a story- for instance, listening to 'Island of the Blue Dolphins' was cool because the actress had that Tongan-ish accent and it was just beautiful.

We're over halfway through "When You Reach Me" and that's holding their attention pretty well. I read that book earlier this year and didn't remember some of the mild cursing in it. That's the bad thing about audio books versus reading it aloud to the kids- I can't insert milder words like 'heck'. A good discussion will come of this, right?

And just to let you know of a cool resource, I've listened to some good recordings of common domain books, like "A Midsummer Night's Dream" and "Pride and Prejudice" on Librivox.com, a site where individuals volunteer and record their favorite books. I like to do that while folding laundry or doing dishes.

The Midsummer Night's Dream was great because they had different people reading each part and it was easier to understand than straight reading from the page. I tend to skim over the name of the character speaking, and generally get confused by reading plays. How lazy that sounds. Now you know my secret. I'm a lazy reader.

It's late and we're driving from Little Rock, AR to Veda, TX tomorrow (about 10 hours with a stop planned at the science museum in Oklahoma City, so I'm off to bed. And in case you were wondering, the science center in Birmingham AL was really really fun. We got to pet some sharks and rays and lie on a bed of nails.

Anything to add? Thanks for reading!

Georgia O'Keefe and Writing Smut

2010-06-17T03:12:00.000-07:00

I emailed a friend this prelude to a kiss scene, asking if the comparison of her skin to a seashell was too "Georgia O'Keefe".

Georgia O'Keefe, besides being one of my favorite artists, was famous for her large scale oil paintings of flowers, such as these Calla lillies. Her art is incredibly sensual, and one reviewer saw her attention to flowers as representative of the female portions of the natural world. If you know what I mean. (Which, for the record, caused her to say, "I almost wept. I thought I would never face the world again." But still, the comment stuck and sexuality one of the things that people read into her work.)

In my view, our bodies are beautiful and amazing, but sacred. I wouldn't post pictures of nudes on my blog, but these lillies- aren't they gorgeous?

So I decided I'm comfortable writing in the style of Georgia O'Keefe. I can talk about the lillies, about hands and skin and cheekbones and lips. And that's enough for me. I trust the reader to make the connections, that the emotion will come through.

Here's my Georgia O'Keefe writing. (My protag is an empath whose skin changes color as she experiences her own and others' emotions. She's pleading with Agent Hatton to explain the secrets of mortal life life to her. Her skin turned black as if she were being burned in a fire in a previous scene.)

Agent Hatton looked at me with pity in his eyes, pity and something else I couldn’t name.

“Your body already knows what to do.” His words were soft and intimate. I tried not to think of how they would have tasted to me before. He stepped closer until our toes bumped into each other, but I didn’t move away.

Mother help me, I wanted to lean in.

“I think that fire is your body shouting at you.” He took my face in his hands and touched his forehead to mine. He smelled of woodsmoke and grass gone to seed. “You don’t even know what you’ve done to me.”

I couldn’t move even if I’d wanted to. His thumbs rubbed in broad strokes on my cheeks and his touch calmed me. I still couldn’t feel what was behind his twisted expression, but the motion itself was powerful in a way I hadn’t expected. “I don’t know what you mean.”

“Yes, you do. You’re the psychic or whatever, but I know when a woman wants to be kissed.” He looked peculiar, but it wasn’t bad, just powerful. “Whenever I think about kissing you, your skin turns this beautiful purple, like the inside of an abalone shell.”

I peeked at my hands; a rich eggplant color was creeping into my fingers.

He released me and trailed his knuckles down my face. “Kissing you was the last thing on my mind, so I know it was your idea, but I should still tell you no.”

I suddenly wished for my empathy to return; I was blind. “What’s a kiss?”

His eyes slid off of mine, down to my mouth and then back up. “Part of the dance.”

I love reading a good love scene that isn't crude. Stephenie Meyer comes to mind- I think she's pretty much the master of not-in-the-room sensuality.

Any thoughts?

And as a bonus, here's one of my favorite O'Keefe paintings, with strangers thrown in for scale. I'm not sure what the clouds represent. Cellulite?

This travel blog photo's source is TravelPod page: Georgia O'Keefe - "Sky Above Clouds IV", Chicago, United States

Courage to Play

2010-06-15T06:18:00.000-07:00

The beginning of my novel has a problem. I've felt something not quite right about it for a long time, and have tried adding characters, new scenes, greater conflict, and those were good things to do, but the problem remains.

I've heard at least ten times from readers- "Once I got into it, I loved it." and "After the first few chapters, it's like reading a different book." But the first few chapters have information that the reader must have, and the tone is going to be different because the world is different.

Mr. Agent's only criticism of my writing (that he informed me of, at least!) was that he didn't connect with the tone. So. There's a problem.

I was fiddling around with the idea of making a prologue, something that would let the reader know that there is a serious love story ahead, I've foreshadowed, but it wasn't enough. Then I read FIRE, by Kristin Cashore, and realized that flashbacks would fit the situation better. I know. Flashbacks have a bit of a stigma, they're confusing, they break up the tension, they're pointless- why not just show the action in real time? But I tried that, and it messes up the tone of the beginning of the novel, when readers are deciding if they like where the book is going.

But what if the difference in tone, each world having very obviously different setting and characters, made it easier to separate what story line we're in? Then it would be an asset to have such different tones.

In 'Fire', all of the flashbacks are focused on the main character, Fire's, relationship with her psycho but loving (to her) father. In the present, the reader knows he's dead. In the past, he's alive. Having a cue like that made it very easy to follow.

So, I've set up my scenes in parallel. For instance, when Lara, my MC is interrogated by the FBI, they ask her about a missing girl, and she flashes back to ther last time she saw her, when Lara was essentially interrogating the missing girl. Both scenes are stronger for being juxtaposed like that. I think.

Yesterday, I reordered my scenes. And though I have a word processor and it's just a matter of cutting and pasting and spending a few hours (like ten) checking for continuity, it felt like the riskiest thing I've done in months. I was giddy and excited to see if it would work.

I'm think it's smoothing out the speedbump of the first few chapters- which were engaging and interesting already, just separate from the rest of the book. If they were awful scenes, then switching up the order wouldn't help, but I think it was just too much at once. Regardless, I won't make a final decision until I've had some trusted readers look over it.

So, if something isn't working, don't be afraid to try something a little different. It might even make things better. And the worst that can happen is you backup your file, mess around and have to revert to the previous version. Oh well! It's worth a try!

Writing a novel is supposed to be creative! Have fun with it and don't be afraid to lose a few hours to an experiment. In an amusing twist, reordering things will make my opening scene the arrest scene, which was my opening scene in my first draft. Hmmm. Full circle?

How do you find courage to try new things? Are you like me and wait until it is completely obvious that something needs to be done? Thanks for reading!

Partial News

2010-06-11T13:15:00.000-07:00

I got back from taking the kids to the pool yesterday and the mailcarrier caught us in the driveway. This is odd because I have a phobia of all things regarding communication- I don't check the mail, I don't answer the phone without checking caller ID, but mostly I just can't find my phone or I've dropped it in the toilet (I did that to Nathan's phone last week. Oops.)

Anybody else identify?

Ms. Mailcarrier handed me a big envelope and somehow I didn't see it for what it was. A returned partial. The rejection letter inside surprised me- I don't mean that I wasn't prepared for a rejection (we all know what our chances are with each individual agent, right?), but somehow I hadn't realized that getting my pages returned to me was an answer all by itself, so I was still wondering what the letter would say. I won't wonder again;)

Mr. Agent was very kind and gentle with my ego. He wrote, "You're a good writer," (and how awesomely nice is that?) but that he didn't quite connect with my tone and then he did something amazing- he recommended that I contact two other agents. Which is cool, cause now I can use his name in my 'why I'm querying you' paragraph. What a huge boost to have him willing to attach his professional opinion to my work, even though he doesn't want to represent me. I truly appreciate it.

I'm not ready to send out my queries- I only pitched to Mr. Agent because I happened to find out that he would be at a nearby, inexpensive conference, and I'm still incorporating my beta readers' comments. But, I felt that the fifty pages I sent were in really good shape, so at least I have no regrets.

I expected to be disappointed, and I guess I am, but this doesn't feel like a personal rejection (although I did get a little teary-eyed when I talked to my sister. She assured me that this was good for me, because I haven't met with a normal amount of rejection- I'd always been the one to end relationships and then my husband and I met so quickly that I missed out on rejection there, too. Isn't she sweet?)

Seriously, though, I wonder how I'll know that I'm picking the right agent instead of just accepting the first one that smiles at my MS. I want a lifetime relationship with my agent. I want to make beautiful books together and for someone to care about my stories as much as I do. Thanks for all the encouragement, blog friends. It's been nice to have people to share this ride with that have been there.

Now that I've had my first taste, I doubt I'll be talking about my specific querying efforts...unless I have some really amazing news.

I'm adding page tabs at the top, and if you're interested, you can read my first chapter. Thanks!

Prolific? Not so much.

2010-06-03T13:14:00.000-07:00

I bet it took longer than six months for Tolkien to get this map right!

And where did he learn to write like that?

Oh, yeah. He invented a few languages and the most fully developed fantasy world ever.

I've been slaving on my WIP for a year and 8 months. I will say that at the beginning of that process, my understanding of structure, voice, POV etc. was limited to what I learned in high school. My high school english teachers were amazing, but still, there's a huge learning curve. Things like passive voice and the really real rules for commas were a mystery to me. Don't tell, but I still overcomma after the word 'but'.

My WIP started out at as fodder for that box under the bed that every writer is required to have. Mine might end up in a box under my bed, on top of my old charcoal sketches of cow skulls (classic art class stuff!), but it's mostly better now.

My idea changed. Characters got older. The stakes got higher with every rewrite (still happening!). I renamed half the characters. Ok, all of them if you go back to my very first attempts. Everything has changed from my initial concept, except for the essence of my protagonist and her character arc. I just had to figure out how what situations would cause her to grow how I knew she could.

This took a long time. Not the ten years it took Susanna Clarke to write Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell, but it's felt really long and a bit circuitous.

I don't want the next book to take so long. Please, please, please, Second Story, don't be so hard to pin down.

I've been told that the secret to that is Outlining *enter heavenly choir*. Check out this awesome post on plotting over at Teresa Frohock's blog. She organized in a way that I can only dream of and a fabulous writer and friend. I fully expect to see her books in stores in the next 2 years.

I've been told (no link, this was at a writer's conference) that research is the key, that if you do your character sketch and research your setting, that the story will unfold like a beautiful flower. Okay, perhaps that's an exaggeration, but that was the general idea.

It's been said that using personality profiles, interviewing your characters, and drawing pictures of them will help you to know them better.

I've even heard of a novelist who starts every book by drawing a detailed map and fitting the story to the map.

I'm not sure which of these ways will work for me. Right now I'm trying research, and my brain is boiling.

How do you develop a niggling idea into a full plot?