A Kiss to say Goodnight

Last night as Nathan and I were going to sleep, I realized we hadn't kissed all day. We're an affectionate family, and it's rare for us to walk by each other- including the kids- without some kind of squeeze, so I was bothered, as much as you can be when half-awake. Nathan falls asleep really fast, and he was already on his way out, but I said, "I don't think we kissed today."

No answer.

Then he sat up and kissed me, a sweet kiss that he put some thought into. It was like our first kiss all over again. Except better, because our first kiss was actually kind of awful. (I claim responsibilty for that- I was so nervous! This amazing guy actually wants to kiss me?)

Then he laid back down and was totally out in thirty seconds.

Yesterday we sopped up gallons of water off our floor together without a harsh word, I watched him hold our feverish youngest as I ran out the door to go to my Cub Scout meeting, and he hardly even got mad at me over a $40 library fine (I'm still going to find that missing book, so it's actually half that!). Four kids, eleven and three-quarters years of marriage later, we're still capable of a "first kiss".

As a writer, I'm always on the look out for what makes strong emotions, the tics people have, what motivates them. We can only write what we understand, after all. But I won't be writing about that moment and turning it into someone else's scene. It's all ours.
Glutton for Punishment?

Sitting on my hands

So, I'm waiting. I hate waiting. And I haven't even started the querying yet- I've got a few typed up and I'm waiting to hear back from a few crit partners (This post is not a subtle shove in the back, critters. I really, truly want you to take your time.) I just want my book to be free of those nagging issues that bother a reader after they finish a book.

It was a good book, but...

...the MC had to be an idiot to go back for the cat.

...what about the giant squid in chapter 3? Did it make it back to the aquarium in time? (Disclaimer- there are no actual squid in my book, although they are mentioned. Did you know squids change color based on their emotional state?)

...that ending was all wrong! Wrong, I say! I wanted to rewrite the end of "Graceling" for that reason. Give me a happy ending and no loose ends!

I woke up this morning (in our upstairs bedroom) and the carpet was squishy. I vaguely remembered my little guy crying a few minutes before, so I thought, in a dream-like stupor, that he must have spilled some water in my room. And the I took another step into the bathroom and the bathmat was under water. Oh, schnikeys.

(Quick explanation: We've purchased the house from our inlaws, but they're not closing on their house until later this month, so until then we're cruelly denied use of the master bedroom. *wink* Thus, we share a Jack-and-Jill bathroom with our kids.)

It's one of those things where a few small errors add up into a big error.

Error 1- the flapper in the toilet doesn't always seal. I keep meaning to replace it, because it wastes water, but it never made it to the top of the list.

Error 2- The toilet has stopped up a few times recently for no good reason. We thought it was just a weird thing, I added more salad to everybody's plates, and thought we were good. So wrong.

Error 3- Not sure what the third error was. Nathan kept saying he should have gotten up to work out and then this never would have happened, but I think that's not really an error as much as a lucky break missed.

I think this flood was the universe telling me to get back in line or it'll give me something to really be worried about.

The kitchen ceiling is damp, but I think it's going to be okay with some paint. And the carpet is unfortunately surviving, too- I've used our spot remover vacuum to suck about three gallons of water out of it. I'm going to buy some Kool-aid for the kids and start shopping for hardwood floors.

Anyhow, between the flood and my poor kids with their raw noses and sicky-coughs, I'm not getting too much done. Oh, well. Distraction is good today! I'm going back to sitting on my hands!
Glutton for Punishment?

This Old House and Goals

Recently, Donna left a question in the comments.

I am desperate to finish a goal, I almost never set a goal because I fail every time....any ideas?

When we were renovating our former house, it was a bit overwhelming to think of ALL of the things that needed to be done. I learned that if I broke it down into little steps, I wasn't so nervous about it.

For instance, "Renovate the bathroom" is a lot more likely to give me heart palpitations than "unscrew the old toilet paper holder and throw that piece of chipped chrome junk away." I also found that when I had a Dumpster delivered, it was easy to find old paneling and carpet to fill it with;) Maybe the same part of me that loves my prybar loves to cut ten thousand words. 

For those of you who would like info about how to set goals, I'd recommend your goals to be S.M.A.R.T.

S-Specific
M-Measurable
A-Attainable
R-Realistic
T-Track Results

I could describe all of this here, but you can read about it at Goal Setting Guide. I don't have much to add to that (I found this website when I was checking my acronym.) Instead I'll share the little steps that turned me from a dabbler in writing into a writer and some links to resources that helped me.

I started writing a little most days. Sometimes I wrote a hundred words, sometimes four thousand. But working consistently got me a rough draft 110,000 words in length in four months.
At that point I realized I didn't know how to turn my ugly manuscript into a polished novel, so I found a critique group. I tried the Online Writer's Workshop for Science Fiction, Fantasy and Horror, mainly because it had a free month trial period, and at the end of that time, I was very happy with the critiques I was getting, so I paid something like $40 to become a member. I've heard good things about Backspace, and Nathan Bransford, an ex-agent and blogging demigod, has a forums area on his website with critiques and helpful info.

A critique group is a great thing because then you can set regular goals for submitting (a chapter a week, or whatever), plus reading and critiquing other's submissions develops your inner editor. The best thing I did was to read the crits other writers wrote, especially for submissions that I thought were in good shape. It helped me to take my own writing up a notch.

I started a blog, and this led to friendships with other writers. It seems simple, but leaving comments on blogs eventually led to making online friends. This site doesn't get a million hits a day, but it fills my need to have contact with other writers, plus blogging has led me to some excellent beta readers. Beta readers are daring folks who read your manuscript and critique the whole entire thing, bless their souls! ;)

I also tried the local writer's group, but it wasn't very active, so I'm grateful that the online writing community is so welcoming. Maybe your area has a rocking writer's group, so do an internet search for writing groups or writing conferences.

The next thing I did was to go to a conference or two, and at the Atlanta Writer's Club I was able to pitch to an agent, which led to a partial submission and two referrals for my manuscript. I studied blogs on querying and sent out a few query letters. That led to some feedback from agents, which I have finally finished addressing.

A good way to find agents is the Querytracker website. The basic agent search services are free and they have a great tracking tool so you can stay organized and know who you've contacted, how quickly they typically respond, etc. I also follow agents on Twitter, and I highly recommend this. Blogs and agency websites have great information, but it is often heavily edited. Twitter is more relaxed, so you can get an idea of an agent's personality and personal life. Like if they're always talking about what jerks people are, you might want to know that they're negative going in, right? Also, check out Predators and Editors to find out if your agent or publisher is legit. There are a lot of scammers out there, so be careful.

It still seems like a huge goal to get an agent- I'll have to send out dozens, if not fifty to a hundred query letters, and this book may or may not get picked up. If it does, there may (lol!) be revisions before I even get an agent. Then more revisions, then my agent will submit to publishers and then contracts, publicity and more.

It's a lot. Focus on what you will do today to reach your goals, what you will do over the next month, the month after, the month after.

And don't be discouraged if it takes longer than you planned. After my first draft, I thought I would need a few months to get it in shape and then I'd be ready to query. Boy, was I wrong. I spent twenty seven months actively writing and editing my first novel. If I'd given up at seven months, I would have missed the lessons in craft I needed to learn. I'm still learning.
  
Finally, Donna, I saw all of the Christmas decorations in your pictures on your blog. Anybody that has enough patience to put that much garland up can write a book. Some dreams take longer, but they can still be reached. In the case of my old house, we reached our goals right before we sold it! May the same thing happento our stories, right?

May I suggest a book called "Writing Down the Bones," by Natalie Goldberg? It's a collection of essays about how writing can help you be a whole person. It's very inspiring and makes you want to grab a pen and get to work. I read it in college (and I've heard of many people using it in highschool writing classes) for a creative writing class, which was about ten years ago now. The goodreads blurb on it says it is borderline erotic, but I don't remember that. I remember the "live in the now", "Write because you are alive and the world is beautiful" kind of feel to it. She brings Buddhist philosophy into it a lot, and I thought it very helpful. So, I cautiously suggest that book.

Any other suggestions? How did you change from dabbling to being a writer? Or were you always a writer?
Glutton for Punishment?

Flashback Folly

This reminds me of that time, shrouded in the mists of memory...Had enough?

There are some mixed feelings on flashbacks.

Flashbacks Suck Because They:
-break the narrative flow
-slow down the action
-are a sign of lazy storytelling. See also Dream Sequence, Prologue

Flashbacks Rule Because They:
-give backstory depth
-can double the impact of the climax

I've been studying a few books that do flashbacks well, Possessing the Secret of Joy by Alice Walker, Fire by Kristin Kashore, and The Sword Edged-Blonde by Alex Bledsoe.

I wrote this post, and then decided a summary at the top would be helpful. Details from the books are below.

1. The information must be extremely important to the main story. No distracting the reader!
2. Don't flashback until the reader absolutely is dying to know what happened to caused the character's present situation.
3. Anchor the reader in place and time. Be very clear when you leave the present time.
4. Be smooth. Use details form the present to carry the reader into the flashback.
5. Once the necessary information has been presented, get out!
6. Flashbacks can be more effective if the story arch of the flashback and the main plot climax at the same time.

My example books present flashbacks differently, but all are well done.

In Fire, Lady Fire is a Monster, a person with bright, unnaturally red hair that draws people in like moths to a flame. Her father, Cantrell, was also a Monster, and he used this power to control the king and nearly destroy the kingdom. As a result, Fire's history with her father is very involved, affecting the way people in her present time interact with her and how she makes decisions. This is key. You can't have flashbacks just to have them. They have to matter to the reader in the present moment.

In Fire, these flashbacks were integrated into the narrative, little chunks anywhere from a paragraph to a few pages in length. Kashore always set up the reader with hints, miniflashes and hooks that prime the reader.
Remember, lead the reader to ask questions, then answer them just enough in the flashback.

Here's an example of how to lead the reader into a flashback from The Sword-edged Blonde:
Eddie LaCrosse, a sword jockey with a lot of facial hair, is asked to investigate a missing persons case in the country he voluntarily exiled himself from twenty years previous. Eddie doesn't yet know what the case is about, but he's been brought to a castle and is being ushered to an audience with the king when one of the guards at the gate "started to say something, then stopped and stared as if I'd grown another nose. Then he turned to Anders. 'Is that--?'
'Yeah,' Anders said quickly"... "'And we don't want to keep the king waiting.'
Then they assure Eddie they'll take good care of his horse, and adds, "Sorry about that 'fuzzy' crack. No harm done, right?" and the door is shut behind them.Then Eddie turns to his guide, Anders and says,
"What the hell was that about?"
"They knew who I'd been sent to fetch. People stil talk about you here."
"They do," I repeated. My stomach fell into a pit and I was suddenly queasy. "What do they say?"
A spark flared to life in the darkness, and then a torch burst to life. Anders held it at arms length while the harsh residue burned away. "They talk about that day at the lake, when you fought all those guys," Anders said as he waited for the flame to settle. "Whenever someone's facing odds like that, they call it 'getting LaCrossed.'"
"I can think of a few better words for it." Failure came to mind.

Okay, none of this is a flashback, but it's raising questions for the reader. There are repeated mentions of that day, clues about how he failed, but we don't get the larger picture until page 147, and we don't the full picture of why Eddie left Arentia until page 197, right at the climax of the book.

In "Possessing the Secret to Joy", a woman is haunted by the life she left behind in Africa. She's a broken woman, and the reader can guess pretty early in the book that some terrible tribal initiaion ruined her, but we don't know what happened, not exactly. Walker writes in first person, and shifts between Tashi, her husband Adam, plus some scenes from his son by another woman, and the other woman. Then Walker also shifts back in time, although the flashbacks are mainly in Tashi's POV (if not all; I've already returned the book to the library so I can't double check that. Sorry!)

This is a lot for the reader to orient to, and Walker does some interesting things to help. She labels each chapter simply with the perspective character's name. No chapter title, just the name. And she is very careful to hook the reader at the end of the present scene, then use that hook to pull the reader into the flashback. Like with a chicken that Tashi is terrified of. She paints the chicken on the wall and collapses. Her psychiatrist and husband have no idea why she's painting this bird and they talk about how they're stumped. So the reader wonders, too. Then you see what happened from Tashi's eyes. It's a great technique, because it makes the past seem so real.

I learned a lot studying these books, but I want to throw a word of caution out here. "Possessing the Secret of Joy" was a tough tough read. I was depressed for a few days afterward. It was that awful. Not that Walker was out of line, it's just such a disturbing topic and she made it feel so personal. Also, I caution sensitive readers that "The Sword-edged Blonde" is not a church book club nominee because of the ribald humor and some sexual situations. It's well-written and funny, and the flashbacks are amazingly well done, but if that sort of thing makes you uncomfortable, then I'd keep looking. There. I'm done.  

Anything to add? Any other great flashback books?

Happy writing!
Glutton for Punishment?

How to Eat an Elephant?

Please excuse me for getting a little personal here- I'm working on some posts about flashbacks and pacing and a brilliant post about how I got my agent...I'll let you know as soon as I work out the details on that one! But for now, a bit about writing and how being a Sunday school teacher gave me a little push.

I started writing a few years ago as a result of being a teacher in the Young Women's organization at church. The girls, 12-17 years old, all participate in "Personal Progress," a program with hundreds of activities designed to develop different virtues. These activities could be anything from reading the scriptures daily and recording what they learn to learning a new skill.

In addition, the girls are required to complete a ten-hour project for each of these virtues, and I'd often ask the girls about their progress. As a teacher, I was encouraged to work on my personal progress alongside the girls, and that was why, when an idea flashed through my brain, I picked up a pen and wrote it down. I already had the goal in place and the time had come to act on it.

Two years after beginning to write in earnest, and four years from that first sketch, I realize that my little idea has taken slightly more than ten hours to develop!

It can be done, and here are some things that have helped me.

• Track your progress. Whether you use a star chart or a marker on your bathroom mirror, write down your goals and what you do each day to meet that goal. It doesn't have to be number of words- that only worked for me for the first draft, but perhaps an amount of focused time? Perhaps it will be to mark up so many pages a day with tiny scribbles that seem perfectly legible until you try to decipher them a week later.
• You can write a paragraph in five minutes, and eventually you'll fill a book. It adds up. So don't waste your spare moments. Sometimes they're all we get.
• Eliminate the junk. I don't mean that you can't allow yourself to enjoy some leisure time- even TV can can be a nice break- but if you want to write, you have to give yourself the gift of time to write.
• Don't get upset if you mess up. Start again. Say it with me: Today is the first day of the rest of my life!

How do you stay focused on your goals, whether writing-related or not?

I hope that you all have had a wonderful 2010, that this coming year will find you well and happy. Enjoy this video--it got me a little pumped!


Glutton for Punishment?

Sane, Who Me?

It's that special time of year when we put on some weight, freak out because the scotch tape roll was full yesterday and now everyone is running around with their noses taped to their foreheads and there'll never be enough to wrap these presents, and I just set down the scissors, where did they go?...No! Don't unwrap the presents yet! (true story)

It's been very interesting around my house, and I'm sure things are a little hectic for you, too. That's life, right?

My main defense against stress is to stop doing stuff. I resist *most* attempts to get my kids into extracurricular activites. Good luck to my husband in getting me to the store for a new can of shaving gel if we still have toilet paper.

But we can't not decorate the house for Christmas, or skip our church Christmas party. We spend hours and mind-numbing hours making a present list and shopping, then wrapping all of those items. I feel every one of those minutes. It irks me if I don't make a certain amount of progress every week on the book. I don't mean to be irked, but I am.

Here's the thing I have to remember: It's not all about me. It's about my family, it's about reconnecting with friends and taking the time to show people that they are important. Again, because sometimes I'm incredibly focused on what I want to accomplish: It's not about me.

I should get this since I'm all about quality time (Have you guys all read "The Five Love Languages"? I think that's the most widely read relationship book ever. Great read, btw.)

Some days I feel so grinchy that hubby starts singing the Grinch song to me, and I deserve it, i.e.- I griped about having to put out stockings. So, in order to be a nice, happy person during the holidays, I have set some modest goals.

Kelly's Modest Goals:
1. Do not lose your book. (I warned you they were modest!)

2. No querying in December. Better yet, wait until Jan 15th, after the rush of "New Year's Resolution" queries.

3. Cut back on the internet and use that time to write. Sorry guys. If I have to choose between checking facebook or using that time to get through a few pages today, I have to get a small amount of writing done.

4. Say "no" to some activities. I don't like to say no, but it's good idea.

That's it. No pages per day, no waking up at five for me right now. I tried that on Monday and Tuesday, and after the third snooze alarm, my hubby was not full of Yuletide cheer, so I turned the alarm off.

How do you keep writing during the busiest season of the year?
Glutton for Punishment?

Raising the Stakes...

...Before Driving Them Home in the Breast of Boredom.

He was dying from boredom. It's better this way.

I always have a book on the table while I eat. My kids think it's unfair because I won't let them read while they eat, but they are much more likely to have a spill, so it's just too bad for them.

This morning that book was Story, by Robert McKee. Easily the best book about how to engage an audience that I've ever read. I'm reviewing conflict and act design.

Here're a few tidbits-

Here's a simple test to apply to any story. Ask: What is the risk? What does the protagonist stand to lose if he does not get what he wants? More specifically, what's the worst thing that will happen to the protagonist if he does not achieve his desire?

If this question cannot be answered in a compelling way, the story is misconceived at its core. For example, if the answer is: "Should the protagonist fail, life would go back to normal," this story is not worthy of telling.  

Ouch. Not worthy of telling. Sound like any memoires you've read? I kid, memoire-writers. Or is this one of those jokes that reveals my true feelings?

Okay, let's take this concept down to the scene level. In a particular scene, what happens if your protagonist fails? If it's a return to real life, that's a problem, too. There are building scenes where the conflict is increasing without coming to a conclusion, sure, but there must be risk for the protagonist. There must be stakes, and they must be high.

A crit partner told me that's what her agent commented to her over and over in her edits: Raise the stakes.

In behavioral psychology, there's this term for increasingly desperate behavior called an extinction burst. We all do it. You put a few quarters in the vending machine, press the button. Your drink doesn't come out. You press the button again, a little more firmly. When you press the return change button, it's the same. Nothing. You lift the door, maybe the drink was released and somehow you didn't notice the loud thump as the can landed in the trough, but there's nothing there. So you press the button again, ten times real fast, each time getting harder. Maybe you're a little mad now. You hit the side of the machine, sure that somehow this will work.

In a lot of novels, the protagonist is operating in this way: trying with increasing desperation to get the Coke out of the machine. They would never just walk up to the machine and punch it, but because they are blocked over and over again, they are willing to try just a little bit harder, then a little more, hoping that it will finally work.

Incidentally, giving in when a child is in the midst of an extinction burst is the best way to teach them that desperate behavior works. It sets you up for years of buying candy in the checkout line at the grocery. So don't give in when kids are kicking and screaming. They are so close to giving up and getting on with their lives. That makes for a boring novel, though. In writing, we want to increase desperation.

Here's one more quote from Story:

A story must not retreat to actions of lesser quality or magnitude, but move progressively forward to a final action beyond which the audience cannot imagine another.  

You can't have your protagonist discover a baseball bat, and walk toward the Coke machine at the end of the chapter, then have them find 75 cents in their pocket at the opening of the next chapter. Wouldn't they have checked their pockets for more change before they considered destroying the machine? Raise the stakes, one step at a time. Lead the character to the climax, where they will do something they never could have seen coming on page one.

I hope you all had an amazing Thanksgiving. I love having a few days off to be with the family and revel in all of my blessings. Happy Writing!
Glutton for Punishment?