Recharge and Query Update

I've taken a couple of weeks off from writing and read a bunch of books, but I'm almost ready to plunge back into writing "Breathings." It took 30k words to get a handle on the characters (I just figured out that MC's mom is crucial to the MCs oddities), so I kind of want to restart on page one with what I know now, but the other part of me wants to pound out the full first draft. Whatever. The good thing is I'm ready to get back to work.

While I've not been writing, I rewrote my query letter and sent it out to the next batch of agents.

My stats so far-
30 queries sent
9 query rejects
4 requests for partials
1 partial still out, 3 rejected.

This is a little skewed in my favor, because the requests I got were from an agent I pitched, an agent he referred me to, an agent my crit partner signed with, and one was a cold query. 

For those of you preparing to query or just curious, here's my query body:

Dear Agent,

I hope you will be intrigued by my my paranormal romance, WAYS TO FALL. The manuscript is complete at 105,000 words and should appeal to older teens and adults.


Lara, an empath, and her emotionally damaged “sisters” were kidnapped by Mother from their Outsider families and given the gift of immortality. Lara never questions Mother’s policy of suppressing their memories until one sister recalls her life Outside and despairs. Mother curses the young woman with eternal Sleep, insisting there is no other way to protect Lara from absorbing the girl’s feelings. Lara hopes that if she can understand how Outsiders survive their terrible experiences, she can find a way to truly heal her sisters and save their fragile, Edenic world.

Defying Mother, Lara enters the sacred caves and is transported to a sinkhole-turned-crime-scene, where she is arrested by the FBI as a suspected kidnapper. Agent David Hatton, an emotionally detached behavior specialist, is fascinated by the way Lara’s skin changes colors in reaction to his volatile partner’s emotions. He fears Lara will die if he can’t isolate her, so with FBI approval he fakes a rescue from the field office and orders the squad to keep out of Lara’s perception range. Lara and Agent Hatton hike through the quiet woods of North Florida, and their tenuous friendship develops into a soul-deep attraction. When Lara must choose between freeing her sisters and saving Agent Hatton’s life, she discovers the cost of falling, both from Mother’s grace and into love.

I am a member of the Online Writer's Workshop for Science Fiction, Fantasy, and Horror and hold a B.S. in psychology from the University of Florida. I currently live in Columbia, SC with my husband and children.

I've included sample pages and a synopsis below.

Thank you,

Kelly Bryson

So, that's it. I'll let you know in a few weeks how it goes.

For those interested, I've read/am reading

• The Jane Eyre Affair (smart funny, 4 stars),
• The Blue Sword (LOVED it 5 stars. Thanks for the recommend, Myrna! I've requested the second book from the library),
• Fever, 1793 (historical kid lit, 5 stars),
• Fallen (good angel story, if you're into that),
• Fallen Angel (another good angel story, if you're into that.),
• Halo (another good angel story, if you're into that),
• Before I Fall (contemporary YA, good story, well written, not fantastical enough for me. Too much partying to hold my interest),
• The Prestige (loved the movie, the book was different but very good. Would have been better if I hadn't seen the movie), and I've started
• City of Saints and Madmen (on pg 10) and
• The Ranger's Apprentice (just starting, but my 10 yo says, "It's amazing! You have to read it Mom!").

Happy Writing!