A Blind Eye

I'm 6 years behind, but I just finished "The Time Traveler's Wife" by Audrey Niffenegger.
My sister said the movie wasn't great, but the trailer explains the premise of the book pretty well.



This is less a book review, more of a book club discussion with myself. This book was really amazing...but I have mixed feelings. When you start to write, you start to understand why shows have so much murder and fights and sex. It's entertaining. That's what writers and actors do. They take us to the highest highs and the lowest lows and let us experience situations without having to live with the consequences. I think that can be good and bad. It depends.

Like many avid readers, I disappear into books. I hear nothing, see nothing but the story. And when I pause a story, it's disorienting, so I like to read books all the way through, regardless of the number of pages. But even when I'm done, I get echoes of scenes in my head. So when I read a book where a child dies, I remember how that affected the other characters and hug my kids a little tighter. If the story involves lost love, my gratitude for my husband is renewed.

'The Time  Traveler's Wife' was beautiful. When I was done, I held my children. I kissed my husband. And I thought about who we are becoming. What kind of a person he will be in twenty years? Who will I be? I hope that we will be better than we are now.

But some echoes leave me feeling icky. I wish that there wasn't the scene where Henry is alone with himself in his bedroom and his dad walks in. Thankfully, the writing was vague. Throughout the book, the reader is present in the bedroom with Henry and Clare, but I do not think that the writing was meant to arouse as much as it was to explain how important sex was in the lives of these characters. It was a force of bonding, reconciliation, healing, 'a means to an end' for Clare, and a type of gravity for Henry. Is it not so important in all of our lives?

Do those scenes ruin the book for me? My brain thinks that it should have, yet I still felt uplifted. I'm not sure how that works. If you have characters having sex before they're married, but they've already met when he's thirty-something and they know they're going to get married, is it still as bad? And how much information is TMI?

I really liked the idea that if we could know who our spouses were going to become, we wouldn't mind the wait. So, I'm glad I read most of it. How about you?
Glutton for Punishment?

A little tolerance, please…

I wasn't sure about my tone in this, so I pulled it after a few hours, but rereading it now, I feel like posting it. Perhaps the context of my recent posts makes this make more sense.

Mari Mercado, an IB (International Bacchalaureate) student is faced with either reading a sexually graphic book or flunking the class. From the article:

"I read a lot. I'm an avid reader and I have an active imagination," she said. And when it comes to the passages she saw in her school assignment, "I'd rather not try to imagine it."

Do you really want to carry trash around... in your head?

Inflammatory, isn't it? You can tell by the large, red font. I did a tally of the first three pages of comments (about sixty), and this is where the chips fell:

Get Back, Religious Zealot! (waves garlic and wooden stake, 'cause they're sure not using a silver cross): 58%

We're not worried about her, but You're Going to Hell: 40%

You spells pornographic wrong: 1%

Well, your dumb. 1%

And to give you the actual, non-exaggerrated flavor, here's four strongly worded responses.

•Abbi from St. Pete- Another instance where compromise is shoved down a Christian's throat. If 16 year olds can't buy a porn mag, why is it okay for them to read about this in school?

•Mimi from New Port Richey - This is a 3rd year student in the program. She couldn't know what type of book she'd be reading in 11th grade when she signed up in 9th. Even if you don't agree, we need to ensure personal preferences are guaranteed in this county. Freedom!

•from dunedin- Grow up! The only reason people see this as controversial is because people make it that way. I went to a catholic high school and we read The Color Purple...parents had a hissy fit and we lost good literature because of it.

•Maire from clearwater- What is she going to do in college when told to read something she does not like? Life is supposed to revolve around her? How selfish.

Basically, I see the supporters viewing her refusal to read the book as a courageous act of personal integrity, but the majority think she needs to unwad her panties. Or, better yet, buy a thong (my interpretation of their remarks). You can also check out this discussion on Nathan Bransford's blog last week.

The article does not state what Mari's reasons are, but it mentions that she is a leader of the Christian club. The readers picked up on that, and several people (4 or 5) told her to give up on Yale and MIT because she doesn't want to read about other people boinging each other. Seriously?

Dave from SPHS IB Alum
She doesn't deserve to be in the IB program with her attitude. Should she get through and get into a secular accredited college, she will have to endure reading many other things she will doubtlessly be 'totally against'. Bible College awaits.

I would add that someone who doesn't smoke pot or drink has no business going to any college, but somehow a few people manage it. Like this clean cut Mormon gal at Harvard. Seriously, it's a great interview.

I don't believe that people re-enact every behavior they see and read, but it DOES affect world-view and what you think of as normal. Read up on concept formation and the role of memory in cognitive psychology. Here's a previous blog on Kelly's model of memory and why I'm careful about what I put in my brain.

It sounds to me like neither side wants to be told what they can or can't read. I say fine. Read whatever you want, but let her do the same. Why is it so insulting to say "I don't feel this book is appropriate for me"? That's what I'm trying to teach my kids- not that they should judge others, but that they are the first judge of what is good for them.

I checked out "Living Dead in Dallas" by Charlaine Harris- the second in the Sookie Stackhouse vampire mysteries. I haven't read any of her other stuff, but I want her agent, Eddie Schneider, to represent me (hello Eddie!) so I'm looking at other works he's represented. I had a great reason for reading this book, right? I loved it...until I got to the sex. If I want some romance, I will experience the details ONLY with my husband, even if that attitude keeps me out of MIT.

Here're some resources for those that are so inclined:a blog with clean book reviews! And another one that rates books like movies!

Ummm. I think I would just cross my legs!

Glutton for Punishment?