Open Mouth, Insert foot

A few weeks ago a blogger got up on a soapbox and blasted a group of people that make up roughly half the country. I stopped following her blog. I agreed with her overall point, but the angry tone bothered me, and I thought she was misrepresenting the opposite side.
I've read some authors' blogs that seem to effortlessly combine personal and professional, and I'm trying to do that. I know enough not to get into politics, potty training, and  religion...but really? What if the politicians are debating a potty training bill and I have some religious objections? How can I not blog about that?

So, I've been thinking about blog content and what my personal rules are.

Why blog?

We all want to be understood and writing is a way to express yourself (and my preferred venue). Plus there's something nice about someone leaving a comment.

A lot of readers develop a friendly mindset towards 'their' authors and like to get to know them better. It helped me to be a better mom/writer when I read Shannon Hale's blog. We can encourage each other.

But I wish I hadn't sought out info on a few writers, just like it bothers me to know too much about some actors/actresses. It kills the magic when someone gets arrested doing something icky, for instance.

Does there have to be a general match between your blog tone and your books?

I think that happens naturally- the things that interest you enough to put in a book are probably the same things you blog about.

But I have avoided talking about religion here because it is not 'professional'. But this is about writing, and I write around religious topics. My characters are not perfect, some believe in God some don't-much like the people I know in real life. Is my self-imposed taboo on religion misplaced? I'm still thinking about that. It's such a personal part of me- one I like to talk about, but only if I'm sure the other party is interested.

How much is too much?

I don't generally have impulses to whine on the blog about other people, but it's important to remember that the internet is forever. I NEVER write anything that I would not want my husband, my mother, or my church friends to read. Even down to the books I review.

And I have a few long-standing conversational rules that I try to apply- never make it all about yourself, ask questions, don't complain, don't say anything about someone that you wouldn't say to their face, and do what you can to help others be happy.

I try to remember that it's a 'blog', not a 'bdiary', and I have a special notebook to write my personal thoughts in. And I don't share that I burned dinner (unless I was writing when I smelled the smoke), dentist appointments (except here), or that my kids call Burger King 'King Booger'. That's on my family blog. Just because I can type it doesn't mean that everybody wants to read it.

What are your guidelines? Do you lean towards personal or professional?
Glutton for Punishment?

A little tolerance, please…

I wasn't sure about my tone in this, so I pulled it after a few hours, but rereading it now, I feel like posting it. Perhaps the context of my recent posts makes this make more sense.

Mari Mercado, an IB (International Bacchalaureate) student is faced with either reading a sexually graphic book or flunking the class. From the article:

"I read a lot. I'm an avid reader and I have an active imagination," she said. And when it comes to the passages she saw in her school assignment, "I'd rather not try to imagine it."

Do you really want to carry trash around... in your head?

Inflammatory, isn't it? You can tell by the large, red font. I did a tally of the first three pages of comments (about sixty), and this is where the chips fell:

Get Back, Religious Zealot! (waves garlic and wooden stake, 'cause they're sure not using a silver cross): 58%

We're not worried about her, but You're Going to Hell: 40%

You spells pornographic wrong: 1%

Well, your dumb. 1%

And to give you the actual, non-exaggerrated flavor, here's four strongly worded responses.

•Abbi from St. Pete- Another instance where compromise is shoved down a Christian's throat. If 16 year olds can't buy a porn mag, why is it okay for them to read about this in school?

•Mimi from New Port Richey - This is a 3rd year student in the program. She couldn't know what type of book she'd be reading in 11th grade when she signed up in 9th. Even if you don't agree, we need to ensure personal preferences are guaranteed in this county. Freedom!

•from dunedin- Grow up! The only reason people see this as controversial is because people make it that way. I went to a catholic high school and we read The Color Purple...parents had a hissy fit and we lost good literature because of it.

•Maire from clearwater- What is she going to do in college when told to read something she does not like? Life is supposed to revolve around her? How selfish.

Basically, I see the supporters viewing her refusal to read the book as a courageous act of personal integrity, but the majority think she needs to unwad her panties. Or, better yet, buy a thong (my interpretation of their remarks). You can also check out this discussion on Nathan Bransford's blog last week.

The article does not state what Mari's reasons are, but it mentions that she is a leader of the Christian club. The readers picked up on that, and several people (4 or 5) told her to give up on Yale and MIT because she doesn't want to read about other people boinging each other. Seriously?

Dave from SPHS IB Alum
She doesn't deserve to be in the IB program with her attitude. Should she get through and get into a secular accredited college, she will have to endure reading many other things she will doubtlessly be 'totally against'. Bible College awaits.

I would add that someone who doesn't smoke pot or drink has no business going to any college, but somehow a few people manage it. Like this clean cut Mormon gal at Harvard. Seriously, it's a great interview.

I don't believe that people re-enact every behavior they see and read, but it DOES affect world-view and what you think of as normal. Read up on concept formation and the role of memory in cognitive psychology. Here's a previous blog on Kelly's model of memory and why I'm careful about what I put in my brain.

It sounds to me like neither side wants to be told what they can or can't read. I say fine. Read whatever you want, but let her do the same. Why is it so insulting to say "I don't feel this book is appropriate for me"? That's what I'm trying to teach my kids- not that they should judge others, but that they are the first judge of what is good for them.

I checked out "Living Dead in Dallas" by Charlaine Harris- the second in the Sookie Stackhouse vampire mysteries. I haven't read any of her other stuff, but I want her agent, Eddie Schneider, to represent me (hello Eddie!) so I'm looking at other works he's represented. I had a great reason for reading this book, right? I loved it...until I got to the sex. If I want some romance, I will experience the details ONLY with my husband, even if that attitude keeps me out of MIT.

Here're some resources for those that are so inclined:a blog with clean book reviews! And another one that rates books like movies!

Ummm. I think I would just cross my legs!

Glutton for Punishment?