Obstacle or Opportunity?

In theory, there should be more time to write in summer. No lunches to pack, homework to do, activities or practices to drive anyone to. But it's SUMMER. Which means fun family time. In addition to my own kids, I had a niece and my little sister come visit (which we all loved), then an exchange student from Spain (Marcos, we miss you, still). Out of 10 weeks, someone extra was in our house for 7 (Or we were visiting them).

Plus, we're still doing lots of projects around the house (Emma has window treatments and her room is painted, and we FINALLY installed a light kit and no wires are exposed!)

It would be easy-so very very easy- to get frustrated about the distractions of life. I just want to write the scene and be done! Why can't I just have a few hours of quiet???

So, I was given a wake up call.

Last week, I was privileged to become the leader of the Young Women's organization in our ward (or congregation.) In the Mormon church, a person is always given a special blessing to help them be able to fulfill their new responsibilities, called "setting apart." During this blessing, I was promised many things- strength and insight into the girls so that I will be able to support them and love them, and also that the desires of my heart will be realized.

Sometimes my mind feels like it's exploding during blessings, racing to understand, and this was one of those times. What is the desire of my heart? Is it to be published? Is it for my family to be close to the Savior, for all of us to return together to Heavenly Father? I'm a convert, so there are so many beloved family members that I have pined to share my faith with. Do I have to choose between these desires?

I hope not. I'm sure he wouldn't want me to stop loving and supporting my family. Would Heavenly Father want me to give up writing? Writing is about sharing my hopes and optimism for people, it's an expression of love. Right?

And yet, I can't begin to compare how I would feel to fail at the second (family) with how it would feel to fail at the first (publishing).

Which is not to say that I will stop writing, not a chance, but hopefully I won't be so grumpy when the kids interrupt sacred writing time over stupid stuff like somebody bleeding. ("Is your arm broken? No? Is someone going to die unless I come out right now? No? Then go away until my writing time is up. Does that come across as selfish, or is that establishing healthy boundaries? lol)

Anyway, I'm trying to find that balance again. I've decided that Jojo learning letters via Wii internet doesn't count as video game time, and that's made my days a little less guilty with a lonely 4yo at home. He was crying today that Eli (7yo) went to school and can't play with him. Luckily we are starting preschool co-op soon...

More soon. Because school is back in session and the Wii is warmed up and ready to go:)
Glutton for Punishment?

Summer is Over, People!

The trips are over, the lazy days at the pool are done, because school starts on Thursday for us. Just one last trip up to Mama's house today, and that's it.

This is First Day of School from a couple of years ago, but they're still about that cute.

I'm practicing commonly used phrases-

• Your breath still stinks. Go brush again.
• I don't know where your shoes are, but they're whereever you left them.
• Five more minutes and this bus is leaving!
• Walk fast! The bell rings in two minutes!
• Sit down and finish your homework.
• Why are you up? Finish your homework.
• Finish your homework. You're not allowed to jump on the couches until AFTER your homework is done.

I'm missing some, but you get it.

I've come up with a writing time plan to help me stay accountable, and to help me realize that there are really only so many hours in the day, so if I blow an hour watching Youtube, I won't get it back unless I allow my kids' brains to atrophy by letting them veg in front of the tv, which I don't like to do. They fight a lot more and are way more whiny when I've gone that route.

So- my plan-
M-F 5-7am=    10 hours
M-F 8:30-10=  7.5 hours
Sat 7-10=          3 hours
Preschool 2x/week = 5 hours
Total=25.5 hours of potential writing time

25 seems like a lot of time, and it is, but I don't actually use all of that time wisely. I'm going to keep a log for a few weeks and see how I do. I lose time by sleeping in, which gets me off sinc with my hubby, who is trying to maximize his triathlon training time by getting up at 5 also. And I lose writing time by still not having much self control with books- I have a compulsion to read books all in one sitting.

I've actually gotten up at 5 a few times this Summer, only to be so haunted by the book I was forced to put down the night before (thanks, honey. I do hate book hangover) that I got up ridiculously early and finished a book. It's so dumb, but my brain won't let me slip back out of stories. So I read Mistborn by Brandon Sanderson basically ALL Saturday (great book, by the way. He has very strong male and female characters, and has made up some really cool magic). The kids can't distract me when I'm in my reading zone. Nothing can.

Do you have a plan? Do you have a goal? Haven't you read '7 Habits of Highly Effective People'? lol
I'll share my goal on Thursday. Happy Writing!
Glutton for Punishment?

Comfort Zone

Where do you write?

I look for a place that is quiet, and when that fails, I look for a room with a door that locks and my ipod. And when that makes me feel like a bad mom, I'll sit on the back porch with my laptop and squint at the screen while the kids chase each other around the neighbor's yards.

When the sun gets too bright, I'll open an umbrella and sit under that, but then the screen looks all stripey and I can't stop checking out my hair in my reflection, and then I move inside to the kitchen table and crack a window so that I can still hear what's going on.

The problem here is that I waste a lot of time trying to write, trying to remember what I was thinking five minutes ago, before [insert child's name] came crying home with a scraped knee, and I put some Neosporin on it and a bandaid, but the Neosporin smeared and now the bandaid won't stick and [insert other child's name] is crying because[insert neighbor child's name] told them they couldn't play 'soldier hide-out' because my child won't give them the big watergun, that is actually neighbor child's weapon.

So, I get a teensy bit frustrated.

But...

School is back in. Three kids down, one to go.

Jojo does all the standard things a 2 1/2 year old does. He stands on the couch next to me and jumps, wets his pants for attention (I studied functional behavior from the man who invented it at college, so I'm sure what the function of this behavior is.), lays on the floor with his shoes clutched to his chest and cries, "Weady go, Mommy!" As in "I'm ready to go to the park/pool/YMCA/store/playgroup/Granna's/eat lunch with Daddy/walk/ride bikes/sidewalk chalk/just get me out of this house!

Sometimes I feel like that as a writer. I have six hours a week (when noone is sick- last week I got zero hours due to illness)to write in solitaire. I will drop off Jonas at my friend's house for preschool and have 3.0 hours to do whatever I want. She lives 20 minuites away, but the library is only 5 minutes away from her house, so I go to the library. It is a small, 24'x40' building, but there are several desks and comfortable chairs (really- my toosh didn't fall asleep at all last time)and it is QUIET. A heaven on earth. I get more done there, away from my messes and refrigerator than I do in any six hours at home.

I don't want to misconstrue things. I love my kids and they are amazing and so fun.

I'm just speaking to the frustration of having a reasonable goal- such as edit one chapter a week- and not being able to get it done! My family is my life, and I was happy without writing, but I wouldn't be happy without them. I do need some time to work on my goals, and writing satisfies my creative itch. I'm trying to set some boundaries for writing and children, because good fences make good neighbors.

How do you carve out time for yourself- whatever it is you do for you?

I drove car pool yesterday, and all the kids had watched Obama's speech. My kids couldnt remember anything that he had said, but Neighbor Girl and Boy informed me that he'd said a Bad Word.

"What word?"

"I can't say it."

"It's okay. I just want to know what it was. You won't get in trouble."

"The 's' word."

My kids nod, solemnly remembering the moment of horror.

"The 'ST' word!" girl chimes in.

Ahhh, this is why everyone was so worried. I dig and, though noone will say the word, find that Obama said that even if you make mistakes, it doesn't mean you're "that word." I'm okay with that message. Have a great day!
Glutton for Punishment?