THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT: Authors, do not send out your manuscripts until they are ready. Agents and editors will remember, even if they don't know that they're remembering. I'll explain. 
Whenever I see the fractal pattern of an MRI, I am reminded of how I felt standing at the lip of the Grand Canyon.
On real MRI film, I recognize the amygdala, the frontal cortex, and the hippocampus, but that's about it. People who study the brain can learn a bit more, but there is still a limit to how much they can process, and how detailed they get. How long would it take to sort through all of the millions of neurons that fire while you decide if you want to watch "Fear Factor" or "Dancing with the Stars"? But computers can do it in real time.
I listened to an interview on NPR of Orson Scott Card yesterday, and he said that if he knew what story would get a response like ENDER'S GAME, he would have written it. Card has been extremely successful, so it's hard to feel bad for him, but I know what he means. As a writer, you want to touch people and connect with them. If you're not doing that, you might as well write textbooks. Textbooks on brain imaging, perhaps.
Check out this video of an fMRI of a brain watching the trailer for "Avatar". Amazing, huh?
What images illicited the strongest responses? The alien? The kiss?
Will we put people in an MRI and watch their brain while we read our entire book to them? Our editor might come to us and say, "Cut this paragraph. The test listener wasn't engaged. And Ch. 7 needs a bump. Can Wanda slap Gregory then? Or they could have sex. Either one."
The funny thing is that the first fMRI done was by researchers trying to understand "The Pepsi Challenge" blind taste test (and now Pepsi, according to this *wink* article, is done with trying to change people. Thanks, Jeff). Researchers wondered why people would continue to drink Coke if some of them liked the taste of Pepsi better. They discovered that emotions help process decisions. I don't drink Co-cola anymore, but I still think of it fondly, because my grandma loved a snickers bar and a coke. LOVED them. Together. And when I think of Coke, a tiny part of my brain accesses my memories of her. EVERYTHING we look at gets checked against our previous experience.
It's a little tricky ethically. Input changes brain chemistry. Would you like it if someone wanted you to buy Miracle Whip and injected dopamine into your brain so you'll put some in your shopping cart? Watch this (ten seconds will be plenty to get the gist. Miracle Whip is the new beer.) and tell me if that's not the intention. In the comments below the video, however, people- apparently young people- are a little, shall we say, confused about this new direction, and someone compares Miracle Whip to orthopedic shoes. In other words, "Don't bother, MW. You're not cool." Neuromarketing says it doesn't matter too much what the hipsters say, the association between MW and cool is being made.
Are we ruled by these associations? No. Are these associations bad? Not necessarily. But think about this:
At the marketing meeting hubby went to, the speaker, Steve Whigham, told a story about a marketing guy who approached a bum and gave him ten bucks to let M.G. write the bum a new sign. The bum agreed, and M.G. left for an hour and then came back to see how the new sign was working. The bum gave him his ten bucks back and told him how great the sign had worked- instead of the usual $6-7 a day, he'd made $60. And what did the sign say?
"What if you were hungry?" Simple empathy.
Is marketing reminding us of things we already decided or manipulating us? I don't know.
For Thursday- my first experience with Sonic and a new game system with a foil hat. Yep. It reads your mind.
Answer: 1984
I did some brainstorming on marketing. Skywriting is my favorite. How I would love to look up at the beach and see my first scene written in one mile high letters (that's the size of the letters, not the altitude. Really.) It's almost dramatic enough for this writer's ego. Perhaps if the entire throng of beachgoers were taking notes, slack-jawed and/or teary-eyed…Oh. Hello. I forgot you were here. Ahem. Sorry about that.
I said last time that the average person is exposed to 30,000 advertisements a day (according to marketing guru Steve Whigham). How do you get your book to stand out among all of those? And WHAT has to stand out? Do you need a bright yellow cover? An Oprah's book club sticker? (Yes. Give her your soul. She will sell a lot of books and your soul will get time with Dr. Oz and Dr. Phil, so your soul will be self-embracing and in a happy place, surrounded by Oprah's favorite things.)
Let's talk about Oprah's book club. Love it or hate it, a recommendation from Oprah sells. Why?
Steve claims that 95% of decisions are emotional (based on brain-imaging studies- more below on this.) So how does Oprah make us feel? I notice four basic responses.
2. Casual Oprahphiles- tune in every once in a while, maybe thumb through her magazine in the checkout. She says some interesting things and most of it is pretty good. These people have read at least one of her other book picks- possibly because their book club picked it- and they're willing to give her recommendation a chance. They like how they feel after watching Oprah- grateful that their life isn't so messed up, hopeful and ready to put their life in order, serious about fixing the ills in the world, etc.
3. Oprah Indifferents- Think, "Crap. She recommended another book. Everybody is going to read it and be talking about it, so I should, too." A lot of 'book people' may fall into this group. (In a parallel example, the buzz around Dan Brown's "The Lost Symbol" has made some people read it, just so they could weigh in) This is, as are the rest of my Oprah categories, merely conjecture.
Notice that these categories are related to identity (If I read these books, I am a good, caring person. Oprah said so.) Reactionaries have an opposite though equally strong emotion, which I will call non-identity. (I will not become a sheep in Oprah's herd.)
So you can send Oprah emails every day until she asks you on the show, you can drop leaflets from planes (think propaganda drops during WWII), stick flyers on people's windshields, tables at cultural events like fairs,tattoos, blogging, spamming, become best friends with the indie (independent) bookstores within a twelve-hour drive of your home, etc. Lots of people spend a lot of money looking at what motivates people to buy.Did you know supermarkets use video of customers to measure time spend in a store, time standing in the aisle waffling about what to buy, observing what products people go straight for (and thus should be advertised outside, since by the time they get inside the decision is already made)?
I've wondered why they stick books like "Coffees of the World" and "The Ultimate Tulip Guide" in the entry way at Barnes and Nobles. Marketing people call it "decompression", and the purpose is to ease us into the shopping experience, to let our brains adjust. I think they use those books to give us some easy decisions. To give us confidence that we are in control. It reminds me a bit of a lobster trap. Here's another trap-
"Often a customer struggling to decide which of two items is best ends up not buying either. A third "decoy" item, which is not quite as good as the other two, can make the choice easier and more pleasurable, according to a new study using fMRI carried out by Akshay Rao, a professor of marketing at the University of Minnesota. Happier customers are more likely to buy. Dr Rao believes the deliberate use of irrelevant alternatives should work in selling all sorts of goods and services, from cable TV to holidays." (From this article in "The Economist")
So, the ideal situation would be to have a table with your book, the bestseller comp book, and a decoy book, like "Famous Quidditch Matches in Hogwarts History" or "The Life and Times of Dr. Carlisle Cullen". You'll have some fans that will pick the decoy, but most people want to relive the emotion of a golden book. They've already read the golden book, the decoy is out, and that leaves your book. Which looks pretty interesting, actually. In his email newsletter, "Daily Kick in the Pants", David Farland says this:"In fact, most purchases that most active readers make are based upon the fact that the book resonates with other works that they have enjoyed. The readers almost never make a conscious connection, but it is there.
"As I mentioned the other day, we choose the category of fiction that we do because we are looking for a certain type of controlling emotion in our work. The word "genre" doesn't really explain what we're doing when we choose our fiction. Instead, the sections in the bookstore ought to be titled "Wonder, Romance, Drama, Intrigue, and so on...
"Sometimes the resonance that induces us to buy a book comes from the cover. My own fantasy novels have covers by Darrel Sweet. Sweet of course is famous for doing the covers for Terry Brooks and Robert Jordan, two of our best-sellers of all time. So when readers look at my novels, they are immediately reminded of books by those authors."
Nature abhors a vacuum. Apparently, so does the world of literature. Just weeks after the announcement that Reading Rainbow would be a warm memory/Trivial Pursuit question, Osama Bin Laden has stepped up to help Americans fill their bookshelves.
After last week's controversial picks, he decided to go with a classic: To Kill a Mockingbird, by Harper Lee.
Mr. Bin Laden says, "The only thing that could improve this great literary work would be if it were set in Mecca." He also comments that the scene where the rabid dog forced the community indoors and Atticus Finch—whom he refers to as Atabak al-Finzi—arms himself and shoots down the foaming, stumbling dog (representative of the Great Satan, America) was personally inspiring.
"A man willing to sacrifice his life to set a people free is an example to our martyrs," Osama explained.
In a twist, Osama discusses one of his least favorite books, "A Very Hungry Caterpillar," which exposes the consuming and destructive nature of Western Civilization. Says Mr. Bin Laden, "It doesn't stop eating. This book trains American children, from a very young age, to oppress others. We would never let our children wallow like pigs in this filth."
In closing, Mr. Bin Laden said, "Of course, you don't have to take my word for it."
For Thursday, marketing. Do you know how much marketing the average person is exposed to daily? According to a marketing seminar my hubby attended, 30,000. Yep. Thirty THOUSAND. I'll give some ideas about how you can make that can work in your favor.
Love is in the Hair...
I don't remember learning that Santa wasn't real, or finding out where babies come from. But I read my first book (Max the Cat) sitting at our dining room table in Tamarac, Florida when I was four or five. I remember reading my first poem to my mom and that it rhymed dove and love. We were in our old blue and white conversion van, driving from our home in Ft. Lauderdale to Tampa to visit the grandparents. My mom told me she loved it, and I was so proud of myself.
I dug through a box of my old diaries and yearbooks yesterday. I found the poem I read to my first boyfriend when he stopped calling, entitled 'Mimes Suck'. What sophisticated imagery!
I'm glad I hadn't thrown away the diaries because, though painfully adolescent and confusing, they're a great resource if I ever want to write from a teenage girl's perspective. *wink*
I also found the lit magazine from my senior year in high school. Before I found it again, all I remembered about this poem was that I'd used the word rape, and I'd wondered if people interpreted that to be an event in my life. (It actually referred to the forceful nature of love, changing us without consent.) A lot was going on at this time- hormones, with my parents' divorce, death in the family, hormones, and the fact that my first love didn't last. No kidding, huh? Here it is, warts and all:
A candle sits there aflame
The wax melts into the form that it came
The fire burns the candle's thread,
A puddle grows by her whose strength has fled.
This flame too hot to let live,
This type flame has never a thing to give.
Curse the match who struck this spark
By the candle who ever bears this mark
Of cold wax which has no shape,
This gray pool is the one sign of rape.
This fire once long wished for
Was late seen not as an escape door.
It should not be wanted so,
For this love flame burns with a hurting blow.
None is in love always
And smoky storms cover love's bright gold rays.
So, new candle, fresh in mind,
Avoid the hot flame which melts all your kind.
In a Zen-writing book "Writing Down the Bones" Natalie Goldberg purports(that's the first time I've used that word) that everybody has to write their quota of junk before they can get to the 'good' stuff. Here's a review that matches my opinion.
What did you do with your old journals and bad poetry? (everybody has some, right?)Was writing a chore, a joy, therapy, a friend, a burden in your formative years?
Check back tomorrow for Osama's weekly book picks.
This article from "Backspace" (retelling the 1996 cut of book supply drivers intimately familiar with their routes and the resulting drops in sales and pressure on the remaining books) is what prompted my dream. The great thing is that people will be their own market specialists in the near future- if Amazon hasn't done that already.
Mari Mercado, an IB (International Bacchalaureate) student is faced with either reading a sexually graphic book or flunking the class. From the article:
"I read a lot. I'm an avid reader and I have an active imagination," she said. And when it comes to the passages she saw in her school assignment, "I'd rather not try to imagine it."
You spells pornographic wrong: 1%
And to give you the actual, non-exaggerrated flavor, here's four strongly worded responses.
•Mimi from New Port Richey - This is a 3rd year student in the program. She couldn't know what type of book she'd be reading in 11th grade when she signed up in 9th. Even if you don't agree, we need to ensure personal preferences are guaranteed in this county. Freedom!
Basically, I see the supporters viewing her refusal to read the book as a courageous act of personal integrity, but the majority think she needs to unwad her panties. Or, better yet, buy a thong (my interpretation of their remarks). You can also check out this discussion on Nathan Bransford's blog last week.
The article does not state what Mari's reasons are, but it mentions that she is a leader of the Christian club. The readers picked up on that, and several people (4 or 5) told her to give up on Yale and MIT because she doesn't want to read about other people boinging each other. Seriously?
Dave from SPHS IB Alum
She doesn't deserve to be in the IB program with her attitude. Should she get through and get into a secular accredited college, she will have to endure reading many other things she will doubtlessly be 'totally against'. Bible College awaits.
I would add that someone who doesn't smoke pot or drink has no business going to any college, but somehow a few people manage it. Like this clean cut Mormon gal at Harvard. Seriously, it's a great interview.
I don't believe that people re-enact every behavior they see and read, but it DOES affect world-view and what you think of as normal. Read up on concept formation and the role of memory in cognitive psychology. Here's a previous blog on Kelly's model of memory and why I'm careful about what I put in my brain.
It sounds to me like neither side wants to be told what they can or can't read. I say fine. Read whatever you want, but let her do the same. Why is it so insulting to say "I don't feel this book is appropriate for me"? That's what I'm trying to teach my kids- not that they should judge others, but that they are the first judge of what is good for them.
I checked out "Living Dead in Dallas" by Charlaine Harris- the second in the Sookie Stackhouse vampire mysteries. I haven't read any of her other stuff, but I want her agent, Eddie Schneider, to represent me (hello Eddie!) so I'm looking at other works he's represented. I had a great reason for reading this book, right? I loved it...until I got to the sex. If I want some romance, I will experience the details ONLY with my husband, even if that attitude keeps me out of MIT.
Here're some resources for those that are so inclined:a blog with clean book reviews! And another one that rates books like movies!
I am a woman plagued by projects.
I was talking to my sister, Jenny, who is an AMAZING artist and clothing designer, about her recent meet 'n greet with a brand representative Urban Outfitters corporate (she's the set designer in the Urban in Salt Lake City). The woman asked her where she gets her ideas, and Jenny said to me (nicely) that that is a question that people who create do not ask. They know that you take a butterfly net with you everywhere you go, collecting things until some of them fit together.
You don't have to know when you're going to use an idea, just that it appeals to you, that it feels real. For instance, the grass in front of a church we drive by is bare in places like the bald patches of fur on a mangy dog. I have no place to use that right now, but maybe I will one day. Maybe in my next novel Atum-Re (or whatever her name ends up being) will journey into a fertile land that an army has marched through and that is how the earth will look to her. I don't know.
Another example--I was struggling to come up with a way to transport my current protagonist between worlds. Then we went swimming in a cenote, a sacred sinkhole that was a religious center for the ancient Mayans. They believed it was an entryway into the spirit world, which was perfect.
I tend to get bored with things—my long-suffering husband has dealt with too many 90% completed projects to count (but who doesn't like sheets of drywall leaned against the kitchen wall for a year?)—so sticking with one story has been a struggle.
I decided a year ago that my novel is the priority. I keep a list of edits to make and when I'm tired of going in order, I'll pick something from the list. I'm doing my third edit onscreen (I'm in Ch. 17, I think) and my fourth edit on paper (Ch. Ten- just finished nine this morning. Yea me!)
In my defense, short stories are part of my long-term goal of being a (paid) writer. I am trying to get some publishing credentials so I'll have something to put at the bottom of my query letter, and the process of getting a short story published should teach me a few things. Because how can you hope to hold a reader through four hundred pages if you can't hold them through ten?
To keep sane (relatively, at least), I take every Sunday off from writing or other projects. It's a time to relax and clear my mind. But every Monday morning, I start thinking about it again, and then it's go go go!
For me, the trouble is not getting ideas, but deciding which one to chase. Which is my next topic. Any tips?
I was concerned about letting people know what my story is about at first, too. But now that I'm talking to writers and understanding how much work it is to get something publish-worthy, I think the feedback I get from OWW far outweighs any risk. Everybody on their has their own "baby" that they're nurturing, and it's just too much work to take someone else's incomplete idea. Anyway, you only post up to three chapters at a time, and someone would have to stalk you for months to get the full story, and you don't have to post the polished version if you don't want to.
In addition, your computer files have save dates on them, and if someone uses large chunks of your work- not just the general ideas, because that's very very hard to prove and also extremely unlikely- you're protected that way.
Unless you're writing term papers, the risk of plagiarism is very unlikely. More likely is what happened to Stephenie Meyer- She sent out a few copies of a draft and that friend gave it to her friend, which gave it to her friend, etc.
So unless you don't want to risk *anyone* reading it, I wouldn't worry about posting it piece by piece online. Of course, this is my advice and you have to make the decision about what you feel comfortable with. But even after starting as a good writer, studying and writing constantly for a year, I find the impartial advice of people that aren't afraid to hurt my feelings (and to tell me what works) is the best best thing I have done to improve. Way cheaper than conferences, too.I would add, read up on writer's and agent's websites. A good place to start is my friend Teresa Frohock's Very Thorough Post of links to writerly tips. Nathan Bransford, super agent, put it all together in one place for you, too.
The great thing about being in a workshop is you can also read other people's reviews of other writers' submission. This helped me to understand the vocabulary, to have the words when something wasn't "right", and to glimpse what experienced writers see when they read. It's a whole new process.
If you don't find things that bother you or you wish that they'd handled a little differently in MOST of the novels you read, then you either pick the greatest books ever penned or you need to develop your inner critic.
Again, this is meant as friendly advice based on my experience. Read, study, write. Make sure you understand passive voice and can spot it (and slay it like a dragon).
Find out what an info dump is and make a solemn vow not to do so. Don't overuse
"that, just, really, kindof, sortof" or other words that aren't necessary. Avoid adverbs unless you really really need one. No more than one exclamation point every ten pages, and the same for metaphors. Get a book on grammar if you don't have one already.
Be aware that when you send in a MS, you will have to change italics to underline, because the agents have weak eyes, poor things! And you will have to have your MS double spaced, one inch margins, with name/TITLE/page # in the upper right hand corner. Start each new chapter half-way down the page. 12 pt Times New Roman or Courier are the preferred fonts.
There's also the option, if you're really concerned about theft, to write short stories and post those to develop your skill as a writer but keep your novel at home.
The thing about early drafts is that they're early drafts. I can't say if your idea will fly because I truly believe in the hands of a persistant writer any story can be worth reading.I write (roughly) for plot and character the first draft, consistency and flow the second draft. Deep characterization and believability in the third draft (where I'm at right now). It takes a lot of work to get it pretty, correct, charming, balanced, smooth, flowing, engaging, generous, surprising, and lively. I read an author's blog who posted all twelve of his versions for his chapter one. I read 1,2,3,4,5,8,and 12...and wow. He was a hack in the first draft, but by the end...it was good writing.
(And the book is getting published. I've searched for his blog but it's lost. Should have bookmarked it- Drat!)My kids' guidance counselor has a quote on her bulletin board that I smile at everyday when I walk Eli to his door. "The great thing about being a writer is that you don't have to get it right the first time, unlike, say, a brain surgeon. -David ???" I'll update tomorrow morning after I get his full name:)
Okay- that's all I 've got! Good luck, and send me your Ch 1. and a plot summary if you're still game:)
What am I listening to on the ipod? Nothing.
Where am I supposed to be? In church, but I've two sickly children who are sleeping. Which means that I tried to fix my collapsing posts, but still can't find a way to get rid of the "click here" on posts that are not collapsed. So, Nathan will be home in an hour and wonder why I didn't do anything to tidy up, but the blog is important, people!
What am I reading? The Rosetta Key, by William Dietrich. About a hundred pages in.
Rosetta Key follows Ethan cage though Jerusalem in the months before Napoleon is due to bring his conquest of the world to the Holy City. Cage is searching for a possible artifact of great power- power that pharaohs, Moses, and even Mohammed might have used to establish their nations.
Here's an analogy. Angels and Demons is to The Rosetta Key as National Treasure is to Indiana Jones.
Some, like my good friend the Book Dragon, have issues with Dan Brown, who many of you will know has a third book coming out. (On the other side, my mother-in-law has her copy reserved.)
I feel a bit sorry for him. No, really. Because how many symbols can you pack into a book before it all runs together? Readers pigeonholed him from the start, and good luck to him if he wants to write anything else.
And all of the fame, the over-crowded book signings, the bushels of letters and emails. How tedious. What a curse.
And, as Tevya says in Fiddler on the Roof, "May the Lord smite me with it."
Two snowmen are standing in a field. One says to the other : "Funny, I smell carrots too".Let's try something. I'll describe a story, and you tell me if you can craft a best seller.
There's this ring, and it's really powerful. So powerful that it can make you invisible and take over your mind if you're not careful. So this hobbit—hobbits are like a short people with hairy feet—gets the ring from his uncle.
Then a wizard tells him they are in danger and Middle Earth will be destroyed if Sauron, the evil lord of Mordor gets the ring back. The hobbit is kind of weak, so he has some friends to help him on his quest. There's the true king, an elf, a dwarf, maybe a few more hobbits…I think I'm going to have a tree guardian…maybe I'll call it a tree herder.
Anyway, Freddie (I may change that. Freddie seems a little too 'Hardy Boys', if you know what I mean.) and Steve (may change that, too) go on this long journey, and finally get to a giant crater in the earth, left by a meteor. (The ring is made from meteor-ore and meteors are the only magic strong enough to destroy the ring.) Freddie struggles, but is finally able to overcome his desire to keep the ring and they destroy Sauron and the new king is crowned.
It's a great idea, right? It could become the next big thing- the basis for a whole new genre...But could you develop the idea as beautifully as Tolkien did?
I've described my idea to lots of people, and since I've spent some time working on my query letters, I can give a decent synopsis. But I still have this niggle in my brain that makes me want to say, "It's better on paper."
Try describing a #1 song to someone. Knock out the melody on the piano for them. They say, "Oh, that's neat that you write music. I'm kindof working on a song right now, too.
It's not enough to have an idea- you have to have a seasoned, sweated over manuscript. You must polish your story until it reflects the red veins in your bloodshot-computer-screen-weary-eyes.
When I first considered joining an online writer's group, some friends were concerned that my ideas would be stolen. That someone would make millions off my brilliantly amazing ideas, if I may be so modest.
But all the plagiarism I've heard about is pretty doubtful. I've read one comment on a blog where a lady that sniffed that she'd finished her novel about a boy in wizard school a month before the first Harry Potter came out. And Stephenie Meyer was sued over some resemblances, but I wonder that the attorney would even bother. (Nevermind that last comment. Of course they would bother.)
It's all about the execution. And execution is hard. Just as hard as bringing the characters to life. (get it?)
But some people are confused about how much work it is to write it, and write it well. So I'm going to copyright some ideas, and whenever anyone uses my little gems, they have to go through me. Coming up with the ideas is the fun part, anyway. Actually writing it…ughh.
1. Magic. This is my idea, and if you want to use it, you'd better take out your pocket book.
2. Vampires. Duh.
3. Thwarted love. I believe in reincarnation as of this minute, and I invented this storyline in a previous life.
4.Fear of your dead spouse not really being dead and you move on and then it turns out they've been trapped on an island for years, dreaming of you. (Tom Hanks, I'm waiting for you to return my calls. Though, to be honest, this one's my husband Nathan's brainchild)
5. I may add some more. I come up with stuff all of the time. Check back later.
I should be rolling in the dough in no time. And it's virtually pain-free!
What am I missing? Did you ever have an idea and somebody beat you to it?
We went up to Mt Pisgah campground last Friday with fear and trembling. The weather did not look great, but Dad and my little sister had driven up from Florida and I'd already paid for the sites. "Not look great" in this case means clouds with little lightning icons on the hour-by-hour weather report until 9am on Saturday.
I called to see if we could switch nights, but no luck. The reservation system has been centralized, which means that the rules are the same for every person across this country, which is great, but they do not allow employees to touch scissors, because they might accidently cut the red tape. As a bonus, because we were inside the four day window from the date we wanted, they had no access to reservation information, so we couldn't even just skip Friday night and pay additional money for Saturday. Very cunning. (I'm excited about the whole health care shebang that's headed this way.)
We got there in time on Friday to put up Dad's monster tent (12'x20') by flashlight. There was lightning, but not too close. Clouds rested below us, then swept up the mountain as night fell. It was very exciting (and damp) for the kids to sleep in a cloud.
On Saturday, we saw the waterfalls and Sliding Rock (Emma went down four times, Isaac and Eli once, me twice, Nathan three times—it was extremely very very cold). Saturday night, which was supposed to be clear-ish, fell apart around seven. We'd finished our charred foil pack dinners and the kids and I were headed to listen to the rangers go on about birds when it start drizzling.
I wasn't sure if it was an open air or covered pavilion, and we all had on jackets, so we kept going. But the drizzle turned to tiny, unencapsulated water balloons, and I ran with the kids to a "comfort station", where everybody took some porcelain comfort and, in chatting with some ladies, I found out that the bird campfire program was cancelled. Hubby and Dad were supposed to catch up to us after getting dinner cleaned up, but I hadn't seen them, and decided to get the kids back to the tent. So we ran back—only no Dad and hubby waited for us. They had taken the car to find us and returned after 10 minutes.
Hanging out in a tent with hours to go before bedtime and four rowdy kids and a tween could have been a lot of fun, but we piled into the car and headed to the Mt. Pisgah Inn. I ordered the Big Fat Chocolate cake, and it was. Big. Fat. Chocolate. So rich, I shared more than the obligatory bite swap with hubby. Everyone at the table got a few bites. And the corn fritters and fried green tomatoes were also good.
Next day, we waited for the law enforcement ranger to come by and write us a ticket for not setting up on the tent pad, which we couldn't do since the tent was too large. (A regular ranger had given us a written warning, which we ignored, and a verbal reprimand which hubby good-naturedly rebuffed. "Sure, I'd like to talk to the law enforcement ranger. Noone told us that our tents had to be within a size…" blah blah blah. She was not used to people trying to have things make sense-the tent was still in the gravel area but she was arguing about environmental impact.)Really, we wolfed down our s'mores for breakfast and got out of there before the ranger could appear.
A fellow camper had tipped us that it was blueberry season, and we drove to mile marker 420, Black Balsam Peak, and walked from the trail head about a mile along an old logging road to a meadow full of blueberries and blackberries. And we didn't have a camera. Drat. Kindof.
I wanted to take pictures of the kids with blue smears across their faces and Jonas asking before each and every berry went in his mouth "dat good Daddy?" "Just the blue ones." The ferny moss that pads the marshy flow of water down the mountain slope. The way hikers and berry pickers seem all have dogs (except us), and Isaac asking every dog owner if their dog is friendly about a half-second before he starts petting them, just assuming they are. The treasure of finding a branch with seven or eight ripe berries clumped together so that you can just hold your bucket up and pull them from the stem and let them drop.
Eli asking me over and over if he's a good blueberry hunter and giving me high-fives. Isaac dumping his cup into my bucket, but making sure I notice how well he's done first, and calling me to come over and see what a great thicket he found. Emma with her little snort-laugh (it's cute, I promise) when Hubby asks her if she'll carry him back.
I don't need to cry over these pictures we never took because I'm writing it down now. And I'm writing down Jonas' secret code- "Do it again Daddy" means drive through a tunnel, and "Daddy, don't do dat" means don't drive off the mountain. How could a picture tell me that?
Here’s my story with a sobering moral. It’s okay to laugh.Eli had a dentist appointment this morning (he had five cavities- Thank you unfluoridated water of Western PA) -at least I thought so until we were halfway across town- I literally take three interstates to get to our fantastic, cheap dentist. And then I couldn’t figure out if it was Wednesday or Thursday. Then I was sure it was Wednesday. Because we went to April’s house on Monday, or was that Tuesday? And Eli met a kindergarten teacher (not necessarily his), we went to the library…but which thing on what day?
me together:)
A few things, in any order. Zombies, vampires, werewolves, fairies, demons, (or faeries, daemons if you prefer) mean teen-age girls, clumsy teen-age boys with secret powers. And mindmelding dragons.
Time travel is a perennial favorite, as are doomsday prophecies from lost civilizations. Wizards, demi-gods, and boarding school/finishing school.
Any combination of these will do.
Fairy boarding school? Time-traveling vampires? Dragons in the Temple of Doom, Zombies in corsets? Wait- that's been done. (Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. I read the first two pages while browsing and it looked amusing.)
Nobody wants to hear about vampires any more, right? Whatever. Half the paranormal books out there are about vampires.
You can just pick a few of these elements, mash 'em up and presto! You've got a best-seller, right?
Five ideas in five minutes-
-jealous teen-lost-spirits try to affect the outcome of a beauty contest.
-a wizard and a witch are transported back to cave man time and establish civilization.
-Astronaut is bitten by a werewolf and sent into orbit before he realizes what happened. His space ship orbits the full moon every eighty minutes.
-A zombie falls in love with a succubus and tries to win her affection via multiple blood transfusions. Then his head falls off and mayhem ensues. Gross.
-A fairy gets fed up with being pushed around by other mythical creatures and summons a demon army to bend the forest to her will.
What do you have? C'mon lurkers. Throw me a bone:)
Okay, this is when you know that you've made it, that your work will stand the test of time, because you see it tattooed on the bodies of young girls when you go to the mall.
Or it's a sign that you really need to invest in that Taser you've been thinking about. But this blog is not about someone else's permanent love for an imaginary man. (Imaginary class of man, really.)
Not musings about how they are going to explain THAT to their Mothers/grandmothers/significant others. It's about me and my sister, and how proofreading would have saved us a lot of money.
It's about an idea that went too far, too fast.
For instance, if I'd only waited a few days or run it by my crit group—they're great at picking out details like this-- I would have gotten "I am Bella", not "Bella is ME". It's too passive, like Bella is taking over my soul. Which, now that I think about it, kind of makes sense.
And, I wouldn't have gotten Team Jacob on my forehead. 'Cause I'm totally team Edward. How can I take that back though? Will Edward forgive me? I have hope since he so graciously forgave Bella when she kissed Jacob. What's worse, to kiss another guy, or to have another guy's name tattooed on your forehead?
And poor Cindi. Her tat artist…well. It was really late at night. He was about ready to go home, and I guess he was in too much of a hurry. The picture is a little grainy- if you can't read it, it says "Team Eddward"
In our defense, we can cut bangs.
I know it's morally questionable to give children tattoos, but Jojo is so cute…so pale and curly-haired. Edward—er, Nathan and I couldn't resist.
This quote is from Eclipse. (He's been throwing a lot of temper tantrums.) The lines are a little crooked because that needle hurts! He wanted to stop after 'freaking out', but I told him, "No. I told you before we started that you had to do it all the way, or nothin'."
It reads: "I'm okay. I'm just. Freaking out. Give me. A minute."It will be really cool in middle school, won't it?
I read an article about a sci-fi author (I apologize for losing track of who it was) who HATED the new title the publisher picked. So when he signed copies of that book, he crossed out their title and wrote his own in.
What if something about a passage really bothered you, but you didn't figure out how to fix it until it was already published. And then you're walking down the street, and this girl walks by and she's got it stamped on her back? Can you, legally, take out the permanent marker and fix it? I know the ink isn't really permanent, but just to make yourself feel better? I'm thinking hard about that, and it gives me one more reason to keep on keepin'on.
Line-edit, here I come.
(For those of you who don't know me well enough, I read the Twilight books and thought they were fun. That's about it. Stephenie Meyer's story is rather inspiring:stay-at-home mom takes over world, but that's it. No actual craziness going on here. Just having a good laugh.)
I shouldn't have gotten a laptop. I shouldn't have picked up a pen in the first place. At first, it seemed innocent enough—a few scrawled pages in my sketch pad. I wasn't even using a proper notebook. The idea sat for two years, and I didn't mention it to anyone except my husband and my best friend.
I used to wander around the library and take home three or four titles and enjoy the ride. Now I have a list of books I'd like to read, but when I take my kids to the library, I feel guilty about checking one out, because I should be writing. It kills a whole day because I read books in one sitting- whether they are Harry Potter-size, or a compact 150 page YA. See, there it is again. A year ago, I would have called it 'juvenile fiction', the way the library does, but no longer. To the publishing industry, it is YA. I have switched sides.
I harbored the elements of an aspiring writer: a scribbled story idea, a publication in my high school literary magazine—page one, thank you very much—one college level creative writing class, and a feeling that I had something to say. All I needed was a catalyst.
Don't laugh, but the thing that got me was Twilight. I told you not to laugh.
Reading Twilight did three things for me: gave me hope, showed some rules can be 'broken', and broadened my genre.
As I relived the thrill of first love, I thought "I can do this". I saw myself in Stephenie Meyer- a stay-at-home mom with three boys. (I have three boys plus a 'bonus' girl, but the comparison was close enough.) I kept bumping into Stephenie. An interview on NPR. Friends everywhere toted her books. She requested me as a friend on Facebook, er, um, something like that. And then the movie came out and all the girls from church had a party and went to see it. I kept thinking "My idea is that good."
I'd read that third person limited was the way to go for a beginning writer, and I'd swallowed it. After writing twenty plodding, effortful pages in third person, Twilight reminded me that anything was possible, and I could write in first person. (It pained me to throw out those first pages. Now if I can cut a few paragraphs, I feel I've struck gold.) Suddenly, my character was more than a sketch, she was alive. I started writing eight to ten pages a day, crammed into nap time, play time, and after bedtime.
I alternated going to bed after 2 a.m. with waking up before 6. My husband falls asleep about sixty seconds after head-to-pillow, so I would go to bed with him, wait for his breathing to change, and then get up and write. (I told him what I was doing, but he goes to sleep better if I'm there. Courtesy, not deceit.)
Twilight also changed my perception of 'romance'. My grandma read one Harlequin a day when she was alive. She and her sisters would garage sale (garage sale is a verb. i.e. 'I'm going garage sale-ing.') every Saturday and then trade boxes of books when they were done. She had emphysema, so she was limited to reading and watching 'Dallas' (remember that theme song? Ba, ba BAAA. Ba ba ba baa baaa. Got it stuck in your brain yet? You're welcome!) I'd read five hundred romances by the time I was fifteen. No offense to romance writers out there, but I'm not interested in reading another as long as I live.
So, I deliberately avoided romance because I aimed for more of a book-club-quasi-literary novel. But my character needed to discover what makes the brutality of life bearable, and the only thing strong enough is love. And not just any love. True love. I'd-die-to-save-you-and-consider-it-a-bargain love. So paranormal romance it is.
After four months and 400 pages, I finished and started looking around for an agent. I mean, once the thing is written, that's what you do, right? I typed up a query, and sent it out to…Query Shark. Whew! I could have really messed up there. The Shark hasn't gotten to it yet, but I've changed it ten times (not kidding), so it doesn't matter. Somehow, by reading agent's, editor's, and writer's rants, pleadings, and sad stories (no particular order to those!), I made the transition from wanting to write a story to wanting to sell a manuscript.
So now I'm compiling a list of possible agents to query. (I read yesterday that you should have 50. Really?) I'm half-way through my third major edit, with at least two more ahead of me. I'm developing relationships with other writers, searching for beta readers, and honing my editing skills with my on-line crit group. I'm planning trips to the bookstore to find comp novels and will search the author acknowledgements for their agents, and if that fails, their websites are next. I'm developing an online presence. (See, here I am.) I'm working on a short story that I hope to put on my query as a such-and-such contest winner.
But where is the balance? I supervise as the kids unload the dishes and put their own clothes away. They vacuum and sweep, and then I do it again. I sewed a dress for my little girl yesterday and we wove construction paper placemats this morning. But behind the busy work, I'm wondering if the night swimming scene where the MC is trying to evade the helicopter with its infrared scopes and the alligator that comes to investigate is too busy. Everything is going wrong except the weather…maybe some lightning. But then the helicopter…see? Even when blogging, I'm working on my story.
My condition is chronic, but I'm okay with that, because my next book is about this Egyptian woman who stops the flow of the river of time to search for her lost child. That's a career plan…or a terminal illness. It's hard to know which.
What were your first symptoms of being a writer and how did you come to terms with your diagnosis?
