Aslan's Land, The Other Place, Foo and The Grey Havens

When a writer attempts to describe an "Otherworldly" world, it can be difficult not to sound like the description of just another foreign city. There has to be something unique beyond sights, sounds and accents.

Okay, usually accents aren't our first thought. But what would the accent in Heaven sound like? Brittish? Americans love an English accent.

"G'day, Guvna," the firey angel said. "Just mopped that bit of Golden Street. Kip around that puddle." 

Irish would be even better (If you don't believe me, watch "P.S. I Love You"), but they wouldn't say "Guvna."

Sailing to The Grey Havens. It is shockingly easier to find LOTR art in comparison to my other examples.

You'd think Narnia would have some art, but I couldn't find any.

So, straight from some of my fav books, scenes from other worlds:

From "The Last Battle"-

"Those hills," said Lucy, "the nice woody ones and the blue ones behind--aren't they very like the Southern border of Narnia?"

"Like!" cried Edmund after a moment's silence. "Why they're exactly like. Look, there's Mt. Pire with his forked head, and there's the pass into Archenland and everything!"

"And yet they're not alike," said Lucy. "They're different. They have more colors on them and they look further away than I remember and they're more...more...oh, I don't know..."

"More like the real thing," said the Lord Digory softly.

From "Ptolemy's Gate" by Jonathan Stroud-

She found herself in--well, in did not seem quite appropriate: she found herself part of a ceaseless swirl of movement, neither ending  nor beginning, in which nothing was fixed or static. It was an infinite ocean of lights, colors and textures, perpetually forming, racing, and dissolving in upon themselves, though the effect was neither as thick or solid or as a liquid nor as traceless as a gas; if anything it was a combination of the two, in which fleeting wisps of substance endlessly parted and converged.

Scale and direction were impossible to determine, as was the passing of time-since nothing remained still and no patterns were ever repeated, the concept itself seemed blank and meaningless. This mattered very little to Kitty and it was only when she attempted to locate herself, with a view to establishing her place in relation to her surroundings, that she grew a little disconcerted. She had no fixed point, no singularity to call her own; indeed, she seemed often to be in several places at once, watching the whirling traces from multiple angles. The effect was most disorienting. 

I love this cover and these books. I think the swirls might be essence from the Other Place?

From Leven Thumps and the Gateway to Foo-

The front door to Amelia's house opened without anyone touching it.

"How did--?" Leven asked.

"Doors know what to do here," Geth explained.

Leven slipped out of the house and into Foo and knew, without a doubt, that he was dreaming. He had never seen anything like what he saw now. Not only that, but he could see it clearly; his sight was perfect. Mountains and Valleys and rivers and foliage filled his view, but they were nothing like what he had left behind in reality. The sky was bright yellow near the ground and purple at its crown. Creatures he had never seen, and would have been unable to imagine, ran across prairies of long orange grass that blew in the wind. He could see incredible darkness to the north, and behind that, thin pointed mountains that loked as if they were moving. A river of deep blue water spilled across his view, creating waterfalls in at least twenty different places. The clouds were shaped differently, the air seemed to glisten, and if Leven wasn't completely wrong, he could have sworn he saw a person flying at a distance. 

"Wow,"he gasped.

...Leven went back into Amelia's house and to a short couch that sat in front of a roaring fire. The fire was not only burning but singing softly...The fire sang softly and the windows dimmed nicely as Leven experienced his first dream in a place where there was nothing but.

You miss a lot of the detail in this small file, but this cover is gorgeous. The drips of water running out of Leven's hair are amazing, as is little monkey guy on his back. I love this book, and sadly, book two was on the floor in the bathroom during our recent flood. :(

And from "The Return of the King"-

The sails were drawn up and the wind blew, and the ship slowly slipped away down the long gray firth; and the light of the glass of Galdriel that Frodo bore glimmered and was lost. And the ship went out into the High Sea and passed on into the West, until at last on a night of rain Frodo smelled a sweet fragrance on the air and heard the sound of singing that came over the water. And then it seemed to him that as in his dream in the house of Bombadil, the grey rain-curtain turned all to silver glass and was rolled back, and he beheld white shores and beyond them a far green country under a swift sunrise.

I don't know about you, but I've got some goose bumps. The thing that struck me about these examples is how different they are, in purpose and in description.

Stroud's description's of the Other Place make it seem kind of scary, an alarming place to be, while Lewis' description of the New Narnia reminds the reader of the longing that is still felt even in your favorite places in this world. Foo is a land of dreams and infinite possibility, a place where the ridiculous must be accepted. And The Grey Havens is a place of endless rest for the weary.

The hard thing about describing other worlds is that we are limited to the words that apply to this one. Often authors will refer to dreams- either to say the new world is the dream, or to say that the world they left was the dream and the new world is reality. Or they will compare it to sublime experiences in this world- to moments of disorientation like waking from sleep. In the New Testament, Paul gives a beautiful description that is too perfect not to bring to your attention:

1 Cor. 13:9-12
9 For we know in part, and we prophesy in part.
10 But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away.

11 When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.

12 For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.

I love that.

A key to selling a new world to the reader is the character's reactions to it. All of these characters have deep reactions to what they are experiencing, and their reaction becomes the reader's reaction. I'm right there with Frodo, longing for peace and a good nap!

What have I missed? And what's your favorite "Other World?"

Glutton for Punishment?

Rinse. Repeat.

Isn't it lovely to have someone who believes in you? My very good friend and alpha reader Aleta came to visit. She ASKED (can you imagine a better friend?) to read it out loud to me so we could discuss it as we went. So, between taking the kids to the circus and going to the YMCA, we sat on the couch and I listened.

It was really strange to hear my words read aloud. It was almost like they were a real story and made it so easy to spot problems. As we worked through the first hundred pages I realized I have a lot of good things on the paper and some things that aren't there yet.

This photo is from last year.

Yes, we have arranged marriages planned.

 I won't embarrass the kids by naming names.

I've been listening to each chapter on 'narrator' (In case you've missed other mentions, this program comes with microsft windows. You can't use it in office, but if you paste into wordpad, then you can listen as the computer reads text.) Unfortunately, a computer can't inflect or answer questions, so you miss where the meaning or emphasis is ambiguous. And you can't ask a computer if the humor is too much, if the dialogue sounds stilted, or if it's okay to use the word 'discombobulated'. Not that I would try to pull that off. 'Discombobulated' is incontravertably unweildy. See how much I need a reader?

It was like a book club about my very favorite book in the whole world and it went on and on. I cannot say how much I appreciated the time that was given to me. I hope that you find people that expect you to succeed like this, whatever the area of your life it occurs in.

Aleta returned to her home in Arizona but left behind a few hundred items to fix. I'm thinking about reading and recording the other 300 pages so I can listen to it. Truly, this was one of the best writing exercises I've ever done. There is no other way to get such thorough feedback. So, goodbye for now readers. I have a lot of work to do!

Glutton for Punishment?

Open Mouth, Insert foot

A few weeks ago a blogger got up on a soapbox and blasted a group of people that make up roughly half the country. I stopped following her blog. I agreed with her overall point, but the angry tone bothered me, and I thought she was misrepresenting the opposite side.
I've read some authors' blogs that seem to effortlessly combine personal and professional, and I'm trying to do that. I know enough not to get into politics, potty training, and  religion...but really? What if the politicians are debating a potty training bill and I have some religious objections? How can I not blog about that?

So, I've been thinking about blog content and what my personal rules are.

Why blog?

We all want to be understood and writing is a way to express yourself (and my preferred venue). Plus there's something nice about someone leaving a comment.

A lot of readers develop a friendly mindset towards 'their' authors and like to get to know them better. It helped me to be a better mom/writer when I read Shannon Hale's blog. We can encourage each other.

But I wish I hadn't sought out info on a few writers, just like it bothers me to know too much about some actors/actresses. It kills the magic when someone gets arrested doing something icky, for instance.

Does there have to be a general match between your blog tone and your books?

I think that happens naturally- the things that interest you enough to put in a book are probably the same things you blog about.

But I have avoided talking about religion here because it is not 'professional'. But this is about writing, and I write around religious topics. My characters are not perfect, some believe in God some don't-much like the people I know in real life. Is my self-imposed taboo on religion misplaced? I'm still thinking about that. It's such a personal part of me- one I like to talk about, but only if I'm sure the other party is interested.

How much is too much?

I don't generally have impulses to whine on the blog about other people, but it's important to remember that the internet is forever. I NEVER write anything that I would not want my husband, my mother, or my church friends to read. Even down to the books I review.

And I have a few long-standing conversational rules that I try to apply- never make it all about yourself, ask questions, don't complain, don't say anything about someone that you wouldn't say to their face, and do what you can to help others be happy.

I try to remember that it's a 'blog', not a 'bdiary', and I have a special notebook to write my personal thoughts in. And I don't share that I burned dinner (unless I was writing when I smelled the smoke), dentist appointments (except here), or that my kids call Burger King 'King Booger'. That's on my family blog. Just because I can type it doesn't mean that everybody wants to read it.

What are your guidelines? Do you lean towards personal or professional?
Glutton for Punishment?

Why a Style Sheet? Or, How to Pretend to be a Professional Writer

I have a 382 page document sitting on my desk. It has 107,096 words in it.

Some of those words are 'gray'. Some are 'grey'. I didn't really think about it until I checked out a book on copy-editing. Some people actually pay attention to this stuff. Who knew?

They care, for instance, if you use:

make-up/makeup

t.v./TV

Chapter One/Chapter 1/Ch. 1

Geroth (What is that? Only I know how to spell it, because I made it up.)

So, I read the book and started a style sheet. Now I can hyphenate consistently, use the same capitalizations, know which numbers to spell out and which to numerate, and generally look like a pro.

And when a real copyeditor gets my manuscript, I can give them the style sheet and avoid a few marks of the dreaded Red Pen. They'll know that 'geroth' is a real fake word, that Sleep is so important it's capitalized, and that I wear makeup, not make-up, when I want to feel la-ti-da. Or is it 'la ti da'? (I need a style sheet for the blog.)

But, you ask, how does one make a style sheet?

It's so easy.

On a legal pad, I made three columns and three rows. Nine boxes. Top left box is A-C, top middle is D-F, top right is G-I, etc. Under the G-I, I have written geroth. Then grey. Then Home. (I just started it. I haven't come across any A-C or D-F words yet.)

Then I have a space at the bottom labeled Miscallaneous where I demonstrated my chapter heading (I made a heading format on Microsoft Office, too, but sometimes things happen and I don't want to have to scroll to another chapter to see how I did it before.) And whenever I wonder, "Should it be 600, or six hundred, or six-hundred?" I can check in two seconds instead of 'finding' on the screen or flipping through pages if I'm working on a paper edit. The style sheet lets me pretend I'm organized, and that's a good feeling.

Another nice thing about the book 'Copyediting' is the inside covers give the copyediting symbols, so when I get my marked up manuscript back, I'll know what they mean. (It's not exactly what I learned in ninth grade english class.) Like making an 's' curve over and under words or letters means to transpose them. Or if you run a delete line through something, then change your mind, you put dots underneath it, meaning stet, or let it stand. (Stet will also over-ride the copyeditor's suggestion, but I'm just using this for my own edits right now. As a writer, I'd think carefully before ignoring their edits)

I learned the most doing the practice exercises. You, too, can develop your inner copyeditor. Then you'll get this joke:

Q. Does anal retentive have a hyphen?

A. Only when used in adjective form. Ha ha ha. That was a good one. Hey, why aren't you laughing?
Glutton for Punishment?

From the mouth of a babe

I don't remember learning that Santa wasn't real, or finding out where babies come from. But I read my first book (Max the Cat) sitting at our dining room table in Tamarac, Florida when I was four or five. I remember reading my first poem to my mom and that it rhymed dove and love. We were in our old blue and white conversion van, driving from our home in Ft. Lauderdale to Tampa to visit the grandparents. My mom told me she loved it, and I was so proud of myself.

I dug through a box of my old diaries and yearbooks yesterday. I found the poem I read to my first boyfriend when he stopped calling, entitled 'Mimes Suck'. What sophisticated imagery!

I'm glad I hadn't thrown away the diaries because, though painfully adolescent and confusing, they're a great resource if I ever want to write from a teenage girl's perspective. *wink*

I also found the lit magazine from my senior year in high school. Before I found it again, all I remembered about this poem was that I'd used the word rape, and I'd wondered if people interpreted that to be an event in my life. (It actually referred to the forceful nature of love, changing us without consent.) A lot was going on at this time- hormones, with my parents' divorce, death in the family, hormones, and the fact that my first love didn't last. No kidding, huh? Here it is, warts and all:

A candle sits there aflame

The wax melts into the form that it came

The fire burns the candle's thread,

A puddle grows by her whose strength has fled.

This flame too hot to let live,

This type flame has never a thing to give.

Curse the match who struck this spark

By the candle who ever bears this mark

Of cold wax which has no shape,

This gray pool is the one sign of rape.

This fire once long wished for

Was late seen not as an escape door.

It should not be wanted so,

For this love flame burns with a hurting blow.

None is in love always

And smoky storms cover love's bright gold rays.

So, new candle, fresh in mind,

Avoid the hot flame which melts all your kind.

In a Zen-writing book "Writing Down the Bones" Natalie Goldberg purports(that's the first time I've used that word) that everybody has to write their quota of junk before they can get to the 'good' stuff. Here's a review that matches my opinion.

What did you do with your old journals and bad poetry? (everybody has some, right?)Was writing a chore, a joy, therapy, a friend, a burden in your formative years?

Check back tomorrow for Osama's weekly book picks.

Hubby had Isaac, our 8 year old laughing over this.
What does a duck army yell when they're fired upon?
Duck!
What does a squirrel army yell when they're fired upon?
Duck!
Sorry.

Glutton for Punishment?

One Potato, Two Potato

I am a woman plagued by projects.

• Pulse, a 110,000 word project at least three edits from completion.
  
• Three picture books I've written for my kids. (I inked a drawing this week. At this rate I'll finish one book every five years.)
  
• A midgrade novel about a girl who becomes queen of the pirates when her pirate parents die.
  
• The short story "The Sweet Life" that I previously posted, but needs the tension ratcheted up (and four hundred words cut so that I can submit it to the ROSE and THORN ezine-accepting submissions again as of today!).
  
• A short story I've outlined wherein a man lives in a culture where he must set up his spouse with a new lover before he can dump her- and in the process of finding someone willing to take her, he remembers the good things about her and changes his mind.
  
• There's this werewolf astronaut story challenge floating around.
  
• I have a couch to recover.
  
• And a rocker.
  
• And I want to terrace the back yard and am researching price points on materials and a Bobcat.
  
• My next novel, about an Ancient Egyptian woman searching through time to find her lost son. I wrote the opening scene maybe two years ago and haven't gotten back to it.
  
• Oh yeah...this blog.
  
  

I was talking to my sister, Jenny, who is an AMAZING artist and clothing designer, about her recent meet 'n greet with a brand representative Urban Outfitters corporate (she's the set designer in the Urban in Salt Lake City). The woman asked her where she gets her ideas, and Jenny said to me (nicely) that that is a question that people who create do not ask. They know that you take a butterfly net with you everywhere you go, collecting things until some of them fit together.

You don't have to know when you're going to use an idea, just that it appeals to you, that it feels real. For instance, the grass in front of a church we drive by is bare in places like the bald patches of fur on a mangy dog. I have no place to use that right now, but maybe I will one day. Maybe in my next novel Atum-Re (or whatever her name ends up being) will journey into a fertile land that an army has marched through and that is how the earth will look to her. I don't know.

Another example--I was struggling to come up with a way to transport my current protagonist between worlds. Then we went swimming in a cenote, a sacred sinkhole that was a religious center for the ancient Mayans. They believed it was an entryway into the spirit world, which was perfect.

I tend to get bored with things—my long-suffering husband has dealt with too many 90% completed projects to count (but who doesn't like sheets of drywall leaned against the kitchen wall for a year?)—so sticking with one story has been a struggle.

I decided a year ago that my novel is the priority. I keep a list of edits to make and when I'm tired of going in order, I'll pick something from the list. I'm doing my third edit onscreen (I'm in Ch. 17, I think) and my fourth edit on paper (Ch. Ten- just finished nine this morning. Yea me!)

In my defense, short stories are part of my long-term goal of being a (paid) writer. I am trying to get some publishing credentials so I'll have something to put at the bottom of my query letter, and the process of getting a short story published should teach me a few things. Because how can you hope to hold a reader through four hundred pages if you can't hold them through ten?

To keep sane (relatively, at least), I take every Sunday off from writing or other projects. It's a time to relax and clear my mind. But every Monday morning, I start thinking about it again, and then it's go go go!

For me, the trouble is not getting ideas, but deciding which one to chase. Which is my next topic. Any tips?

Nostalgia is like a grammar lesson. You find the present tense and the past perfect.

Glutton for Punishment?

Advice to an aspiring novelist

Hello world! I have a friend that has just started a novel. She asked for some writing tips and is a little reluctant to join an online writer's workshop because of possible idea theft. (Links to the the best writing tips are at the bottom!) This is my response:

I was concerned about letting people know what my story is about at first, too. But now that I'm talking to writers and understanding how much work it is to get something publish-worthy, I think the feedback I get from OWW far outweighs any risk. Everybody on their has their own "baby" that they're nurturing, and it's just too much work to take someone else's incomplete idea. Anyway, you only post up to three chapters at a time, and someone would have to stalk you for months to get the full story, and you don't have to post the polished version if you don't want to.

In addition, your computer files have save dates on them, and if someone uses large chunks of your work- not just the general ideas, because that's very very hard to prove and also extremely unlikely- you're protected that way.

Unless you're writing term papers, the risk of plagiarism is very unlikely. More likely is what happened to Stephenie Meyer- She sent out a few copies of a draft and that friend gave it to her friend, which gave it to her friend, etc.

(This happened after she was on the NYT bestseller's list. Most writers have to struggle to find someone who loves them enough to struggle through the early versions, myself included.)

So unless you don't want to risk *anyone* reading it, I wouldn't worry about posting it piece by piece online. Of course, this is my advice and you have to make the decision about what you feel comfortable with. But even after starting as a good writer, studying and writing constantly for a year, I find the impartial advice of people that aren't afraid to hurt my feelings (and to tell me what works) is the best best thing I have done to improve. Way cheaper than conferences, too.

The great thing about being in a workshop is you can also read other people's reviews of other writers' submission. This helped me to understand the vocabulary, to have the words when something wasn't "right", and to glimpse what experienced writers see when they read. It's a whole new process.

If you don't find things that bother you or you wish that they'd handled a little differently in MOST of the novels you read, then you either pick the greatest books ever penned or you need to develop your inner critic.

Again, this is meant as friendly advice based on my experience. Read, study, write. Make sure you understand passive voice and can spot it (and slay it like a dragon).
Find out what an info dump is and make a solemn vow not to do so. Don't overuse
"that, just, really, kindof, sortof" or other words that aren't necessary. Avoid adverbs unless you really really need one. No more than one exclamation point every ten pages, and the same for metaphors. Get a book on grammar if you don't have one already.

Be aware that when you send in a MS, you will have to change italics to underline, because the agents have weak eyes, poor things! And you will have to have your MS double spaced, one inch margins, with name/TITLE/page # in the upper right hand corner. Start each new chapter half-way down the page. 12 pt Times New Roman or Courier are the preferred fonts.

There's also the option, if you're really concerned about theft, to write short stories and post those to develop your skill as a writer but keep your novel at home.

The thing about early drafts is that they're early drafts. I can't say if your idea will fly because I truly believe in the hands of a persistant writer any story can be worth reading.

I write (roughly) for plot and character the first draft, consistency and flow the second draft. Deep characterization and believability in the third draft (where I'm at right now). It takes a lot of work to get it pretty, correct, charming, balanced, smooth, flowing, engaging, generous, surprising, and lively. I read an author's blog who posted all twelve of his versions for his chapter one. I read 1,2,3,4,5,8,and 12...and wow. He was a hack in the first draft, but by the end...it was good writing.

(And the book is getting published. I've searched for his blog but it's lost. Should have bookmarked it- Drat!)

My kids' guidance counselor has a quote on her bulletin board that I smile at everyday when I walk Eli to his door. "The great thing about being a writer is that you don't have to get it right the first time, unlike, say, a brain surgeon. -David ???" I'll update tomorrow morning after I get his full name:)

Okay- that's all I 've got! Good luck, and send me your Ch 1. and a plot summary if you're still game:)

I would add, read up on writer's and agent's websites. A good place to start is my friend Teresa Frohock's Very Thorough Post of links to writerly tips. Nathan Bransford, super agent, put it all together in one place for you, too.
And, for anyone interested, I love Online Writer's Workshop for Science Fiction and Fantasy. Happy writing!

Is there another word for synonym?

Glutton for Punishment?