Courage to Play

The beginning of my novel has a problem. I've felt something not quite right about it for a long time, and have tried adding characters, new scenes, greater conflict, and those were good things to do, but the problem remains.

I've heard at least ten times from readers- "Once I got into it, I loved it." and "After the first few chapters, it's like reading a different book." But the first few chapters have information that the reader must have, and the tone is going to be different because the world is different.

Mr. Agent's only criticism of my writing (that he informed me of, at least!) was that he didn't connect with the tone. So. There's a problem.

I was fiddling around with the idea of making a prologue, something that would let the reader know that there is a serious love story ahead, I've foreshadowed, but it wasn't enough. Then I read FIRE, by Kristin Cashore, and realized that flashbacks would fit the situation better. I know. Flashbacks have a bit of a stigma, they're confusing, they break up the tension, they're pointless- why not just show the action in real time? But I tried that, and it messes up the tone of the beginning of the novel, when readers are deciding if they like where the book is going.

But what if the difference in tone, each world having very obviously different setting and characters, made it easier to separate what story line we're in? Then it would be an asset to have such different tones.

In 'Fire', all of the flashbacks are focused on the main character, Fire's, relationship with her psycho but loving (to her) father. In the present, the reader knows he's dead. In the past, he's alive. Having a cue like that made it very easy to follow.

So, I've set up my scenes in parallel. For instance, when Lara, my MC is interrogated by the FBI, they ask her about a missing girl, and she flashes back to ther last time she saw her, when Lara was essentially interrogating the missing girl. Both scenes are stronger for being juxtaposed like that. I think.

Yesterday, I reordered my scenes. And though I have a word processor and it's just a matter of cutting and pasting and spending a few hours (like ten) checking for continuity, it felt like the riskiest thing I've done in months. I was giddy and excited to see if it would work.

I'm think it's smoothing out the speedbump of the first few chapters- which were engaging and interesting already, just separate from the rest of the book. If they were awful scenes, then switching up the order wouldn't help, but I think it was just too much at once. Regardless, I won't make a final decision until I've had some trusted readers look over it.

So, if something isn't working, don't be afraid to try something a little different. It might even make things better. And the worst that can happen is you backup your file, mess around and have to revert to the previous version. Oh well! It's worth a try!

Writing a novel is supposed to be creative! Have fun with it and don't be afraid to lose a few hours to an experiment. In an amusing twist, reordering things will make my opening scene the arrest scene, which was my opening scene in my first draft. Hmmm. Full circle?

How do you find courage to try new things? Are you like me and wait until it is completely obvious that something needs to be done? Thanks for reading!
Glutton for Punishment?

Why not to finish your book after everyone else is asleep

Last night I finished up my edits on PULSE at 11:30 and then, like a dummy, I hung out in the blogoshpere since I haven't been doing much of anything except rewording perfectly good sentences for the last week or so. I think I wanted someone to throw me a party right then, for a hundred of my closest friends to knock on the door and give me high fives. Even Nathan was asleep (spin claas at 5:30 this morning for him, so I guess I understand. No, wait. I will never understand getting up that early. Even when I was going to spin class with him, I was continually asking myself WHY I was doing it.)

Sample book cover. Notice the clever double titling designed to thwart

sticker attacks. I hate it when I can't see the whole cover

because of a 'Summer Reading' sticker.

I told my kids this morning and they were excited until I explained that I still have to get beta reader response and query and make additional edits that the agent, editor copyeditor, line editor, etc. all want. I wonder why they looked at me funny. (Done? Is she kidding herself? She's just halfway there! they thought)

I said over breakfast that I was going to take a week off soon, but that I have two full manuscripts to review first. We're going to the beach in two weeks and maybe I'll be ready for a break by then. OR I have this really great idea that I want to develop. Maybe do some character sketches, an outline... Who am I kidding? I want to write the full rough draft!

But for now it feels so good to have the story done in time to go to the Atlanta Writer's Club Conference next weekend and to have this burst of confidence. Maybe it will be good that I won't get my beta readers' comments in time for the conference. I'm not sure I want reality to set in yet. *wink*

I've had some amazing friends help me with my preschooler for several days the last week and a half so I could meet my goal and all I can say is, I'm in their debt and they've got their spot in my acknowledgements when I get published! (Hey, we're thinking positive here. I have no rejections on this project! Haha!) And while I'm at it, there are several of you who have looked at queries or the opening chapters, and it really helped me to see what I needed to focus on, so thank you, too. And I have been taking a break from the Online Writer's Workshop of Sciance Fiction, Fantasy and Horror while I did my line edits in PULSE, but I really appreciate my writing buddies over there, especially my good friend Teresa, who I have learned so much from.

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

I'm thinking up some questions to ask the Super Agent in my pitch session, mostly having to deal with YA versus adult fantast and the fabled existance of a 'New Adult' or 'College age' group. I've found a few agents - okay one -who is interested in borderline or crossover YA/adult fiction. (Catherine Drayton, if you're interested.) Anyone know of anybody else? Any amazing questions that will mark me as a sophisticated, market-savvy author?

Thanks for the encouragement and Happy Writing to you!
Glutton for Punishment?

Checking In- the last 10%

In reviewing my manuscript, I find a lot of conversations that are okay, but on rereading, don't 'pop'. That's what I'm fixing right now. Adding bits of humor, deleting the jokes that don't work, adding little details and motivations for minor characters. Pulling all the threads together, answering all the questions.

I find myself getting really excited as I take details that I'd already written in and understand why there were there. There's a specific character who's chewing gum all the time, and I realized it's because she's just quit smoking, and when she lapses, it explains her intense reaction to something else. Piecing that together made me so happy and it really helped that scene to shine.

I've gotten most of my grammar bugs/plot issues worked out and am surprised to find that this stage is fun. I am shocked at how giddy I feel. It's almost as much fun as the first draft when I thought I would be done in a few months. Don't laugh. I really thought I would do some light edits and it would be ready. Thank goodness I didn't start querying then.

I'm about 25 pages shy of being half-way done with my last major edit. I've called in some babysitting favors for my preschooler so I can work through some entire school days and then I will be sending it out to beta readers, hopefully by Friday.

I'm a bit anxious about my pitch session in 13 days, and haven't been sleeping as well as I'd like, but every chunk I get done makes me less anxious. I think I could sit down with said agent and say that I've written a story that he will be interested in. And believe it. That feels good.

Happy Writing!
 
Glutton for Punishment?

Are We There Yet?

My dad in one of my favorite pictures. 

Did you notice the waterspout in the background? 

My dad is funny about traveling. We went out on the gulf most weekends, it seems, when I was young. It didn't matter if the trip was for two hours or a long weekend or a whole week of lobstering in the keys. It didn't matter if we had done our assigned jobs or not, he could be counted on to be snarly.

Pack the cooler, pack the boat, pack the car. Grump at the kids, grump at the weather (invariably HOT growing up in FL), grump at whatever has the ill-fortune to be in the way. As soon as we'd get in the car and shut the doors, he could laugh again. Enter vacation.

As a writer (and as a vacationer, too bad for my kids), I've realized I'm the same way. It's been a year and a half since I started my novel in earnest. It took four and a half months to write the first draft. And thirteen and half months to get it to where it is.

Which is where, exactly?

My plot is interesting, a new twist on a very old story, I think. Microtension, character arc, chapter arc, flow. People say they like my characters. They feel like real people.
I told one of my readers that I had realized that there wasn't enough inner motivation for my MC to risk everything and I was going back to fix that and my reader said, "Good. I told you that a while ago."

Really?

I didn't see it before. I do now. I see the flaws, and the sad thing is that I know I don't even see all of them.

Understanding what to fix is an expansive feeling, but one that I've learned to distrust. It is a feeling that says, "If you fix this one more thing, I'll be ready for people to read me," but it lies. It waits for you to fix that thing (only if the muse is particularily generous) then turns back to you and says, "Oh, and one more thing."

I'm ready to get in the car and go. The suitcases are packed, waiting beside the door, and I realize I forgot clean socks. And my toothbrush. And did I remember to get the jewelry for the wedding we're going to?

I just want to be on the road. I want to be there already. I'm at that point where my husband  would say (were writing the book, packing and querying, the trip), "I'll get the suitcase. Get some ice water and wait in the car, okay? Put on some Enya."
 Sigh. I'm taking a few days easy on the writing. Gardening, tidying up, cleaning out some closets. I'm going to find my inner zen-state. And Nathan has his second triathon tomorrow, so we'll be having some fun there, too. Wish him luck! I'll see you on Monday.
Glutton for Punishment?

Giving your characters character in the first three pages

Remember Fizzgig from The Dark Crystal?

Another strong character. 

We like 'strong characters', right? Here's a look at how Suzanne Collins got my attention in the first few lines in 'The Hunger Games' by Suzanne Collins.

• Katniss wakes up and looks for her sister, who snuck into bed with their mother.
• A big, ugly yellow cat is curled up on her sister's feet.
• Cut to Katniss's memories of when her sister found the cat, flea-bitten and wormy and her sister begged Katniss not to drown it.
• Back to present- now Katniss feeds it entrails when she cleans an animal she's killed. The cat has stopped hissing at Katniss.  
• "Entrails. No hissing. This is the closest we will ever come to love."

I loved that line. I realized I could trust this writer to tell me a story. I love that relaxed feeling and don't get it too often, since compulsive editing has ruined most books for me (only kind of kidding.)

This is a strong character. Yes, Katniss is physically strong, but that's not the point. She tried to drown her sister's cat out of practicality. She didn't think about it, or consider it, or *almost* put the cat in a bucket. She did it and her sister was begging her to stop. And the cat still remembers.

I had that same 'I can relax' feeling when I reread "The Giver" by Lois Lowry.

It was December, and Jonas was beginning to be frightened. No, wrong word. Frightened meant that deep, sickened feeling of something terrible about to happen.

Jonas is extremely careful about naming his feelings. It made me wonder why. That's all it took to hook me.

Have you ever met a character and thought, "Wow. This is going to be good."? What line got you?
Glutton for Punishment?

Rinse. Repeat.

Isn't it lovely to have someone who believes in you? My very good friend and alpha reader Aleta came to visit. She ASKED (can you imagine a better friend?) to read it out loud to me so we could discuss it as we went. So, between taking the kids to the circus and going to the YMCA, we sat on the couch and I listened.

It was really strange to hear my words read aloud. It was almost like they were a real story and made it so easy to spot problems. As we worked through the first hundred pages I realized I have a lot of good things on the paper and some things that aren't there yet.

This photo is from last year.

Yes, we have arranged marriages planned.

 I won't embarrass the kids by naming names.

I've been listening to each chapter on 'narrator' (In case you've missed other mentions, this program comes with microsft windows. You can't use it in office, but if you paste into wordpad, then you can listen as the computer reads text.) Unfortunately, a computer can't inflect or answer questions, so you miss where the meaning or emphasis is ambiguous. And you can't ask a computer if the humor is too much, if the dialogue sounds stilted, or if it's okay to use the word 'discombobulated'. Not that I would try to pull that off. 'Discombobulated' is incontravertably unweildy. See how much I need a reader?

It was like a book club about my very favorite book in the whole world and it went on and on. I cannot say how much I appreciated the time that was given to me. I hope that you find people that expect you to succeed like this, whatever the area of your life it occurs in.

Aleta returned to her home in Arizona but left behind a few hundred items to fix. I'm thinking about reading and recording the other 300 pages so I can listen to it. Truly, this was one of the best writing exercises I've ever done. There is no other way to get such thorough feedback. So, goodbye for now readers. I have a lot of work to do!

Glutton for Punishment?

Honey-do List and Empty Verbs

I have a honey-do list, and, unfortunately, I'm the honey doing it.

At this point in my edits, it's impossible to complete a 'fix' without either realizing something I need to adjust for consistency or getting a cool new idea for how to make something a little more believable and sparkly.

Here's the hubby doing dishes.

Too bad he can't take care of editing for me!

I jot down questions about everything from plot to character background, plus scene order, general comments from critiques, and some 'writerly sins' that I frequently commit.

Here's a small sample:

Things to Remember-

Emotion needs to be real to the reader. Allowing the reader time to infer her emotions.

-By slowing down her thoughts, letting more of her physical reaction reach the reader.

-Put the reader in familiar situations and then twist, exaggerate

-Make Lara’s empathy real by showing how it affects her physically and the way her thoughts change

Edits to make-

Is the chunk in the mental hosp with David interesting enough?

Does Lara’s climax w mother go too fast- the chronology is messed up there- is it troublesome that David has so much more time Outside than Mother has in the Home?

Check resolution w/ David’s Mom
The talk- adjust Lara to not be so childish sounding.

Make Lara more engaging in beginning- give her more knowledge of what she wants to do and no power to stand up to Mother.

devils milhopper- crime scene tape, etc.

Rewrite dialogue about Mommydaddyetc. Make girl really angry.

Mother needs to explain about the other fruit

Lara delves all the girls before they can enter the orchard.

Watch for and elimiinate when possible:

-over use of: elllipses, dashes, italics, exclamation poits, inner dialogue questions ie- "I wondered if..., Would she faint?, etc."

Could/would
Wanted to, Watched, Listened, Wondered
Felt, feel
Was, had
Back
Then, For a moment
Thing /something/somehow
-ly
Begin/began/started
Going to be/do
Very so quite really
Knew/know
Just
Sortof
Quite
Somewhat
Usually, Always, never
see/saw
guess
but
even
nice, fine

I've gotten a lot better at not writing things in passive voice, ie- I threw the ball (active) vs. The ball was thrown by me (passive) This frees my mind to work on other sins like using empty verbs.

In first person, empty verbs add a level of commentary between the reader and the experience.
Compare this:

"I saw her hair glinting in the sunlight." (Obviously the character whose head we're in saw this. Just describe what was seen!)

To this:

"Her golden brown hair poked out of her ponytail, each stray hair backlit like a filament in a light bulb against the sun."

Let the reader see through the character's eyes with out reminding them that someone else is seeing, someone else is wondering, someone else is tasting, hearing, and living. So every time I catch a new empty verb I put it on the list. Then when I'm in a mood to reword (very rare!), I use the 'find' function and fix them. Almost invariably, these words indicate that the sentence structure or word choice is weak.

I just started crossing through completed items instead of deleting them and this helps me in two ways- I can see what I've actually done instead of merely thought about (it gets really confusing after 10,000 changes) and it gives the illusion of getting something done! Haha! Really, it helps me to stay on track and reassures me that the novel is improving, however slowly.

How do you keep track? Any secrets to share, writer-friends?
Glutton for Punishment?

Where do we go from here?

Click here to set the mood
Okay, book. Have a seat.
Things have been really good between us lately, and I appreciate that you've been trying. But I found out something about you a few days ago, and I need to clear the air.
Your ending is rough. It was shocking, actually. I'm partially to blame; I've worked the first half a million times, and the second half has only gotten two quick passes. Of course you feel neglected. But that's no excuse.
Have I grown as a writer and you haven't kept up? Are we in different places? Have I done this to you? Your scenes are shallow, you're pathetic fallacied, and you don't even answer my questions, questions I have been raising since page one. How about some resolution? Is that so hard for you?
Fine. I'm angry. I tried to hide it, tried to be Pollyanna. I was looking for an easy fix, a silver lining, but I've given up. I will have to rewrite EVERY sentence. Didn't I just write these sentences?
You're hurting me. You're giving me little choice but to eat another bowl of ice cream and curse your complicated "this isn't easy for me, either" plot.
But I'm not ready to give up on us.
I'm not going to spend this evening reading "Harry Potter" or "The Chronicles of Narnia" or any of my other comfort books. I won't fool myself into thinking we're going somewhere by sketching some cover art ideas or plotting a sequel. I'm not sure we can make it, honestly.
But I'm done pouting, done whining to my husband and sister and anyone else who will listen. I'm ready to try.
-Kelly
Glutton for Punishment?

Writing is rewriting. No kidding.

I have an imaginary world, separate from the world in my novel. The world of writing my novel. It's a place where I read through my stack of pages, make a few notes, then click my pen and put it away. It's fine. All these changes are cosmetic. The bones are in place, the description is relevant to the story, the characters are deep and consistent...but it's not real.

I'm finishing my hard-copy edit- my third pass at the whole manuscript. I THOUGHT that the end was in decent shape, but it is not. The last hundred pages are over-complicated, confused and convoluted. The good news is I thought of a way to streamline the whole thing, but it involves cutting that chunk and rewriting.

I remember thinking "I'll have to come back to this," and just wanting to get my characters to the end. That was fine, then. I needed a frame to start with, and that's what a first draft is for me. An ugly, chipped-paint, rusty, teetering scaffold.

My second pass was mainly to learn more about the craft of writing- a really long writing exercise about believable dialogue, fresh description, a weaving together of story elements to form a cohesive whole. I did a lot of workshop critiquing and read a lot of agent tips and writing articles in this pass.

So, now I'm in the third edit. Streamlining plot, refining characterization and motivations, and checking details. Cutting passive voice, deleting/adding commas, checking commonly overused words (just, that). I also have a habit of  using multiple verbs when one will do- ie- I thought I saw, I turned to see, etc. I'm not sure what that's called, but I recognize it.

I've also started a fourth edit using Microsoft Narrator (mainly so that any submissions I make to my crit group will have an extra pass of editing), where I listen to the computer read me the text. Narrator is a bit of a pain because it won't read from Microsoft Office, so I copy the chapter I'm working on into Notepad. The narrator goes as fast or slow as you want, but it feels safer to me to take notes fast, and then make the changes in Office slowly. The really nice thing about Narrator is it came with Windows. So maybe you already have it.

My next step after the Narrator edit is to hand out the full manuscript to some Beta readers. After responding to their comments, I think I'll be ready to query. In my dreams:)

I critiqued a friend's first chapter a few months ago. He hasn't read it, nor will he until he finishes his first draft. I think that's fine- that's what I did, too. Not because I didn't want feedback, but I wasn't sure I could do it. I needed to get the boost from concluding the story and believe that I was a writer before I had people tell me what was wrong with my writing. So, join a crit group if you can, but not if you're not ready to learn. Because humility and learning like to hold hands. They're going steady.

One day I'll read my MS and feel satisfied. Or at least tolerably pleased. But we're not there yet. And that's okay.
Glutton for Punishment?