Reversals

I've made the sudden and jarring switch from triumph to apprehension. It was as easy as dropping my submission packet in the mail.

How can the high of three days ago be so quickly forgotten? All it takes is a few unaswerable questions.

What if I missed something really obvious? What if he hates ? What if the action is too actiony? Or the romance too romantical? What if the world building is overcrowded? What if he just requested pages out of pity? Do agents do that? I hope not.

I read through and smoothed out my first 50 pages. Then I printed them, marked them up, had my mother-in-law go over them with me (she had the brilliant idea to change dribbled to trickled, much better word choice. This was a big deal at 11 PM last night.), cut a thousand words!!! (how did I miss the excess the other 15 times I've gone through this thing?), inputted all my changes by 2:30 AM and then printed it out again this morning, popped it in an envelope and sent it off.

I felt a little nervous, but not nearly as bad as I did before my pitch. Mr. Agent likes my idea. He likes my writing enough to ask for 50 pages. I've done my best. If he doesn't want to represent me, then I'll find someone else who will love my book.

This is me letting go. I will enjoy this process. I will, dang it! How do you let go?